Thread topics you never want to see again

After seeing a thread tonight asking a question which has been asked and answered countless times before, I got to thinking about other recurring threads of this nature that seem to recur every few months.

Here’s my personal list of “threads we never need to have again”;

-Why can’t I run a prostitution ring and say we were making porn?
-Why won’t business X take cash if it says “legal tender” on it?
-Why didn’t the eagles just fly Frodo to Mt. Doom?
-How come Muslims suck so much?
-How come stuff costs more than it used to?
-Music these days isn’t as good as when I was a teenager!

Anyone else wanna add anything?

“Is this food safe to eat?” - because a)there’s no way for us to tell, but b)that won’t stop people giving advice, and c)some of that advice will be bullshit.

nm

Is this a scam?

Actually I don’t mind seeing this one, but yes. It is a scam.

I never want to see another tipping thread. Tip or don’t tip, I DON’T CARE.

“I am having an extremely complicated relationship crisis that I will explain to you in eight paragraphs with very minimal punctuation.”

“Why aren’t people more outraged about this thing I think they should be outraged about?”

“I pit myself” (To be fair, we don’t seem to get many of those these days, and thank Og for that.)

I don’t want to see any more dumb polls about nothing, with no particular reason for their creation, and no conclusion at the end. For example:

“Do you breathe oxygen?”

Yes
No
Other

Stop it!

TMI bowel movement/constipation/regularity/hemorrhoids/diarrhea threads. Jesus, just like a bunch of old men who meet for coffee every morning at Denny’s …

Should I seek medical advice about…?

Heck no, bleeding from your eyes is completely normal :rolleyes:

Threads bitching about other people’s thread topics.

And, if you act now, you get as a bonus the #1 most hated reply of all time: “If you don’t like it, then don’t read it.” Operators are standing by.

On the other hand, we don’t have nearly enough cyst/boil/pimple threads.

Pittings of “board celebrities.” Three quarters of respondents pile on, and one quarter doggedly defends. And the person in question never shows up.

… I am now having a serious urge to nibble on something, but I don’t know whether it was caused by your username, your remark, or the hour.
Not a topic, but yet another post which talks about Catholic priests marrying people.
Topics, “what should I do/see in [location]?” posted by someone who hasn’t cracked that location’s Tourist Department website’s open (if it doesn’t have a Tourism website you’re going to Mt. Doom) and who doesn’t give us any information about their tastes. If you’re going to Andorra and hate malls and the mountains, the best thing you can do is go to the Costa Brava…

Oh, I love those - two thirds of the time they’re hilarious because either it’s somebody asking “Hey, I left this raw chicken out on the counter for a week. I was going to eat it, but then I thought, eh, maybe.” or it’s “OH MY GOD THIS BUTTER SAT OUT FOR FIVE MINUTES has it already killed me?” I like pointing and laughing.

Well, quite, but the responses show a similar range; from “Meh - I ate half a putrfied badger I found under the boat I parked there last fall, and I was fine” to “ZOMG! deadly GERMZ are lurking everywhere waiting to KILL US! AAAAAARGH!”, with a stop on the way at irrelevant; “If you touch it with a plastic fork and it spins clockwise, it’s probably safe”

Missed edit window: on further thought, that should be one half of respondents agree the celebrity is annoying and leave it at that. But one quarter takes the opportunity to really get their knives out (dredging up long ago posts, casting aspersions on their personal life), while another quarter seems to have drunk some kind of Kool Aid and swears up and down the celebrity can do no wrong.

Same thread gets repeated at least twice a year for the same person. Gets to be annoying after a while.

Well I’ve only been posting for a year and lurking for a little longer than that, and I know I’ve seen at least three Things your SO does that drive you batty threads.

Mafia. Please create a subforum for the 29,152 Mafia threads.

Anything to do with role-playing games, comics, obscure sci-fi and other arcane geekery.

Oh and anything with “MMP” in the title. I may be completely off base because I’ve never actually read one; they just irritate me with the air of Mumsnet smuggery that wafts off them.

I think these threads are a thin disguise for people who just want to bitch about their own spouse, but don’t want be seen as a complaining jerk. If they can get everyone else to also complain about their spouse, then it’s not just them.