Those damn suicide phone callers

I got home today and had a “suicide note” spoken to me in my answering machine. So, I go get on the phone and call this person (my mom…again) and try to find out what is up. I hate being put in the middle of these things. I have been getting these things for two times or so a year for the last several years. Oh well, have you guys had those calls before?

HUGS!
Ellis

Um, what? Your mom’s threatening suicide over the phone? To your answering machine? :confused:

Lindyhopper, yes… and she does it twice a year or so.

HUGS!
Sqrl

Good lord.

Before he hung himself, my boyfriend (at the time… I’m not with him anymore, obviously) called me. Sadly, I wasn’t around to accept the call and my machine had to get it. (He seemed very distant, not sad or angry or anything, really calm. He didn’t say he was going to kill himself, just a lot of “I need to get away” and “I can’t do this”, “I love you” click) I’ve never been so angry at anyone in my entire life because, after that, I spent a lot of time thinking “Oh my god, if I had just BEEN HOME, he’d still be alive!”

Now I think, “Oh my god, if he had just NOT HUNG HIMSELF, he’d still be alive!”

It’s much easier to think that way.

PS - If my mom tried to pull that shit with me, I would A) bitch at her until the end of time, B) Ignore her until she knocked that shit off, or C) Offer the best suicide tips I can think of, calling her bluff (which I know it would be).

I should start saving them and string them into one long loop and put a beat to it. It could be a really kick ass techno song. I can tell when she is calling about that since the tone in her voice is always a lot different.

More about my mom, she took her second honeymoon on an old cemetary tour and did etchings of the older graves. She has been looking to by a hearse lately (she is a housewife) and has been thinking about starting a livery (that is what hearse drivers are called) service. She really rocks sometimes like that.

Like I said, I get these calls maybe twice a year or so, sometimes they end up on my answering machine and other times she actually catches me on the phone. They used to distress me but now they just bother me since I hate being manipulated that way. Really, I live over 1600 miles away from her.

HUGS!
Sqrl

Whoops, the problem with never previewing. I know how you feel Silver Fire. Although, there were several calls when I was younger from the police (I didn’t live with my mom) when she was in the hospital because she took several hundred sleeping pills, etc.

Now when I get those calls, I just say, “Remember Debbie.” She was my sister who killed herself a little over ten years ago. (Well maybe 12 years ago.) I remind her how we sang "ding dong the witch is dead and all took a poop in her grave. :slight_smile: (We really didn’t do that, but it sure would be a funny story if it were true.) That usually gets her to remember that suicide is a bad thing and that it effects the family more than the suicidee.

HUGS!
Sqrl

PS. My sister really did kill herself, that wasn’t made up.

Oh Sqrl, I am so sorry hon. Having a Mom who talks about suicide is so hard. I saw my Mom cut her wrists when I was 10, did it right in front of us. To this day when she talks about wanting to die it upsets me bad. {{{{{Sqrl}}}}}

And Silver I am sorry you went through that. It wasn’t your falt ! My first husband killed himself the same way (hung himself) 4 months after we were married, I was 18. {{{{Silver}}}}

I understand how both of you feel and if either of you need to talk my email address is listed.

Thanks Aye. But really, I’m okay. It’s been a while and, like I said, I blame him. He’s the one that put the rope around his neck, not me. And I honestly don’t know if it would have helped any had I been able to take that call. Maybe, maybe not. I like to hope “maybe not” since it really does make it easier. I have moments (like now) when I think that maybe talking to me really would have prevented it. Like, the reason that he was calling me is so I would talk him out of it or something. :frowning:

Guess I’ll never know now, huh? I don’t dwell on it though.

Sorry to know about your husband. I’d go ahead and say that it wasn’t your fault but, being the smart chick that you are, I’m sure you already know that.

I feel for you Silver and Sqirrel.

I dated a serial suicide threatener starting my senior year in HS and through most of college. (I was going to save her) When I finally dumped her to me, emotionally, I was killing her because she had stated many times that she would kill herself if I left. And since I had interrupted a few attempts befor I really thought she would be dead by morning.

She is still alive AFIK and now she blames me for her problems.

The problem is that there is a scene in Blazing Saddles that is no longer funny to me.

When the sheriff pulls his gun on himself and says ‘Nobody moves or the nigger gets it’ and then gets himself into his office safely makes me realize that I was the stupid townspeople for her.

[heavy sigh]

SqrlCub
Maybe you should mave .wav files and put them on a website.

XXOOO

Zebra

God, I used to hate those calls. The ones I would get would be live and I’d have to sit there for two hours telling the guy, “No, you’re not evil, just drunk,” when what I wanted to say was, “I know as well as you that you really aren’t going through with this. Can I go to bed and talk to you when you sober up?”

Damn dude, I know that story. I came to school one day, with a recent piece of scar-art on arm, not healed yet (stylized M). It started a conversation with a cute girl who was a severe self-mutilator/suicide attempter. I was going to save her ::rolleyes::. Well anyway, after the second time she called me from an institution I told her that I would be around to support her if she wanted my help, but that I couldn’t have that kind of load on me. I thought I’d killed her.

I still see her most days, and she’s nice to me, but complains to other people that I’m mean because I won’t go out with her and that’s the root of all her problems. Gods!

LC

I know I’m probably going to get…well, roasted…for this, but…

I’ve never been suicidal, but I’ve been through some bad times. Thing is, it’s hard to get people to listen to you when you’re generally depressed. There was never just one thing troubling me; it was always a combination of topical problems and emotional dysfunctions. If you say, “This happened and I feel X and I can’t do Y because of Z and this is going to happen…” their eyes glaze over. Or they just book out. But I found, and go ahead and flame me, that people are more willing to listen when you say, “I’m going to kill myself.”

I know some of you, maybe all of you, are thinking, “So you were just doing it for the attention! That’s so low!” But by the time I agreed to put the pills away or unwind the noose [I really did make a noose once, though I had no intention of putting my head in it], I did feel better, partly from the advice I’d been given, and partly because I’d been taken seriously for a change.

Yes, I know that’s not the best way to get taken seriously. But on the occasion of the noose it was the only way. Believe me. I was there.

I think a couple of Chuck Palahniuk books have given me an interesting perspective on the subject.

Fight Club: Marla’s lines. “I don’t think this is a for-real suicide. I think this is one of those ‘cry-for-help’ things.” She also says “The reality of my life is that I could die at any moment. The tragedy of my life is that I don’t.”

The Narrator (Ed Norton in the movie) also explains the death threat (suicide) thing to Marla at a support group:

“When people think you’re dying, they actually pay attention to you–”

“Instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.”

The central themes of the book, nihilism and self-improvement through self-destruction, also deal fairly closely with suicide and perhaps more accurately, not fearing death.

Survivor: This one’s about a guy who’s the only person left from a suicide cult. He gets these calls. Except he tells people to go ahead and do it (there’s much more to it than I can explain here, just read the book). The main character also says that people don’t want their problems solved, because once your problems are gone all you have is the unknown.