Community Candy Jar Pigs

The BBQ Pit
1

So we have an Admin. Asst., “Ellen,” who’s the heart of our department. It is she who circulates birthday cards and sends flowers if your dad dies and puts balloons in your office if you’re retiring. You know the type. She is also the implementer and owner of the Community Candy Jar (CCJ). We love the candy jar.

I’ll visit the CCJ once, sometimes twice a day if I’m feeling really naughty. If it’s filled with the good stuff (chocolate) I’ll limit myself to one. If it’s the 2nd tier candy (Mary Janes or Tootsie Rolls) I might take two. But, having not been raised in a barn, I never take more than that. It’s a community candy jar, for pete’s sake. I also occasionally contribute money to the CCJ fund and/or personally bring in bags of candy to fill the jar. Ellen has never asked anyone for money, but anyone with half a brain would realize that candy for 30 people isn’t cheap, and will toss in a buck or two into the candy jar every now and then. And all is good.

Anywho, the CCJ was a source of good will and joy for Ellen (and for all of us) for years, until about 6 months ago. That’s when Steve started in our department. Steve is a nice guy except for one glaring flaw: He’s a CCJ pig. By pig, I mean that Steve doesn’t limit himself to one or two pieces a day. He doesn’t even limit himself to a dozen pieces a day. No, he has the audacity to take HANDFULS of candy SEVERAL times a day. At first it was kind of funny. “What’s up with the new guy?” Then it became annoying and finally it’s become “a problem,” even to Ellen who has a realllllllllly long fuse. Today was the last straw.

The jar had been 3/4 filled with 2nd tier candy when I came in this morning, armed with 2 bags of Dove Dark Miniatures, which besides being a darn fine little treat, happens to be Ellen’s favorite candy. (What can I say? I’m a suck-up.) Ellen filled the remaining 1/4 of the jar with the Dove bars and then shook it up a bit to mix up the candy.

After we filled the jar, Steve sauntered over for his early early morning visit to the CCJ, as opposed to his mid early morning visit. As per usual, Steve grabbed a handful of candy. He then said, “Ooh, Dove bars! Those are my favorite.” Ellen replied, “Mine, too.” A half hour later, she returned from a bathroom break to find Steve pilfering through the jar again. But instead of just grabbing the usual handful, he was actually picking through the jar and only taking the Dove bars. Which are $2.50 for a bag of 25. Which Ellen had just told him were HER favorites.

What the hell is wrong with some people? How can one person be so self-centered? He is a Band III manager, which means he makes THREE times what Ellen makes. We have a fully stocked C store, which carries every candy bar you could ever want. What excuse could anyone have for showing such ill manners, for not exercising basic courtesy to his co-worker? Does he think that Ellen is such a schlep that she doesn’t mind forking out hundreds of dollars each year to keep him in candy?

Eve was so livid that she has vowed to dispense with the CCJ because of one greedy pig. Honestly, we don’t blame her. Thanks, Steve.

2

I was the candy jar person too. I’d spend $20 a week easy – Hershey’s Miniatures, Reese’s mini-cups, flavored kisses, Brach’s mints, Werther’s, etc. Just like at your place, people would contribute money or candy, and just like at your place, some people were pigs.

I finally told them “Hey! It’s okay to contribute!” Shamed them, and they shaped right up.

Is it possible that Steve thinks the company is providing the candy?

3

I have a big goldfish bowl of candy in my office, that are basically free for all takers. Nobody ever buys anything (which is the way I like it.) I keep it full of Reeses peanut butter cups, Krackels, Goodbars, and kisses.

One time I came in in the morning the day after I filled it, and every single Krackel bar was gone. Every single one. I look around the office and sure enough this guy has a bowl on his desk full of Krackels. I confront him, and he admits readily that he took them all.

It turns out that he somehow thought that these candies were being supplied by the company and that I was being an unfair manager by hoarding them all in my office, so he thought he’d liberate his favorites for the common good.

He is otherwise a perfectly reasonable and nice guy and a great employee. He was just offended to see me hoarding Krackels. I said I understood his feelings. During lunch I went to Walmart and bought $20 worth of Krackels and gave them all to him except for one bag to replace what was in my jar.

I swear, he would come around two days later and swipe individual Krackels from my jar even though I had just given him about a thousand.

I can kind of forgive this. What I don’t like are the sneak attackers who will wait until I’m in the bathroom and descend on the jar, or the people who will come in with some pretense of a fabricated question to justify their visit to the candy jar.
Just take a freakin’ candy!

Anyway, as to your problem. What I recommend is that you initiate a modified Scylla solution. Go out to Walmart and buy a bowl and $20.00 worth of Dove bars. Walk over to where the jerk sits and smile and give him the bowl. Fill it to the top with Dove bars. Give him the extra bags. Now deliver this speech.

"We notice how much you like the community candy jar, and so we thought we would give you your own so we can have them in different parts of the office. We’ve filled it for you the first time, and after this it’s your responsibility to keep it full. This way their is no need for you to ever take anything from Ellen’s jar ever again.

Don’t worry. It won’t cost you much if anything to keep it full. Most people understand that if they take candy they should put money in once in a while.

Do you understand?"

Give him a big smile as you make this speech.

I guarrantee you the look on his face as he goes from delight to chagrin, to shame, to slightly seething will make it the best $20 you ever spent.
-Scylla
Keeper of the office candy jar for 15 years

4

Shit, if he is a Band III (whatever that is) manager, he’s got to know that companies don’t do this. Even if it the company were providing it, he’s being a pig.

