It is only if they’re your own.
Now I know I am not alone in this. I could go on about it for a while, but you guys have pretty much summed up how I feel about kids. Thanks.
I mostly go through phases. Some kids I absolutely love and they are the greatest. Others I absolutely hate and won’t go around them. (If I can avoid them that is thinking of one of her younger cousins who she gets roped into babysitting fairly often… he can be really cool but really rambunctious) This one little girl I babysit fairly often, Jesse (I think 18 months but I’m not certain I forget how old she is) is the sweetest thing. She doesn’t cry too much and I can cuddle with her and stuff. I think it also depends on the age (sometimes I wonder if the boys have this area of time when they are total brats then a very short time where they can be decent then their off into teenagehood… I prefer the girls to the boys but I do realize the girls can be bad too)
I’m of two minds about having my own children (someday, maybe). Sometimes I think it would be wonderful to teach them and watch them grow etc and then I’ll want absolutely nothing to do with kids. I don’t think its bad that you don’t like them. I think even the people who seem to love kids some days just want to duct tape them to the floor and then go scream.
So in conclusion. I like kids sometimes. No its not bad to dislike kids, I do it too myself fairly often. Why is it Taboo? I think it has to do with the propogating of the species. Who knows really?
To not like children does not that also mean you don’t like your childhood?
No. Not at all. As one poster put it, she didn’t like kids even when she was a kid. I can relate to that, too. Mostly, I think the posters who recognize that unruly children should be blamed on the parents are correct. One of my proudest moments was in a restaurant when an elderly couple at the next table leaned over and complimented us on how well our children were behaving. That’s a reflection on both our children and on us as parents. Mostly it’s because of my wife, who is an elementary school teacher and knows how to make up games and distract children who are tending to get wiggly.
Being a parent does change your attitude toward children, but if I’m going to be honest, there are times when I can’t stand being around even my own progeny. Hey, we’re all human and we all have frayed nerves from time to time.
I hate kids. I even hated kids when I was a kid.
- Daria
That sums it up nicely for me, I think. Even when I was 9 years old I much preferred to hang out with adults.
OK, I love kids (although for those who don’t, hey, it’s a free country), but there’s some parents that you just want to slap. On the one hand, there’s the “too much information” parents. Yes, I’ll congratulate you when your kid says his first word, or starts walking, but frankly, why should I give a darn about his difficulties potty-training?
On the other hand, there’s the parents who don’t discipline their kids. I can’t blame the kids there; kids, like everyone else, will generally act in their own self-interest, and if they can get away with running around the restaurant, climbing over houseguests, etc., they will. If it happens to me, I’ll be tolerant of the kid, but I might give the adults a talking-to.
I never liked hanging out with kids when I was one. I’ve always felt more comfortable with adults for some reason.
I have a real hard time with the people who dislike small children, because they are acting like children. I think people should dislike the parents. I mean, a small child who will not stop crying, like under 2 years old, shouldn’t be a problem to people. Babies cry, it’s what they do. However I positively cringe when I see children from 3-12 years running around acting like lil animals and all parents do is smile and oooh and ahhhh. I have the utmost respect for kindergarten and elemantary school teachers, because I could never have the patience to put up with other people’s mistakes in parenting.
Anyway, I would say more, however, Weirddave said everything perfectly as far as I’m concerned. =)
I understand how you feel. I used to dislike children. They made me uncomfortable, and I didn’t know what to say to them. This also stands for when I was a child myself, since I related to adults, and not to children. Since I’m now the mother of four, I enjoy kids a lot more. I certainly enjoy my own more than I enjoy other people’s kids, and I’m not going to open my own daycare, but, my tolerance level has increased dramatically.
I think the reason that it makes people upset is because everyone adores their own children, and the thought that someone might be discriminating against their precious darlings based on age is too much to take. After all, everyone should love my kids.
Besides that, I think that the general consensus is that all people should just be born with some great maternal/paternal instinct to protect the young, and anyone who does not adore the young must therefore be heartless.
Again, since I never liked kids before I had them, I do not agree with the above opinions, I just think that’s why people are supposed to like kids.
I don’t like kids. I think they suck. I think their parents suck worse though.
