But what I find bizarre are the promos for the show. There’s one that displays “Anna Nicole on global warming” on the screen. Then she’s shown talking to a tiny dog, telling him to stop farting.
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiilarious!
But what’s really weird is Smith herself. Is it just me, or does she look really, really, really awful? When I saw the promo, I thought it was a parody of her - she looks positively garish. And for someone who’s gotten where she is (wherever that is) mostly because of her looks and body, this is incomprehensible to me. Ugh.
I can comfortably say that I have never, ever found that woman- and I use the term loosely- attractive. She’s as skanky as any Jerry Springer guest, seems to be about as bright as a black hole, and her nasty, vericose veiny tits are each bigger than her head… how can men be attracted to her? I wouldn’t fuck her if you paid me.
Anyone catch the article on her in this week’s Newsweek? The writer was following her around for a day to see what her new reality show will be like. His verdict: A must-see.
Highlights include her attempting to peel a piece of celery she was eating as a part of her ill-fated diet. This woman may, in fact, be the dumbest human being to ever walk the planet.
As to her letting herself go, her days of living off her body are over. She will be getting nearly $100 million from that cadaver she married, so she is free to balloon up to a quarter ton as she sees fit. I, for one, will be glued to the TV to watch this train-wreck of a show.
How can this possible be a must see? What reason would anyone have to watch it? I mean, after all, there were only two reasons anyone noticed her - she had gigantic breasts and married a rich, very old guy. Now the old guy’s dead, the story’s passe’, and her body is terrible. Good heavens, she looks worse than Roseanne ever did. Now, I don’t mean to harp on her looks, but when that’s all you have… shouldn’t they be good looks?
So let’s recap. The promos make her look pretty stupid - whether she is or not is immaterial - so one assumes that’s the direction they’re going to take the show. And she looks - as I keep bringing up, beating the notion to death - bad, physically speaking.
So if it’s not selling her as a smart person or a pretty person, what’s left? She’s not terribly funny, either. Completely unappealing.
dan, you underestimate just how hilariously stupid she is.
I’ve mentioned this before, but what the hell. Several years ago, before she had progressed to eyeballing the gold fillings in her geezer-of-the-week’s mouth, she did an appearance on Conan O’Brien. I think it was about her selection as the Guess? jeans girl. Not sure.
Anyway, he starts talking to her. Within ten seconds it becomes obvious that she is only dimly aware that the sounds coming out of his mouth are “language” and that they have “meaning.” She attempts to hold a discussion, but mostly her responses are that wrinkled-nose giggle that is designed as a placeholder for dialogue when somebody isn’t actually smart enough to know what to say.
Conan, to his credit, realizes how amazingly stupid she is, and the the audience has keyed into it as well. He gets in a couple of subtle digs; she’s clueless. He almost immediately proceeds to making fun of her directly to her face, and she’s completely oblivious, nodding and giggling and agreeing. It was unbelievably funny.
Yes, this sounds like an attempt to capitalize on “The Osbournes,” but I think it has the potential to be another classic on its own bizarro-world terms. Of course, it could also be painfully lame. Me, I want to see for myself.
Heh. Well, I’d never confuse her with a laureate, of course. So what you’re saying is that although the ads seem to be making fun of her intelligence, she’s probably ignorant of it? Wow. Is that possible? To be put out there and made to look as a buffoon - with help from you, of course - but without you knowing you look like a buffoon?
According to the article, the concept for the show was hatched before The Osbournes was created. So who knows. The promos are just weird, weird, weird.
Watching the promos for the show I could physically FEEL my IQ drop 8 points, and no way I ever get those 8 back. I figure if I actually watched the show, by the middle of one episode I would have to be in diapers and on a ventilator, so I’m pretty sure I’ll be missing this one, so I won’t be missing it.
I presume that the first show (or two?) will be highly watched just because we, as Americans, are also tempted to slow down when we pass a car-wreck on the highway.
After that, it’ll go away.
(Hmm… I wonder what Fox has done with “The Chamber”?)
