I dont get it. What’s the point in time tables…the…“I only have sex 3 months into a relationship”…“it takes a year for me to know someone before I call them boyfriend” or…“I don’t have anyone over till I’ve known them a month” Some say it’s to ensure proper progression of the course of relating to a prospective boy/girlfriend without rushing things. SENTIMENTAL HOGWASH! In this day and age of instant gratification, we want it all our way and we want it now! I say act upon what U feel, and don’t be governed by a 3 month rule or whatever.
I like you already.
Set timetables are rather silly. I generally don’t go out with someone I haven’t already known for a little while, anyway.
A girl who says she must wait a while will change her mind when you split, and hump the first wino she bumps into as rebound sex. If you don’t believe me, just hang out a day as a wino. You have to beat the heartbroken girls off with a stick!
Timetables are for people who don’t trust themselves to make decisions.
So, she wouldn’t sleep with you on the first date, huh? My sympathies.
I agree with Geobabe. One of the most important things to remember about getting to know someone and falling in love is that there are no hard and fast rules; you have to address issues as they arise, not schedule your feelings and actions. If more people would recognize that, I think there would be a lot more happy people.
I must point out that pretending you have hard and fast rules may well be a way to turn someone down without making it seem personal. This is especially true if you haven’t totally ruled out the idea of having sex with them, but you don’t want to decide right this minute, and they strike you as the type who will take “not tonight” as “never with you, you scum-sucking goat felcher.” An objective rule made up on the spot allows everyone to save face.
I base my rules on experience. So far, I’ve come up with two. 1) Never propose marriage on acid. 2) If you marry an itenerant Gypsy Tarot card reader with two kids, in order to help her get food stamps, you will get EVERYTHING you deserve.
Otherwise, Yeah, these seemingly objective rules are mostly face saving, and decision off-putting. My pattern has been “I’m ready to fall in love again, you’ll do, let’s go!”
“Ruefully rubbing the tattered shirtcuffs, where he used to keep his heart…”
Um, he wouldn’t sleep with him, actually, as I know both participants IRL. 
Anybody with hard and fast rules like that usually has some issue (or, perhaps, an entire subscription), and, really, how can one make rules about all relationships when all relationships are, at their core, different? No dynamics between two people are going to be exactly the same as those between two other people.
Then again, he might know what works for him. (But, then again, knowing him… well, it might be time for him to renew that subscription!)
Esprix
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*Originally posted by Esprix *
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Originally posted by Stoid
Um, he wouldn’t sleep with him, actually, as I know both participants IRL.
Thanx for the outting Esprix…sheesh. Yes…I’m GAY!! Yay me!! Where’s my chiffon?!
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*Originally posted by Esprix *
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Maybe the rule is not hard-and-fast but he is saying that it is in order to spare the other person’s feelings, or to minimize arguing over the rule. It can be easier to lay down an unflexible rule than it is to say “just because.”
I have a set time table for sex. ** NEVER ** have it on the third date. First,second, and fifth are fine for me. But the 3rd?. Pleeez! Don’t even ask about the fourth date…
Huh. My friend asked me today to go out drinking with him, and I said “Give me one good reason . . .”
Izzat when you eat 'em? You spiders are vicious in the sack . . .