Time for another funny cat thread

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Our kitty pulled one off last night that I’ve gotta share.

There is never a camera around when you need it.

Our resident tabby cat, Andy, likes to spend quality time on the family room table, gazing outside thru the glass patio doors, and sometimes entering kitty hyperspace. Well, he was dozing on the couch last evening, woke up, and decided to change his location from the couch to the table. Now, the table is round, with about a 60" diameter, and with a nicely polished top. It usually has a few magazines and some books resting thereon. The couch is a good six feet away, but Andy likes to make the transition from couch to table in one long jump and, as he can go vertically up a five foot bookcase from a standing start, a six foot horizontal jump is nothing for him.

So he looked over at the table, gathered himself into that coiled spring configuration, and launched. This would have been OK, except that he aimed at, evidently as a landing pad, a copy of “Smithsonian” magazine, which is delivered with a slick cover which subsequent events proved to have basically a zero coefficient of friction with the polished table top.

Andy came down directly on the magazine, and instantly discovered Newton’s First Law of Motion that says “Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.” Since the friction between his landing pad and the table was just about zilch, Andy continued on at essentially full launch velocity, and with huge eyes, paws splayed out, and a straight up tail, sailed off the edge of the table.

With his magazine landing pad now converted into a rather ineffectinve flying carpet, he landed on the floor a good two feet from the table edge. A very surprised cat. My wife swears that she heard him say (translated from cat language) “Holy Sh—”.

I was discussing it with him later, and with a look of disdain he informed me that "I intended to do thatt.

2

Nimbus is the newest addition. He came home about a month ago and has fit in/adjusted nicely. He is BFF’s with Chico, and they do a lot of wrestling. Last week, they decided the top of the 6-foot cat tree was a great place to get into a wrestling match. Nimbus was on the top level and Chico was on the next level down. Leverage. Chico grabbed Nimbus around the neck and dodged sideways. Nimbus was caught off balance and went tail over tuckus over the side. Down 6 feet with no time for correction, he landed on his side. Got up, shook himself off, looked at me and said “Brrt?” and sauntered off as if nothing happened. Chico moved to the top of the tree and I swear he was laughing.

3

If people don’t provide some pictures, I predict mass bannings and thread closures.

4

OK, OK, if Facebook cooperates, crappy mobile photos:

Chico, 3 years old and has a liver shunt, and Nimbus, 2 years old and has an old femoral head injury that makes him walk funny.

They’re silly cats.

5

OK, here is a photo of Andy on top of the bookcase I mentioned in the story. The best I can do - no camera handy during his adventure.

[http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/9740/andyb.jpg](

http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/9740/andyb.jpg

)

You’ll need to enlarge the photo by clicking on it. That seems to work.

6

Yesterday afternoon, one of our cats, Baggins, decided he wanted to go with me into the bathroom, as is his wont. He enjoys looking at the birds that live in there (It’s warmer, and the birds seem to enjoy it) during the Fall and Winter months.

Let me just say that Baggins is a very spoiled boy, about 8 years old, and around 16 pounds. He rules the roost around here, and whatever Baggins wants, Baggins gets. We love him dearly. We have 8 other cats, and we love them, too, but Baggins is THE cat, if you know what I mean.

I was in a hurry. I had a bad case of diarrhea all day long, and I was in no mood/condition to try to keep him from coming in there with me.
After I had finished my deed, I was taking a bit of time pulling up my pants, as I have a blister on my right thumb, and that makes pulling up your pants a bit slower.

I had stepped away from the toilet while trying to pull up my pants, and I didn’t even think about Baggins being in there. Baggins decided that getting up onto the toilet seat would afford him a much better vantage point for looking at the birds.

The next thing I knew, I heard a splashing type sound.
Yes. Baggins had fallen into the toilet. Baggins is not stealth like other cats.
This was exactly the moment when I realized that I had not flushed the toilet, yet. Yeah. NOT good.

Baggins was trying to scramble out of the toilet, and I was standing there, with my pants still down, bare ass in the breeze, laughing my fool head off, trying to keep the cat from jumping out of the toilet, so as not to get diarrhea poo all over the bathroom (and myself) in the process. What else was there to do, but flush. And I did. Baggins was really uncomfortable with that idea. But, the resulting flushing got most of the poo off him, and I washed him off right there in the toilet, in the clean water. This required three more flushes to get him clean enough to put into the bathroom sink, and clean him properly, and dry him with the blowdryer.

Here’s Baggins in all his glory, with his very own antique rhinestone collar (It actually was an old necklace that belonged to my grandma, that we fixed up for Baggins. Because he’s special, damnit.)
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a186/GinaHendrixson/FurBabies/blingin.jpg

7

You inflicted indignity on that cat? I strongly suggest you learn to sleep with one eye open…

8

Oakminster, naw. He’s worn that collar for several years. He could get out of it if he wants to, as it’s quite loose. He chooses to wear it, I guess. I told you he was special! :smiley:

9

Well, I didn’t have a camera on me when this happened, so I’ll have to take my chances on being ostracized.

A couple of months back I was walking through my apartment complex, and a guy was walking his two dogs, a golden lab and a Boston terrier, on those retractable leashes. Suddenly the big guy lets out a “wuf” and goes bounding up to a bay window at the end of one of the buildings. By the time he got there, I realized there was a cat asleep on the inside.

The dog just sat under the cat and stared up at him, without making a sound. After a few seconds the cat woke up, and somehow managed to leap into the air without first getting his feet under him, spinning from his side to the upright position in mid-air. About that time the little dog arrived on the scene, and the lab got bored and wandered off.

The little guy put his paws up on the wall and his nose up against the bottom of the glass, and commenced barking. The cat just sat directly above him, taking swings. Of course, all he managed to do was smack the glass.

All of this happened as I was walking by, and there were several other people about. All of us were cracking up.

As I came back through on the return trip, about ten minutes later, the dogs were gone, but kitty was still there, sitting in his window, calmly surveying his surroundings.

10

my dear departed murphy proved to be more than a little entertaining one evening not long after christmas a number of years ago.

i had friends over one evening for drinks and general merriment, part of which included a christmas gift one of them had received, consisting of a remote-controlled robot named robbie (original, no?). it was basically an inflatable something or other glued onto a roomba. or close enough for the purposes of this narrative.

we had fun with it for a while, then eventually set aside the remote in favor of more merriment.

shortly thereafter, in wanders murphy, who was something of an attention hound, despite being a cat. he loved people and loved parties even more.

so, after strolling about for a bit, accepting pettings from the guests and nibbles from the hors d ‘oeuvres available, he sits down for a face wash.

directly in front of robbie.

someone took note of this and quickly scooped up the remote.

while we watched, trying not to bust a gut from trying to control our laughing, stealthily, robbie rolled forward a tiny bit at a time, closed in on my unsuspecting feline. oblivious, murph continued his ablutions.

the very split second robbie nudged him, murphy not only went directly airborne from a sitting position, we swore up and down the cat levitated himself to three feet in the air and then turned himself inside out twice before becoming reacquainted with gravity.

after he inspected the offender, coming to a decision that the whatever it was wasn’t a threat to him after all, he turned and gave us the dirtiest look possible for a cat to give a human, and then strolled off, tail ramrod-straight in the air.

he didn’t speak to me for days after. :smiley: