Throwing water on an oil fire: The Redskinettes

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So, we’ve been to sea for four and a half months. It’s 117 degrees here today. Everyone is tired. No one is getting laid. We’re all backed up. I’m flirting like crazy on the board. I run the VIP tour program aboard the ship. And we’ve known about this particular visit for about 40 hours.

Guess who steps off the helo today into this environment?

Fourteen Washington Redskins Cheerleaders!

So I ask the first young lady to take off her helmet and life vest. She’s having a bit of trouble with her vest so as I often do, step up, stoop down to grab the botom of the vest and yank the snaps apart.

There, at eye level, no more than four inches from my face, was one slightly tanned, grade A, large booby. Big ol’ hard nipple and all. Blushing slightly, she shrugged as only a woman can do and tucked it back in the deeply scooped neck of her belly shirt and said, “I’m sorry!”
So I says without missing a beat, “Don’t be. It’s the best boob I’ve seen in four months!”

She cracked up – really gave a belly laugh! My CMDR was mortified! A few of the other cheerleaders thought it was the funniest thing they’d seen and heard on their trip (Though none of them asked me to help them!).

I say she shouldn’t have been wearing a scooped shirt that also exposed her belly on a military flight. Not that I’m really complaining mind you!

“So what do I have to say for myself,” my boss asks me.

“One down, 27 to go?”

Shaking his head, walking away he mutters, “Only you could pull that off and not get in trouble, chief.”

I took that as a compliment.

And guess who’s the head escort for the next day for 'em? Yup, me! So now I get to be around this chick 'til tomorrow afternoon – as well as 13 others! It’s fun being the envy of 4,000+ officers and Sailors!

2

So I guess you won’t be eating your liver now will ya Chief ? You tell those cheerleaders to keep their mitts off ! You are ours !

PS, Have you gotten your eyes back into your head yet ?

3

Hrmph.

Glad I read this post before I ran out to the store to buy a friggin’ card…::grumble grumble, pout, pout::

4

Just curious Chief:

Coast Guard or Navy?

I work under contract for the Coast Guard and just spent 4 lovely days in Portsmouth Virginia visiting some cutters. I, however, saw not one cheerleader nor one boobie.

5

Haze gray and underway.
Never’ve done a puddle cruise.
No groovy racing stripe on my ship’s bow.

You tell me.

6

But that’s beside the point.

Today I saw cheerleader chest,
a rah-rah rack,
a sis-boom-bah booby!

I have finally achieved my one unattained freshman goal!

7

Chief,

You will have “cannon fodder” to recall for the rest of your life. You are a lucky, lucky man.

8

Bravo. Well done. :smiley:

9

Congratulations, Chief, but I somehow fail to see how this would help the “not getting laid for four months” situation… I mean, isn’t it just a reminder of what you’ve been missing?

10

What you just did, ChiefScott, takes back everything I’ve said about you squids! Talk about “target acquisition”, YOU DA MAN!! :smiley:

:::begrudging (but well-earned) salute from ex-flyboy:::

11

I’m with Ayesha. They’d better watch it…you know, we DO have yer address, Chiefy. sweet, innocent grin

12

You’ll see lots more tits in your life, Chief, but there’s only so many times when you manage to say the right line at the right moment, on tempo. Well done!

13

Says TimeBoy

Hence the thread title: “Throwing water on an oil fire,” dude.

Well, they are up this morning. The poor girls are miserable. Some are seasick. I had the distinct pleasure of helping one vomit last night.

Today they are wearing the cheerleader outfits! Wow, what knockers (sorry, wrong thread)! I mean these things look uncomfortable, but the insist they are very, very comfortable.
“We have to do our routines in 'em,” one explained.

Oh, and is there anything cuter that those tiny white sneakers young ladies wear? Especially with stockings sans socks.

OK. I’m outta here for a while. Breakfast with 'em, then pop 'em up to the flight deck for a launch and recovery evolution!!! (Whoo-hoo! Strong wind + short skirts = good time for me!!)

14

Chief see heap big hooters on squaws!

runs out of room making offensive indian war-whoop noises by pounding palm against her mouth while hooting

15

Chief, that sounds like the kind of choice duty that all the other guys are wishing they’d drawn. Little do they realize the scarifice you’ll be making - two days of walking into walls and bumping your head.

16

Actually, beatle, when it comes to bumping into walls, another body part is sticking out farther than my head.

17

Yeah. His elbow.

::grin::

18

Man, I always hated (read: jealous of) PAOs in the Army, got to add Navy PAOs to the list as well…

bowing to ChiefScott I am not worthy, I am not worthy…

you know people are going to wonder how all those little dents got in the walls and why they are a uniform 3’ above the deck.

19

Anybody else have visions of “Apocalypse Now,” where the cheerleaders narrowly escape with their lives via helicopter, with a swarm of horny soldiers grabbing at their heels?

20

Chief, I don’t know why you want to look at real boobies, when we here on the board can show you these,
( * ) ( * )

Aren’t those much better than those yucky flesh ones ?

:: running away as fast as my short little legs can carry me ::