What if you CAN do it, but give lousy head? That would have to be some kind of major bummer/rejection.
Do you think there are women who can, you know, go down on themselves? Those incredibly limber Asian contortionists come to mind.
I’m pretty sure the ultimate rejection would be your hand falling asleep. 
I’ve heard that Ron Jeremy (porn star) has several videos of him self pleasuring, but I’ve never been interested enough to actually look them up.
In this manner? HOW? He’s got an awfully big belly too.
… one time at band camp…
That was my first response as well. But if you’re really curious, just plug ‘ron jeremy autofelatio’ into Google. Aside from a Wikipedia link, it looks like all the first page or results go to free porn sites.
Good luck!
That’s as far as I’m willing to take the research.
I’m puzzled about this: wouldn’t it involve being hard and soft at the same time?
It’s not binary; there are degrees of hardness.
Understood, it’s just that I would have thought this trick would require one to be both “very” and “not very” at the same time. Anyway, if it’s possible it’s possible. I’m not doubting you.
And yet millions upon millions upon millions of guys give themselves a handjob every single day without thinking ‘ewww, I’m touching a dick’.
Sure, if you suddenly developed the ability at 45, it might seem odd, but if you’d been able to do it since 12, you probably wouldn’t think much of it. Keep in mind, also, the vast majority of guys that masturbate every day wouldn’t even think about doing the same thing to another guy.
That’s also true for women, some of whom can even lick their own nipples.
Practice, practice, practice!
How on earth can you do that?
What?!
:dubious: Pics or it didn’t happen.
I can lick my own nipples. It’s not very interesting or fun in any way. And no, I’m not posting pics.
At the risk of getting a tiny bit graphic here - with preparation, a half-chub and some scrotum acrobatics.
:sheepishly raises hand:
Not since I was younger and a lot more limber, but yeah. The key is preparation and stretching. If you can touch your toes with your knees locked, you can probably reach the promised land.
For the record, it’s not all that great.
What makes it not great? Is it the walking and chewing gum thing? Tell me I’m right.
According to my husband, what makes it “not all that great” is that you have to mentally choose between being the “sucker” or the “suckee,” but not both simultaneously. And though he can penetrate himself anally, he doesn’t do it by itself, only as an adjunct to other activities.
Basically it’s all masturbation. Not as much fun as being with another person.
I figured something like this. Sex is so much in your mind. If you’re not mentally into it, even something that should be awesome just won’t cut it.
However, people who autofellate do end up reaching orgasm if they want to, and yes, they can finish in their own mouths. But it must be hard to enjoy it.
As a corollary, is it true that masturbation with the opposite hand from what you usually use feels like it’s someone else doing it? As in, superior to your usual hand?
I must confess I have tried this with my right hand (I am left-handed) and I think there’s something to it. Any support from fellow Dopers, male or female?
Dave
I don’t want to post a link, just Google for “self anal” and go to “images”. Much of it is just dildos, but there several long johns out there. They are actual videos, no CGI.
Dennis