Kids tend to make me uncomfortable as hell, and some things about them make my skin crawl…That having been said, I want children of my own one day(when I’m married and settled down), and will be a wonderful father.
I think the thing about kids that bugs me the most(besides their parents :)), is what they represent. Kids represent the cliche “Ball and chain”. Your life as you know it will forever be changed after having children. No more tom-catting around, endless responsibilities Etc…
I had a girlfirend with kids once…what a nightmare!
Oh, and MSK…trying to find a woman in my area without a litter is near impossible. I feel your pain man.
-Sam
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm…all you folks who’ve posted to this thread and righteously proclaimed that the KIDS aren’t the problem, it’s the fucking PARENTS…and continued by saying that when you become parents you’re going to raise your kids RIGHT, just packed to the brim with love and jollity…
Once you’ve done that and have produced these perfect offspring, DO come back and let us know how you accomplished it, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
This is just my WAG, but I think there is a difference between jerks who don’t even TRY to raise children with any manners,(These are also usually the parents who proclaim that their child is completely innocent in any kind of problem at school, i.e., fights etc etc) and parents who try their damnest and just don’t succeed, or succeed to a marginal extent, but don’t produce ‘perfect’ offspring. Unfortunately, I’ve been exposed to more of the former. For the parents in the latter group, thank you. You have my utmost respect, honor, and gratitude. It’s usually your kids I can stand.
No, it really is the kids I don’t like. I don’t have a maternal bone in my body. It doesn’t really matter much to me if the kid behaves or not, I don’t want to be around it. I have ZERO desire to speak to children or to play with them. Interestingly, I do like newborns, because at that stage they are like little helpless puppies or kittens. But one they get to 2, forget it. Don’t bring 'em back till they are 18. I didn’t even like my own brother when he was a kid.
And I always got along better with adults whe I was a kid, too.
Long-time lurker, rare poster (see single-digit post count), but I can’t resist getting in, tangentially, on this.
My wife and I decided prior to getting married not to have kids. Neither one of us is at all parental, we’re frankly probably too selfish, and we would not make good parents. In fact, I got fixed before we got married (the interaction with the urologist is a whole 'nother rant - he wanted my fiancée’s permission prior to fixing me!). What kills me is how often we’re asked "Do you have kids…Why not?..How could you not want kids…Oh you’ll change your mind…"etc, as if it some sort of pathology to not want kids. My usual response is that I wish everyone put as much thought into HAVING kids as we did into NOT having kids…and that seems to give them pause.
My all-time favorite, when I get to work it in, is “Well, if my wife DOES get pregnant, of course I’ll be excited, because she better announce ‘Honey, we’re going to have the Son of God’ .” Most of the time the other party doesn’t get it, and I get this quizzical look until I explain about being a “pleasure model”, and how if she’s pregnant it BETTER be divine intervention.
Shaky Jake
Thanks for coming out of lurk mode for this.
My hubby just went to the eurologist for the initial consultation. We’ll see how it goes from here.
What get’s me is people’s initial reaction when I tell them I’m not having kids. Many people just can’t believe I’m serious. One longtime friend, upon hearing of my recent marriage and our plans to not procreate insisted on blaming my husband. She went on and on, as if this was a decision he was forcing on me. She simply did not get the idea that I, a female, do not want my own kids.
Matt, I’ve been saying that line for YEARS—Daria stole it from ME. After all the stealing I’ve done from Mrs. Parker, I suppose it serves me right . . .
I’m with Ike on this. It’s all too easy to have kids, the hard part is raising them. When that idiot white-trash family out in where ever had those eight babies a couple of years ago and everyone fell all over themselves about it, I thought, “goodness—RATS can have eight at once! Let’s come back in 15 years and see if they’ve raised eight intelligent, responsible children, and THEN be all impressed.”
"I hate kids. I even hated kids when I was a kid. "
Then they can’t like themselves either. duh. 
I’m a 36 year married female. Been married close to 13 years now. We don’t have any children.
I have NEVER liked kids. Handy says: “I hate kids. I even hated kids when I was a kid.” Ditto.
As soon as I was old enough to know where babies came from I started saying “I’m not having kids”. Naturally everyone said that I’d change my mind. Nope. Never did. Not me. I purposely dated guys that didn’t want a family.
