That may well have been your intention, but somehow what you wrote did not come off as encouraging and a kindly offering. You might need to choose your words more carefully in the future with an eye for tact if that was your intent.
Now that was meant as constructive criticism and I hope you can take it as such.
It’s true, Diogenes, you did come off harsh there with the “not a billion dollar bequeath” and the “pompous” lines. It was def. more negative feeling than positive encouragement at least.
When I read it and subsequent offer, I thought it was a joke, and was just waiting for the next Doper to come along and say “I’ll donate TWICE as much as what **Diogenes **will offer if you give it to someone in need personally rather than a shelter”. Now I believe you’re more likely to donate as you said and all, but when I first read your comments, it didn’t seem very positive at all.
Just my two cents.
All I can say is that it’s a good thing Br’er Lapin is freakin’ hot. Trying to give away formula. What nerve. Sans hotness, she may have been banned.
Tell yourself this all you want, but your “encouragement” consisted of discouraging a different good deed by ridiculing it and questioning its motives.
I did say it sounded pompous to make people petition for it. I still think it comes off that way, whether it was intended or not.
I also think that giving it to an established, professionally run food bank or women’s shelter will give the stuff a better chance of getting to a needed baby than an internet message board. I was “discouraging” what I think is likely to be a less effective method of making the donation, not the desire to donate in itself.
And I’ve already said that wasn’t my intention. I’ve already admitted that the post wasn’t worded well and came off as snarky.
Regardless, as has already been mentioned, nobody ever said wanting recognition for a good deed is necessarily a bad thing. I never said it was a bad thing, either, I only said that it was the only reason I could think of for rejecting the option of donating to a food shelter. The OP has since given a very good reason for her sentiment, and plenty of other dopers have explained her point even further. My ignorance on the matter at hand has been fought and eliminated.
I had to leave, I don’t actually spend all day arguing on the internet. If you can’t understand how pompous and rude you come off, well fuck, then go ahead and call me angry.
She was already doing a good deed. She didn’t need your fucking advice, she didn’t ask for it, all she asked was if you needed it or knew someone who did. Whether you agreed on her giving it to a Doper was not your Goddam call! And you trying to bribe her by offering to match her donation to a food bank only if she donated to a food bank was manipulative, arrogant and just flat out pissed me off. Who are you or anyone to tell another Doper that they are wrong to want to give to the people here?
You can’t see how that pissed me and others off, so, IMHO, that makes you a thick headed numbskull.
I beg to differ.
That’s asking for advice, retard.
I didn’t say it was my call.
I didn’t do it to be manipulative. I did it in response to Hi, Neighbor’s post #35., ranting about “why can’t you do something nice?” I said, ok, I’ll make the same donation, is that nice enough for you? I didn’t quote the post I was responding to, and I should have because a couple of other posts got in between that one and my response, but that was the fucking context, ok, SelfRighteous Shriekypants? It wasn’t supposed to be manipulative, it was a response to being challenged to “do something nice.” Why do you have such a huge problem with that? I even said I’d make the donation regardless, so whwer’s the manipulation? How is it “arrogant?”
I didn’t tell anybody any such thing, you fucking mental case. Quit making things up.
If you didn’t realise, my post used similar phrasing to yours. See how it comes across as being an accusation? I could now make the same excuses, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way, I only said that it was the only reason I could think of, not saying that it was your actual reason, I’d never presume anything about you etc etc.
I’m not trying to pick on you, I see you’ve got a satisfactory answer to your question and regret how you worded your question, I just wasn’t sure if you quite got just how it came across.
I figured that was what you were going for, but, unlike your post, I qualified my statement in the original post, specifically stating that I was not saying it was the case. Of course, the way I worded that could be taken as sarcasm, the Internet tends to breed that sort of misunderstanding.
I did get how it came across, hence my apology. It was a really unfortunate way to word the post. Everybody sticks his foot in his mouth (or his keyboard) on occasion.
A-Fucking-men! Emphasis added for emphasis.
