…this duck-winged platypus made a barrel roll through the window and started hovering right in front of my face. I had no choice but to shave its belly, but I couldn’t find any razorblades so I had to use my ceremonial skulltopped scepter. I was hard at work when the blind postman delivered a bottle of purple mascara unfit for human consumption, so I ended up washing my hair with generic bourbon which was really stupid as it was raining. No dinosaurs, though. Phew.
Well today the pygmies that grow in the nether regions of my nutsack all died to an apparent outbreak of trichynosis from eating the pork and beans casserole that I made a month ago. I went to a voodoo witch doctor in order to resurrect them, but he apparently specializes in chicken resurrection only. Well, at that point the bombs all started dropping from the sky and omg wheeeeeeee these giant radioactive squirrels totally saved the day. After that, we resumed the pgymy revival ceremony, but I forgot my wallet so I went to Mars in order to retrieve it. Toe Jam and Earl gave me a ride there. When I got home I was too lazy to leave again.
i bottom-fucked a muffin-top while it rained datsuns, clogs… had to go down uptown for nothing, but made it up downtown for the rest. spent my whole lunch-hour making second withdrawals from the minute drop-off, but got back in time for yesterday. i almost forgot tomorrow, but remembered just in time to forget why i have already done what i won’t be asked to do later.
eta… i think…
I woke up to find my head firmly stuck in a tin of salmon. This was strange because I know for certain I went to bed last night wearing a rather fetching off the ear can of tuna.
Anyway, after an hour or so I prised the salmon tin of my head and decided to nip out for a small cooked gerbil from the small cooked gerbil shop just on the corner.
Dammit! the place was on fire so I decided on roast giblets of rat which when eaten smothered in a delicate sauce are rather scrummy.
Eating my giblets on the way home I spotted a rare purple spotted, pink striped flying spaghetti monster being pursued by an even rarer mauve spotted,grey speckled elephant shrew.
Quite naturally I drew my trusty 88mm and shot both the buggers.
An uneventful morning so far, I do hope something exciting happens later in the day