I suppose I’m the only one who thinks so . . . but, sucks, it does.
This movie, to me, is the worst of the prequels, because while the first was nigh-unwatchable, it had a plot reminiscent of a breakfast cereal commercial. The second had no plot to speak of. But this one - it actually had a good story behind it. High melodrama, in my opinion. And despite every other flaw, it could have been good if the two leads had been capable of carrying off their roles. But they weren’t. I couldn’t sense any chemistry whatsoever between Christensen and Portman. And it’s ironic that given the crappiness of these two leads that they had the youngest (second-youngest? Was Jodi Foster younger?) Academy Award nominee ever in the cast - with no lines.
I tried to sit and enjoy it, and some piece of awful dialogue ruined scenes for me time and again. Or some other idiocy: the Wookiee are supposed to be primitive - so they fight with blasters shaped like crossbows. Anakin and Obi Wan are fighting several feet above actively-churning lava. Not only were their bodily fluids not boiled off, but Obi Wan wasn’t even visibly sweaty, and Anakin wasn’t either until one of the final close-ups. Count Dooku and Chancellor Palpatine were hanging out in the most exposed section of the ship during an enormous space battle, and when the ship crashed into a planet, burning off about half of it in the process, that little spire somehow survived.
I also wonder how the dead baby Jedi made their way into the movie. It happened a few minutes after the scene in which all the Jedi died (one of the few with any pathos, possibly because no one was talking.) Despite my liking that scene, apparently the sadness didn’t stick with the audience in the theater, who were laughing moments later as Yoda fought off his attempted killers. I’m thinking - test audiences didn’t feel sad enough? Let’s throw in some dead children.
I was also rather irritated by the unsubtleness of some of the dialogue - Anakin actually says, “You are either with me - or you are my enemy.” Gosh, that’s sure something to think about. I wonder what you could have been referencing, George Lucas.
It was sad to see Ewan McGregor valiently struggling against the bad dialogue. Thank goodness Samuel L. Jackson had so much screen time; he’s one of those actors with a presence that works no matter what he’s saying.
By the end, I was expecting no major character to have any hands left. How many behandings must there be in a movie? If it had happened once in Episodes 1-3, it would have been an interesting parallel to Luke’s hand in the original trilogy. But every other seen involved a hand dropping into an abyss. Is this some hamhanded (so to speak) attempt at symbolism? Did Lucas think he was establishing some sort of motif?
That’s all I can think of to hate the movie for, at the moment. I have to admit that my irritation was enhanced by the idiot sitting next to me, whose name I believe is Gaspy McGaspalot. Gaspy, it seems, somehow missed the first trilogy. Because every time anything happened, she gasped in shock. Every five seconds. Apparently, she wasn’t aware that Anakin Skywalker was going to turn evil. Or that the Chancellor wasn’t nice. Or that Darth Vader wore a black suit. Or that he had a Death Star in Episode IV.
Plus, in the scene where Anakin wakes up from a nightmare, did anyone notice the jewelry Padme was wearing, and the strings of pearls sewed onto her nightgown? WTF? She would have strangled herself in her sleep!
I liked a couple bits. I liked when R2D2 squirted oil at the droids and killed them. And I thought CGI-Yoda finally looked pretty good. And I did like the overall story, even if a competent director could have done so much more with it.
Ahh, well, at least I still have my (non-updated) videos of the original trilogy . . .