I know that feeling. Sometimes I will casually reveal something that happened to me as a kid or young adult and my wife is horrified. To me, that was just my life and I got through it, no big deal. (Or at least I’ve tried to make it no big deal so I can move on with my life.) I guess for my wife hearing that crap for the first time it’s shocking, while I’ve had decades to process and deal with it.
I am by nature a pretty open person, and I have been trying to be careful to keep a lid on some of my personal stuff to people in real life, because people don’t always react well when I overshare.
I’m a very happy person and I like where my life is at, and my past is what it is. (Or some elements of my present as well, if I’m honest.) It’s only when I talk to other people, that is when it’s like a mirror is held up to me and I feel like I should feel bad for myself.
Well I don’t know if THAT’s the key takeaway there, but I have had issues with oversharing in the past. When I do it these days it’s just online and then I feel guilty and bad about myself. I try not to bother people I actually know with my trauma. But in therapy I am constantly learning about how it affects me in the present, and while great progress has been made, it’s just like there’s always something I have to deal with because if I don’t deal with it, it’s going to create a problem in my life. One thing I am sort of learning to do is reach out to people not necessarily with my problem but just in general. So if I’m feeling depressed or upset about something, I may connect with a friend and ask how they are doing, which makes me feel somewhat useful, IOW I have learned that it’s not necessary to talk about The Thing in order for social connections to help me cope with it.
In my therapist’s case, we’ve been working together for quite some time in EMDR. Prior to doing the actual bilateral stimulation, we’ve been doing an insane amount of what she calls “resourcing” which is basically building self-efficacy for when we get into the deep and uncomfortable work. It’s been very effective and that alone has improved my life in a lot of ways. But she intentionally did not pry into the details of my trauma during that period of time (a period of a couple years.) But today we brought out a specific memory that is particularly core to some stuff going on with me right now, but in order to set up that memory I had to drop some other relevant details, and I think she was kind of shocked. And I’ve been pretty shaken up myself. I’ll probably feel better in the morning.
Some dipshit called in bomb threats to the libraries in my town. The city decided the way to notify people is though the tornado sirens, which have been going off for over an hour!!!
Well what I was trying to say is I used to be that person sharing personal details during small talk, I think it’s called trauma dumping these days. It’s actually not that uncommon with people with PTSD. So give yourself some grace. And it’s not all bad. I’ve met some great people over the years thinking I’ve said more than I should have said, but if I hadn’t said it, I wouldn’t have them as friends.
I had a good cry and a little chat with my husband, so I’m feeling a bit better.
(I can’t help but mention - I’m reading A Murder is Announced by Agatha Christie, and there is this foreign maid who is always bringing up the fact that her whole family was killed and she had to flee her home country as a refugee, and everyone in the book is like, “Yes, yes, you’re always saying that.” I can’t tell who the joke is supposed to be on, but if my whole family was killed in political violence, I’d probably be talking about it a lot!)
I don’t got to McDs very much at all, but this will likely put an end to even those rare visits like when I’m on a road trip.
Lately it feels like businesses are doing everything they can to take away stuff I like. A certain chicken restaurant decided a while ago not to put out napkins. No napkins! At a chicken restaurant, where you generally eat with your damn hands! Haven’t been there since.
I feel like more and more, being a customer (everywhere, not just restaurants) means fighting to keep businesses from up selling, not to get my email address or phone number, while they dismantle the draws I went there for in the first place.
Sitting in an airport, flight delayed three hours, gate agent has no more information than the phone app does and there are no more flights out tonight. This seems to happen to me every time I fly this particular airline - morning flights are OK but evening flights end up a clusterfuck. And I’m lucky; I’m just flying home but a bunch of passengers are missing a connecting flight to Amsterdam. But I do have to be in court first thing in the am, which is why I booked this flight tonight. Now I’ll get home at 1 am and court will be a bigger ordeal than it already is.
Nothing particularly unusual or amusing but it’s infuriating and stressful to be stuck hours from home and be told “sorry, we don’t know anything and can’t do anything, maybe we’ll know something in a few hours, probably too late to get another flight tonight anyway, good luck with that.”
I wa playing Star Trek Timelines and I checked into chat. There was a full-on PEDO in there spouting NAMBLA crap about how age shouldn’t be applied to kids re: sexual relations etc. etc.
Does anyone know of any agency that I can report that to ( with screen shots ) ?
Thank you for this. What a great name for it. I’ve done it. I have an acquaintance who has done it ad nauseum. That said, she has leveraged it into a career as a counselor, so good for her. And she has made great progress.
re jacks rant about jimmy buffet :lol somedays that’s all you want in music tho
And it is even worse when you suggest 5 different things and they don’t want any of them … but ask them what they want its “don’t know” Those days are when they end up getting themselves a bowl of cereal…l
I posted a couple weeks ago about a FedEx package that was left in the middle of my yard. The delivery picture was a close-up of a box. Ok, fine, shit happens. Then yesterday I got another box and it was left in my driveway by the rear wheel of my car. I don’t even know what the delivery picture was - some black, gray and red abstract drawing. So it’s got to be the same driver, right? Just putting boxes anywhere except the porch and using stock photos for proof of delivery.
Well, for the first time I answered the delivery survey. It even asked if I was sure I wanted to give one star (you can’t give 0). I was and told them why. Then I went back and did the survey for the last delivery, too. That’ll show 'em. Or maybe my next package will be in the street. Guess I’ll see.
I absolutely love ours! Which is kind of funny because I’ve just started using it. The woman/friend who has been cleaning for us weekly has retired after a back injury. Rather than find someone else, we’ve divided up the housework she used to do. I do the vacuuming now (it was embarrassing because I didn’t know where the shark was kept, nor how to operate it).
I also clean the kitchen. My gf does everything else
When Pennsylvania first set up a medical marijuana program I visited a doctor to see if I qualified. At the time anxiety (which everyone has to some degree) was not yet an accepted problem, so I had low expectations.
The doctor told me at my age (I was 60) it was probable that I qualified under a PTSD diagnosis. She talked with me for about 30 minutes about things that had happened to me and sure enough I (and likely you) have PTSD.
I didn’t name the airline just to avoid possibly upsetting some of our resident airline pilots like @LSLGuy whose posts I admire greatly, in case they work for that company. I know these kinds of things are not their fault. But in my head I refer to this airline as “F…ing D…”.
We’ve got our work cut out for us in the Weasel household. My husband has 13 food allergies and my son is extremely adverse to most foods, he’s even adverse to other people eating things around him. Then my son gets upset when I offer him the same things every day. It’s like, kid, if you were willing to eat some other things, you’d have more options. That’s how this works. I think he has ARFID so that’s going on the list of evaluations we still need. I can only imagine what his teachers think about his packed lunches, but they are special Ed so they probably are used to it.
