Smells like Teen Spirit
I personally am not too sure which is worse, the AXE spray or the stink that it is supposed to be covering up.
I pop zits on my sisters back. I get a sick and perverse joy from it.
I always describe each one in gory and intricate detail to her, as I pop it, because she is so disgusted by it all!
I used to accuse her of being a big baby about the pain too, until I had one for her to pop.
Sweet mother…the pain!
I’m sorry. I’ve never heard of carbuncles before, and I have to say that it totally sounds like a word that an old, white-bearded hillbilly would use to describe testicles.
“He done kicked me right in the carbuncles!”
Oh, well, I haven’t smelled Voodoo. Phoenix, however, is heavenly, and I would fall for any man in a heartbeart who wore it*.
*probably not true.
“heartbeart” is, of course, “heartbeat”
Must’ve been a Freudian slip while thinking about bears.
If an abcess is a giant pimple with a single, glistening bulge about to erupt into a red, seething, bleeding crater…
A carbuncle is an abcess with multiple craters-to-be; a loathsome red prominence topped with multiple puss-bubbles on the verge of explosion.
Does that allow you to visualize these things better?
They also tend to sprout little miniature heads which will jabber incomprehensibly. Cite (pdf). You don’t want that.
(Oh…and it’s PUS, dammit!)
Sorry I haven’t made it back till now…
hillbilly queen- ARGH! Hell no, it didn’t smell like cheese. It was more like creme brulee.
Maxx- “unrelenting female attention and/or late nights.” Heh. Not the kind he was hoping for.
Gaffer- see above creme brulee reference.
These zits don’t look like boils or carbuncles. If they don’t start improving in a couple days, we’re going to see the doc. My hubby is known for avoiding doctors even when he has a serious ailment such as kidney stones but he’s not getting away with this one.
As far as the whole AXE thing goes: I’d much rather him use the Cool Water or Fahrenheit I bought him. But nooooOOOOOoooo, he’s gotta have the cheap shit. At least it’s not Stetson or Old Spice. <gag>
Hunh-- who’d have thought Pussy got the good name in that family?
My dermatologists have always maintained that poking around at pimples is never a good idea. You just make it angry and damage it, so it actually takes longer to heal. When I had a bad reaction to a new deoderant, thankfully nowhere near as bad as your husband’s Seeker74. I tried neosporin but it makes getting dressed sort of tricky, most clothes covering the armpit area the way they do. I ended up just keeping them clean, splashing them with a little water and patting dry, a few times a day. All healed up in about five days.
You know what I think it is about Axe? It’s the amount some guys will use, not so much what it actually smells like. In the classroom, I’ve gotten up close and personal with all the scents and some would be tolerable if the boy hadn’t bathed in the stuff.
Hey, I just had an idea: I could get The Scotsman some Preparation H wipes so he could cleanse the area at work. It contains mostly witch hazel, among other inert ingredients. What do you think, guys?
I didn’t buy it because of the ad campaign, but because I like the way it smells. Mrs.Maxx likes the way it smells on me too. As for the “inexperienced with actual women” bit; well let’s just say that I have never had any complaints, but I have recieved quite a few “Thank You’s.”
It seems to be called Axe everywhere on the planet apart from the UK, where for some obscure reason it’s called Lynx.
Chiefly notable for:
-Some inspired advertising
-Coming in 8.32x10^14 different pongs that change weekly so you can never find the smell you use, just 3 new ones that have come out in the last week.
-The ‘dry’ antiperspirant, which departs from the usual Axe/Lynx method of covering up your sweaty smell and instead prevents smells by sealing up your skin with what seems to be a mixture of hairspray and picture mounting adhesive.
If your hubby is using the antiperspirant, it’s probably a good idea to squeeze him out in case he expires like the girl in Goldfinger. And you won’t need to worry about gauze shifting because it will be immovably welded to his skin…
The body spray on the other hand is OK - my girlfriend likes the smell and I’ve never noticed any side-effects. Not even hordes of females pouncing on me to tear my clothes off 
I didn’t want to read this thread but I was so bored…
Anyway…advice to the Seekers’: sounds like sebaceous cysts to me, especially if they’re painful. When i was fatter and wearing traditional deoderant, I got them all the time. Eventually I got one that was so infected that I couldn’t put my arm down (it was about the size of a tennis ball). It REEKED. Even the surgeon who lanced it - a very nice Indian dude - made a horrified face and noted the STENCH.
Anyway, I had to have it surgically removed. They removed the sebaceous gland that kept getting filled with pus. Now I have a big armpit scar
I don’t get infected cysts anymore, if I do get them at all. I lost a bunch of weight and switched to a different deodorant (unfortunately I can’t find it online). You can get all sorts of fancy hypoallergenic deodorants and whatnots at health food stores. Or something like this.
In the meantime, I suggest “treating” the area by having him hold a hot, wet washcloth under his arm for an hour or so each night, then drying it completely (maybe with a fan) and then putting some antibiotic cream on it to keep it clean. My doctor told me that “hot” meant “put it in the microwave for a few seconds until it’s nearly too hot to touch”.
And have him maybe start USING deodorant just to keep some of the nasties out of his pits.
I would suggest dry heat when he’s able to sit still for a little while (10-15 minutes). Moist heat can cause further irritation. That might open up the pores and let them (ugh) drain on their own. Be careful to wash your hands and clean under your nails if you have to (squirm) squeeze them more. Maybe try some hydrocortisone cream or Benadryl cream a couple of times a day too.
It’s a toss-up. How come this supposedly manly spray smells just like the cheap perfume my great-grandmother and her friends liked? There ain’t nothing sexy about a guy who reminds you of your great-grammy.
WTF is it with wives and mothers desperately needing to pop zits?
Maybe your granny is wearing Axe. Didn’t think of that did ya?
Soaking in warm salt water helps draw out infections…
The red welts are getting better. There are a couple oozing thingies that I have drained this week. I’ve been dousing the area with first aid cleanser and then applying neosporin.
He did mention that he’s felt a little lump on that armpit for about 10 years and now it feels like it’s going away. He thinks that he must have had a “bag of poison” under his skin for all that time. By the way- the doc checked the lump during a physical last month, and said it’s not a swollen lymph node, so no worries.
Anyway, with the weekend approaching, he’ll have plenty of time to give his pit a rest from heat and friction. Should be much better by Monday.
And- I use latex gloves for “home surgery.”
Thanks for all the helpful suggestions.