… Absent-mindedness. That’s it.
One’s house key does not also serve to unlock the door of one’s automobile.
It is not necessary to dial 9 when making outgoing calls at home.
To be useful, a grocery list should consist of more than a simple count of the number of items to be bought. (“Deodorant, shampoo, cereal… what the hell was the fourth thing?”)
After unscrewing the cap on one’s juice bottle, it is recommended that the cap be re-screwed tightly if one is planning to shake the juice again.
If one wishes to scratch an itch with the end of one’s pen, it is suggested that one use something other than the writing tip. This is particularly true if the itch is on one’s face.
The top of the refrigerator is insufficiently cold to maintain ice cream’s consistency. The ice cream should be placed inside the freezer for best results.
The cat does not care if one has merely forgotten about its position of repose on the back of the couch when one decides to stretch one’s arms. As far as the cat is concerned, a punch in the head is a punch in the head.
One should make sure a door is actually open before trying to walk through it.
Checking the contents of one’s beer bottle is suggested before one requests a fresh beverage.
The clothes dryer will not start itself. After transferring the wet laundry from the washer, adding a softening sheet, and closing the dryer door, it is then necessary to press the start button, lest one find one’s laundry still sodden the following morning.
If one allows one’s phone to ring with the intention of subsequently checking voicemail to determine the importance of the call, it’s generally not helpful to then completely forget that the phone rang at all.
Do not fail to wash one’s hands thoroughly in the intervening period between the handling of hot sauce and the fingering of one’s eye, nose, genitalia, or sexual partner.
First underpants, then pants, then shoes. Then go outside.