You really are quite the arrogant little fuck.
Dio, I think you are just a black and white kind of guy. I know you also are pretty sure that your way is the right way, and I don’t think you are being dense on purpose. I also know that I am blunt and sometimes don’t make myself clear as to the point I am trying to make, so I will give you your cites. Your posts are my cites.
Nowhere in Br’er Lapin’s OP does she ask for a damn essay. What she says is
So I could accuse you of lying, or gross exaggerating, but whatever. I did take offense to it. You in fact started the whole “write an essay” bullshit.
You did shit on her for being charitable.
You honestly can’t see how insulting that is?
How about Post 38?
How about here? Not yet? Ok, post #41.
What essay contest?
Now about your “donating”. From above, you say this is your original motivation.
But that’s not quite what you said is it? Post #38
Your donation is contingent on Br’er Lapin’s donation being made to a food bank. I’m sorry that you again don’t see why that is offensive, but it is. Why is it so important to you that Br’er Lapin must give her formula to a food bank instead of what she wanted to do? And if she doesn’t, you won’t donate? WTF? Bit of a control freak are you?
Yes I know that in Post #80, you said you would make the donation anyway, but really Dio, do you not get why Br’er Lapin is offended and pissed off? Sorry if I hurt your little feelings by calling you on your big announcement. :rolleyes:
Just because your wife has some experience at a food bank does not make you an authority on them. Every one is different. Hell, I volunteer at my local one too, so what? Most people that use them are needy, but don’t kid yourself, there is a lot of abuse at them.
Br’er Lapin has some baby formula, she wants to give it to THIS community. What’s the big deal? I cannot believe the clusterfuck it has become.
Because she expressed a couple of politically incorrect thoughts, which are that some people might be looking for handouts out of greed or laziness rather than genuine need, and that private charity might be preferable to institutionalized charity.
Both notions are anathema on the SDMB. Therefore they had to impugn her motives, and to do what they could to discourage her from giving at all.
Plus it’s fun to busybody.
Regards,
Shodan
You’re so far off base you’re playing hockey, Shodan. The majority here is strongly in favor of the idea that most people looking for handouts are greedy or lazy – largely because the idea that the Dope is liberal is a joke. However if you’re looking for somebody to fight for the idea that poverty is not a character flaw, I’m your huckleberry. I’ll even dare to suggest that in a polite society it doesn’t do to go around just saying whatever you want whenever you want regardless of context or appropriateness (which is what ‘anti-PC’ people want, which is a weird contrast with conservative ideals, come to think of it).
Yeah, the internet doesn’t have any greedy people looking for handouts on it. Why take it to an experienced, established organization which knows how to screen applicants and dispense donations when you can throw it up for grabs on the internet.
Incidentally, do you have a problem with religious charities now? Are they not “private” enough for you? You think Catholic Charities and Salvation Army are liberal rackets looking to hand out free cans of baby formula to anyone off the street?
OK - prove it.
Regards,
Shodan
In this thread the strong consensus is for the idea that most people randomly asking for handouts are crooks, liars, lazy, and so on, and that personal charity is much better. If nothing else, it should demonstrate that your hypothesis that there’s a taboo on the Dope against speaking ill of those claiming to need charity is false.
Is the Dope really liberal* or just left of center? There are some truly liberal posters like **Ensign **and **Brain Glutton **but overall the board seems to be left centrist. There are a few areas were it is solidly liberal I guess. Gay Marriage and the numbers of Atheists/non-believers but overall the board is far from a Socialist paradise that I think **BG **and **Ensign **would love to live in.
That is unfair. I’m pretty sure I’m left of BG too! 
Anyway even people like Der Trihs aren’t all that liberal – they just have one or two specific liberal issues on which they tend to be vehement, but otherwise trend strongly reformist and centrist in their general philosophies.
**DT **is basically a crank. I don’t mean that as an insult but a descriptive word where crank = an annoyingly eccentric person ; also : one who is overly enthusiastic about a particular subject or activity