(cross-posted from my LJ and sanitized for the MPSIMS viewing audience. )
I’m fat. And I’ve been fat for my whole life, pretty much. Kept getting fatter until a couple of years ago, but have been pretty steady since. I’m about 5’4" and I last time I checked, a year or so ago, I weighed about 245 lbs. I wear a size 24. So yes, I am fat.
I am content with this. Me being fat is entirely my own fault. I don’t have an illness, as far as I know there’s no blubber gene I’m stuck with, as the rest of my family isn’t like this. I am fat because I like eating and don’t like exercising. That’s about it, really. If I really wanted to lose weight, I probably could. But that would require effort, and I’m fat in the first place because I’m lazy and I don’t like effort. See the conundrum here?
But I’m okay with being fat. Honestly, I’m content with myself. It took a very very long time and one wonderful boyfriend to get me to that point (the boyfriend then dumped me, but the lessons remain…), but I actually look in the mirror and go “Hey, you look pretty sexy today.” sometimes, and the rest of the time it’s usually “Not bad, Tara, not bad.” I’m proportional, no random huge parts or random tiny parts. It’s all big. I’m like a skinny girl with a whole bunch of extra padding. I have curves. I have a waist, I have hips, I have an ass and a really awesome set of boobs. I have a killer face, with apparently perfect cheekbones (according to some friends), a beautiful smile, and drop-dead-gorgeous eyes. Seriously, I have really pretty eyes. And honestly, all around, I think I’m really pretty. I like myself just fine the way I am, and I know for a fact that there are guys out there who think I’m f*cking beautiful.
I don’t understand other people sometimes. My friend Sarah complained to me at one point this summer about how fat she was. “Oh god, Tara, I weigh 200 pounds! I’m fat! I’m so fat! 200 pounds!” My only response to this is, “Um… so?” Seriously. Why does this matter, especially when you’re like Sarah and you’ve got a fantastic boyfriend who’s willing to move all the way across the country to be with you, as well as like 3 other guys who would fck you in two seconds if you asked. So you weigh 200 pounds. What’s your freaking point? Am I supposed to go "oh my god, Sarah, you really are a fcking whale, (even though I weigh 50 pounds more than you) you’re revolting, it’s disgusting, you’re soooo fat!" Or am I supposed to go, “Oh, Sarah, no, you’re gorgeous, blah blah blah.” Sarah is pretty, and obviously she’s sexy, because she has guys driving in from hours away to be with her, plus she’s just a really nice person. Generally. I find the “oh my god I’m so fat I’m disgusting” sht really offensive to me, seeing as how I’m a whole freaking lot bigger than her. If she’s a revolting ugly pig, then what the hell am I? Answer? Neither of us is revolting, she’s hot, I’m hot, and the only one who gives a flying fck about her weight is her. And she’s not doing anything about it, so she really should shut up.
Seriously, my philosophy about complaining is that if you have the power to change a situation, and you’re not exercising that power and doing anything about that situation, then you have no right to complain. Sarah and I are both not skinny. We are both not doing anything to make ourselves skinny. The difference? Sarah bitches about not being skinny, when she very well could be skinny if she worked at it. I don’t complain about being fat because I know that if I tried to lose weight I probably could, but I’m not trying. I’m fine how I am. Yeah, occasionally I’ll see a cute outfit I like and go “Man, I wish I could wear that.” But I’m not really wishing I was skinny as much as I was wishing that somebody on the freaking planet made cute clothes for fat people.
And I’ve kind of gone off track here, I think. I guess it all boils down to these points:
1.) I am fat. And that’s okay. I am still damn pretty, I am still damn sexy, I am still an intelligent, wonderful, unique, talented and interesting person. There’s just more of me than there is of you.
2.) If there’s something that you’re unhappy about, and you have the power to change it, and for whatever reason you are not exercising that power, then shut up and qwityerbitchin. Either fix it, or stop complaining.
3.) Don’t go “Oh, I’m so fat and ugly!” to a friend who weighs more than you. It’s not very nice.
Now that I think about it, I would really like to make a PSA about fat people, you know, like they have about parents letting their kids know they shouldn’t smoke. Similar format, you know how they have a bunch of people and the film them all saying the same thing and then cut back and forth among them so they repeat the message? I’m thinking something like that, and have the girls saying something like, “I’m fat. But that doesn’t mean I’m not pretty, and it doesn’t mean I’m not sexy, and it doesn’t mean I’m not a wonderful, beautiful, very cool person. All it means, is that I’m bigger than you.” :: That would be freaking awesome.
Kinda rambly, but thought I would like to share here.