To be jealous, or not to be jealous

Question for the ladies: Do you prefer guys with possessive or permissive tendencies when it comes to other men giving you attention? For example, when being hit on by another guy, would you prefer your partner to react with “stay away from my girlfriend” jealousy, or “look all you want, but she’s going home with me” confidence?

And the second question. Does your stated preference closely match your actual relationship history (i.e. do you prefer confident guys but more often end up with jealous guys)?

Jealousy sucks. My husband agrees. If someone is flirting with your significant other, you should be proud!

Confidence over jealousy is way sexier.

Concurring w/ both; when I’ve run into the jealous date/boyfriend reaction it’s been a nail in the coffin. It happened once on the way from a wedding to a reception and I very nearly sent him dateless to it.

I dated a guy who was the jealous type. It really sucked. Even though I told him ahead of time I had guy friends and wasn’t going to give them up. It was really tiring.

After that most of the guys I date were totally confident and not jealous. One guy didn’t do the jealousy thing, but it hurt his feelings that I didn’t hate it when other guys were attracted to me. Whatever.

I don’t think Suburban Plankton has a jealous bone in his body. He’s even pointed out to me when guys have checked me out. I’ve done the same to him. It doesn’t bother me one bit if someone is flirting with him. I think it’s cute.

Over-the-top jealousy makes me feel like I’m living in a Lifetime movie. I had this one boyfriend once who started saying, “You must be giving it to someone else then” if I EVER didn’t want to have sex for any reason (and usually the reason was that he was being an asshole). I don’t even know how to take that seriously enough to get mad about it.

Jealousy is a significant turnoff. For me.

I have, however, heard people state that if their SO isn’t jealous it means they don’t care about them. What? I simply will not tolerate it.

I don’t like jealousy; but on the other hand I am insecure enough to want my guy to notice someone flirting with me. I don’t want him to act the ass or do anything, but a comment is nice.

Because I am insecure, I have always struggled with being jealous. I haven’t learned not to feel it, but I have learned to keep it to myself and not burden my partner with it. At least, not often and usually in a joking manner.

I get hit on a lot. I’m also interested in people in a general social-scientist sort of way, and inclined to be friendly towards anyone who hasn’t done anything to creep me out. Any boyfriend who couldn’t be smug that I was attached to him, or just not think to register it as a thing when I talked to other people, would not be my boyfriend for long.