I’ve always gotten a lot of slack: women are supposed to love children and want to have their own. I don’t gush over pictures. I don’t attend baby showers. I don’t coo at babies. I don’t hang out with mothers and talk about teething and potty training.
I have a big family (only one brother, but several aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) and family get-to-gethers are quite large with several babies / tottlers in the mix. You’ll find me downstairs playing pool with the menfolk and the women upstairs discussing “girly stuff” (for lack of a better word).
I’ve always known that I didn’t want kids and, and honestly, I’d make a lousy mother. There are already too many lousy mothers in this world. I don’t have the ability, nor the desire for that matter, to relate on their level. I talk to them as I would any adult, lacking the skill to relate to them at their age level. Zero patience, no tolerance. Kids are not people until they can drive.
My brother and his wife, Tania, have two - a son, soon to be 7 and a daughter who’s just turned 4. They call me Lynn. None of this Aunt Lynn stuff. I last about 10 minutes playing (interacting might be a better word) with them before just getting up and leaving. Don’t get the wrong impression here. I’m never mean or cruel, mostly stand-offish. Oddly enough Tania says her kids like me and are happy when they come to visit. Beats the hell out of me.
Only after my hubby had the “big V” did the “When ya gonna have kids?” comments stop. Hubby is the only boy offspring on his side and, unfortunately, the surname will die with him.
Although, his older sister will utter the odd comment about how we should have at least one as Hubby is the only one who can make their parents grand-parents. Being an MD she’s quick to add that the “big V” can easily be reversed. HA. Like that’s gonna happen.
Now, if we were to talk about animals … that a whole other ball of wax. When the dogs get on my nerves: open the door and kick them out. (Don’t panic, we live in the boonies on two acres.) I would scrap to the death for my puppies.
Ike, I assume I’m exempted from the above, since I made it clear I do have kids. I understand what you’re saying, though. Being a conscientious parent is a bear of a job, and don’t think there aren’t some days I’d like to throw in the towel, grab a loincloth and go live in the Venezuelan rainforest. However, the results of knocking yourself out trying to raise your kids to be human beings is worth it. My daughter, who just turned 15, is an honors student, sweet, polite, intelligent, well-read and a person I am honored to call my daughter. I love her because she’s my kid. I like her because she’s a fine person.
My son is six, and has a few emotional problems, but he knows what is appropriate behavior and what isn’t. He just has difficulty making good decisions on acting appropriately sometimes. He’s made a lot of progress in the past few months, though. He’s really trying to learn control and I feel the same paternal pride in him.
They aren’t perfect (Hell, neither am I. I guess it’s genetic). But the conscientious effort my wife and I put into parenting is at least resulting in good kids.
Most of the rants against parents are because when the children act inappropriately, the parents don’t enforce discipline. Any kid can have a bad incident. My son has had plenty. But in situations like that, if a word or two doesn’t keep him in line, he’s removed from the situation and given a talking to. That usually sets him straight. It’s obvious, in the situations other posters have brought up, that NO discipline has ever been used on these little monsters, so they wouldn’t respond anyway. And that, friends and neighbors, is crappy parenting.
Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week, showtimes at 6:00 and 9:30.
Aenea:
Just wanted to say that I’d be glad to share my experiences with your hubby should he have any questions/concerns re: vasectomy. Mine was a breeze - I was a tree surgeon at the time, lots of heavy lifting, had it done on late on a Thurs, was back at work on Mon. Never noticed any differences between pre and post. Did have a funny experience dropping off a sample to make sure I was indeed shooting blanks
Counterperson: What is this?
Me:[at crowded lab counter] A, umm, er spermsample.
Her: A what?
Me: spermsample
Her: [to co-worker, at other end of lab] MILLIE! WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS GUY’S SPERM SAMPLE?.
Had I been quicker, I would have retorted “MILLIE, IF SOME OF MY WIFE’S SALIVA GOT MIXED WITH IT, WILL THAT INTERFERE WITH THE RESULTS?”. Alas, I just slinked out and tried not to notice the way most everyone was looking at me.
I’d also be interested if the doc requires your permission before fixing your hubby - I was livid over that.
Shaky Jake