Anna Nicole Smith To Get Her Own Reality Show

Episode One: An Emmy or Bust!

Anna Nicole awakens to find that her left breast, previously of gargantuan proportions, has shrunk in the night. A leak is suspected and Anna rushes to the bathtub to submerge the behemoth. Telltale bubbles reveal the site of the leak, and we watch as Anna Nicole carefully applies a patch stolen from her son’s bicycle repair kit.

On her way to the plastic surgeon for a consult, hilarity ensues when Anna Nicole stops at a 7-11 and attempts to reinflate her fast-diminishing breast with an air compressor. “The damn nozzle won’t stay on my nipple!” we hear her cry in exasperation.

Later, we watch as Anna Nicole fills the toilet with hydrogen peroxide and carefully dips her entire head into the bowl. All the better to get full coverage for those beautiful locks. Watch out, Anna - we don’t you pulling a Lupe Valez!

Next week: Anna’s EEG reveals not only no brain activity - but no brain at all!

I think this has to be a smash hit! Think about it, she’s going to be doped up in every episode, thus setting herself up to be a laugh riot. Not to mention seeing her work out her frusterations before her impending court case by chowing down at all you can eat bars.

So, Anna Nicole is finally going to be introduced to reality?

That will be a hoot.

Ya know, back in her Playboy days, I used to think she was pretty hot. Now when I look at her I can’t help but laugh.

Either that, or a pair of hooters. :slight_smile:

(What? I was talking about OWLS, you perverts!)

This has the potential to be jaw-droppingly hilarious. I saw ANSmith interviewed on Conan O’Brien a few years back, and she was without question, far and away, the stupidest human being I’ve ever seen. After less than a minute of her moronic giggling, Conan acquired this wry smirk and began making fun of her to her face, and she didn’t figure it out. Either she’s managed to nail down the most perfect and bulletproof dumb-bimbo act in history, or she has to read the instructions on the shampoo before every application.

Assuming the latter, the show could be amazingly funny, in much the same way the daily-train-wreck “Osbournes” is. But Smith’s show, I predict, won’t last beyond a single season, because once the shows actually hit the air (it’s taping right now), and Smith realizes, however dimly, that the raison d’etre is her staggering dearth of anything resembling human intelligence, she’ll stomp her tiny feet, jiggle her copious mammaries, and run tearfully into hiding.

I’ll make the popcorn.

I can never understand what she is saying because she mumbles.

They need to combine this show with the Kato Kaelin show. Imagine the 2 of them trekking together across country, inviting themselves into unsuspecting homes everywhere.

I bet those will be stuffed owls.

No no no, it goes like this: after a hot night at the bar picking up 90 year olds, Anna heads back to the hotel room with Old man Richbody, for a night of viagra induced lovin’. The next morning, Anna wakes up in the bathtub, covered in ice, with the phone in her lap, and a note that says: “We Removed your Breast Implants. Call the Paramedics Immediatly, don’t get up or you will die!!”
Scene from Episode 2 : and on Anna Breast was a HOOK!!!

Anna’s breasts, dang it!!!

Nah, those hooters look natural to me. :wink:

I was really glad to see Anna Nicole doing wonders for the acceptance of the plus-size woman as a thing of beauty.

Too bad she’s done so much to prove what a minus-size IQ she has.

Hm. Just pondering ANSmith on a big screen TV…

Wife: Whatcha watching, dear?

Hubby: Dirigible races, I think.

When she first appeared in Playboy I thought she was hot, too. I like women with curves (natural curves), and she had curves to spare. She’s now augmented those curves (or just started storing fat in two really prominent areas), and the whole effect has become cartoonish.

What the hell - she’s managed to parlay those curves into a fortune so more power to her. I still can’t wait to see the show.

Upside for Kato: Some people will actually take him in.
Downside for Kato: But only people who are just like him.

Upside for Anna Nicole: Some people will actually take her in.
Downside for Anna Nicole: But only people who are just like Kato.

From what I remember of her first Playboy appearance and PMOY appearance was hardly a stick figure but plus sized? I don’t think so.


Oh, yeah, she was plus-sized back then, just that she was also proportionate.

If Kato’s reality series didn’t cause the reality show genre to jump the shark, ANS’ show will!

Or, to hijack another net.trend–

"He’s a former housemate who was caught in one of the most scandalous crimes of the '90s.
She’s a billionare widow whose bosom is exceeded only by her thirst for justice.

Together … they fight crime!"