To My Coworker: Yes, I'm Aware We're Low on Chocolate

I can’t bring myself to pour on the ire this requires, but I’m certain that, given the topic, my fellow Dopers can help me out.

Not long after I started working for my current employer, I took to keeping a small jar on my desk filled with chocolate in various forms, usually Hershey’s Kisses. Anyone who wants to is welcome to a piece, especially since my immediate boss and the CEO are chocoholics, and I was pretty good at keeping it replenished. Three and a half weeks ago, however, I injured my knee and I’ve been on crutches ever since. This makes grocery shopping difficult to do unassisted. Actually, last night was the first time I was allowed by my friends to go to the store on my own and even then, it was with a promise that I would limit myself to essentials and stop shopping if my knee started hurting too badly. When I have gone shopping with friends, I’ve kept things light because I don’t want to presume on them too much, which means luxuries are out. I haven’t even bought the usual six-pack of cola I because it’s cheaper than buying it from the vending machine at work. I have chocolate at home; they sell candy bars in the vending machines at work; therefore, I haven’t bought chocolate for the jar.

Yesterday, the supply on my desk was down to one last kiss, the one no one wants to take lest he or she appear rude. Sure enough, a coworker of mine, one who’s constantly on a diet but who raids the jar at least once a week commented on it. Since I’d been trying to figure out if I could manage to buy bread for sandwiches that evening, I gently pointed out to her that it hadn’t been easy for me to buy groceries and chocolate wasn’t high on the list. She’s a nice person, so I left it at that.

Here’s what I wanted to say: if you want chocolate, buy it yourself. I can’t. OK, technically, I can, but right now I’ve got higher priorities. The week of work I missed because of this knee put a serious dent in my budget since I wasn’t paid for it. Chocolate, much as I would like to say otherwise, is a luxury, especially when I’m not the one eating the majority of it. I’m cranky and easily frustrated because I can’t walk, do grocery shopping, laundry, or a dozen other basic things easily. Buy your own bloody chocolate! For now, the jar will remain empty until I can go grocery shopping without using a cane or crutches and without being in severe pain afterwards. My fellow is taking me for a full grocery shop on Wednesday; even though he’s as big a chocoholic as I am, office chocolate isn’t on the list.


There’s no hope for the human race. Seriously.

It’s your own fault for leaving community chocolate lying about. Do it once in a while and people look upon it as a nice treat and a surprise. Do it all the time and people look upon it as an entitlement and will become angered if the flow is interrupted. Hell, I had people bitch one Halloween because they didn’t like the selection of free candy I put out on my desk. next year I didn’t put out any candy and people bitched about that. I pretty much stopped with the free stuff after that.

Pavlov’s dogs, Siege.

True. I may use this as an excuse to stop the community chocolate completely. I just love how it was the coworker who’s on Weight Watchers and constantly fussing about how many points are in food who pointed out the lack of chocolate. :rolleyes:


Oh, had this happen to me and it pissed me off - we had a communal jar that I took responsibility for filling, but everyone threw me a few coins when I went to fill it. Except this one guy. Who ate lots. He began to see it as a bit of a joke, was totally aware he never contributed, and eventually I stopped bothering. And just had my own private supply for when people came to visit me at my desxk. Wanker. 5 years later and I still hate him - thanks for reminding me and allowing me to vent!

Since not one of your colleagues has been generous or thoughtful enough to replenish it for you, I’d say this is a good idea. If they comment about this once you are better just say you got out of the habit of eating chocolate when you couldn’t get out to buy some. I’m really surprised that not one of them has brought in chocolate for you.

I’m now reminded of the meaness of several of my colleagues when it comes to buying drinks. Especially on when on conferences, and either I or the boss picks up the tab, none of the rest make a contibution and then they go ahead and claim for it anyway :mad:

That’s pretty much how it happened in our office, too. Don’t like what I choose? Bring your own. Can’t be bothered? Quitcher whining.

The only time I leave candy out now is when it’s left over from a meeting, and the company pays for that. And if it’s a variety pack, I pick out what I want and leave the dregs for the scavengers!

slips up on jar while the argument rages, strolls away munching last kiss

Your co-workers suck–they should have been bringing you candy to fill the bowl while you are injured.

I must work with the best people ever. I keep Jelly Bellys and Tootsie Pops out for anyone who wanders by. If I’m out of the office for a few days and the Jelly Belly bowl runs empty, I usually come back to a new container of Jelly Bellys–this has happened at least half a dozen times, the most recent just last week. Other folks just come up and give me money periodically.

I do get occasional *faux * gripes about not having the correct flavors left, but other than that everyone seems very appreciative of the free candy. One more reason to be thankful that I fell into this job.

One Hershey’s Kiss is one point. She may well allow herself three or four ‘luxury’ points.

Still, she should be bringing them in herself if she sees it’s empty.

I empathise completely with your plight. I am one of those sorry few who can’t stop myself from handing out chocolate to random acquaintances, just because the looks of shining gratitude on some of those faces are the ambrosia and nectar of my existence. Yet always there are the people who come to expect my chocolate, to anxiously ask after it each day, and to complain bitterly when I inform them that I had better things to do that morning than purchase chocolate for other people. I have even once purchased a type of chocolate which I knew one of those people particularly enjoyed, in hopes of seeing her light up again (as I had not been giving out chocolate of any kind for some time), only to be informed that she wasn’t hungry that day and didn’t want any, thank you very much. This from the person who had for the past several weeks been anxiously asking after the chocolate supply. What does it take to keep my friends happy?

Of course I bear her no ill will for it; it’s just rather frustrating.

10 boxes of chocolate Ex-Lax

1 Hershey kiss mold and 1 box of foil

Revenge. The sweetest treat of all

Especially if it is once a week, and one or two pieces. Some folk, that minor indulgence is something to look forward to and gets them thru another couple of days of dieting. “Ah, it’s Tuesday - or Choco-day!”

But don’t you see? You are messing with her carefully constructed House of Denial!
She is on WW, but is figuring that filching from your choco stash doesn’t “count” in some non-physiological way. You are effing up her system, GF! How dare you!

I would still bring choc to work-and keep it in my desk, just for moi.

Also, if it is pointed out to you that “you dont’ have that jar of Kisses anymore”, I would reply–“yeah, I’m not your monkey.” but that might be a wee hostile…

Hmmm … If it wasn’t for the money situation, you know what might be funny? Go ahead and refill the chocolate: With a single chocolate bar. The biggest, hugest, weightiest chocolate bar available to man. I have no idea how big this might be, but I think it would be hilarious to see Miss Weight Watcher confronted with a ten pound slab of chocolate. Go ahead, bitch, rationalize that!!! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Are the supply of chocolate is not to be considered lightly. Most companies have policys against supplying Heroin or Cocane to co-workers so the option for us psychoterrorists to control the company from a lowly position is through the supply of chocolate or doughnuts. Simply by controling the supply of chocolate to co-workers you can control the entire corporate structure without being noticed. Soon the fools will gain a pavlovian reliance on you chocolate providing and they will be helpless from doing whatever you ask of them for fear of losing their daily chocolate fix. Should your control ever be challenged you can provide for a short while healthy snacks, the challengers will be reduced to pittyful wrecks until you mercyfully replace the chocolate supply.

Do they even make the chocolate Ex-Lax anymore? I thought I read somewhere they didn’t.

I bet it’s gone because it’s just not a great idea to make a medicine look and taste like candy, expecially if there’s young kids in the house.

Don’t know why I didn’t think to Google for it before, but yeah, they still sell it:

Because they’ll go for it… then go FROM it? ::ducks::