Still, someone has got to talk to the little shit.

Who the fuck are these people? They’re the same ones who dig through the salad bowls to collect all the olives 'cuz they want to only eat lives, and leave everything behind 'cuz no one else could possible want even one olive. Or the guys who snuff down all the pizza at a party, even though there’s clearly about three pieces each and they have six. WTF?

5

Sorry for the hijak, but if there were any justice in the world people like this would be pulling down the big salaries rather than the CEOs. A good admin/office manager/what-ever can make an office a great place to work rather than drudgery.

I had a great admin that I really miss. If I ever win the lottery she is getting a new house.

6

I worked with one of those types just a few months ago. This guy is a pig, in all meanings of the word. He’s massively overweight to the point that he’s diabetic, can barely walk, is an asshole, incompetent at his job, and misogynistic. Really, one of the poorest excuses for a human being I’ve ever met. And yes, he’s been promoted to management. I had to quit when I saw that one coming.

Anyway, come Christmas, when people would bring in food and other companies would sent tins of popcorn or gift baskets, you’d see Bill start circling around the goodies. If it was sealed or wrapped - like gift baskets often are - he’d pass it a few times and check it out. Then he’d finally ask if he could open it. Once opened, he’d dig through and pull out his favorites.

I once saw him pull out a block of cheese, take it to his desk, and eat the whole thing. He’d do the same with boxes of cookies. Things just… disappeared. Eventually people just stopped bringing in shared goodies. It’s too bad when one person causes everyone to miss out on the homemade cookies :frowning:

7

I’m chiming in to vote for saying something to him - even if the sweet admin assistant decides to end the candy jar, jerk-face should know that it is all his fault.

I hate greedy people!

8

No, because several times he’s mentioned that he needs to go to Costco and get a bag. Of course, that has never happened.

Or maybe he has actually bought it but it never makes it the three miles to the office. :stuck_out_tongue:

Even if the company did pony up for the candy, it’s still pretty damn nervy to take all the good chocolate.

I can’t believe my blood pressure is up over chocolate bars.

9

Well, they certainly sound like bad people, but I’m not sure they’re trying to eat lives!

10

You know, that’s all good in theory, but I just don’t have it in me to confront him. Like I said, aside from this obvious flaw, he really is a nice guy.

11

Yeah, I don’t know why some otherwise perfectly normal people are deranged as regards candy bowl ettiquete.

You could just give him the bowl and the candies without the confrontation and he’d probably get the message.

12

Steve is really rude and inconsiderate. Thankfully at our office we have a very brash long term worker that would confront him and confront him thoroughly. When she got done, he would either stop, or bring in a lot of candy. I saw her do it once to a VP. It was a wonderful sight. Incidentally, she is still here and he is gone. However this VP was not all that bad, he actually got her a promotion as she is very good at what she does.

I feel a little guilty whenever I take something from the community food and I keep a Pretzel bucket on my desk and help to refill the chocolate jar of my co-worker.

Jim

13

While personally I’m a 2x4 applied between the eyes to get the point across type of person, (Yes, that’s about the only way I can take a hint as well.) someone might drop an anonymous note in hs mailbox or on his desk.

14

I’m surprised how widespread this is. I’ve been CCJ guy at several jobs and have thought of doing a CCJ etiquette thread but didn’t think anybody would understand it.

The ones who piss me off (and the reason I no longer do it) are the ones who’ll walk in, go through it, take out the pieces they want, and not even say thanks. The only time I was pissed enough to say something about it, though, was when people entered my office (door closed but not locked) to help themselves.

And I think one person brought a refill over the couple of years. (Most were moderate enough that I didn’t mind- a piece every few days- but some were daily, and it’s hard to tell your boss “CONTRIBUTE OR STOP!”

I also used to keep a first aid box- bandaids, aspirin, anti-diarrheal (something EVERYBODY should keep at work- may only come in handy once in 5 years, but trust me- on that 5 years you want it close at hand) and Zantac type stuff. It got nearly picked clean over a 1 year period. I still kept it but only in my locked desk and I’d volunteer it if somebody needed it.

Some “people are stupid, obnoxious, or daft”. And a disproportionate number work in I.T…

15

Note hell. I’d go with a mousetrap containing a a Dove wrapper. Or a couple of medium sized scorpions in his desk drawer over a Dove wrapper.

16

Does anybody else here have the Jehova’s Witness Coworker that very tightly clings to the commandment of Thou Shalt Not Participate In Holiday Fun when it comes to bringing food in, but doesn’t mind eating (A LOT) of the food that others have brought in to celebrate things?

17

Strangely we have a Jehovah’s Witness and she politely does not attend these functions and she brings in candy for the same CCJ I do. If I bring in a cake or danishes, she’ll take some, because she knows I am just bring stuff in to enjoy, not to celebrate anything. She passes on the holiday and birthday stuff.

Jim

18

[hijack]
I can understand passing on holiday stuff if her religion doesn’t celebrate them, but do Jehovah’s Witnesses not celebrate birthdays? This is not intended to be snarky - I honestly do not know.
[/hijack]

19

Yipes. Besides being a selfish rat bastard, Steve is probably heading for some significant medical problems with obesity or diabetes in the future if he keeps this up. Several handfuls of chocolate bars per day? Does your company provide medical insurance?

Maybe Ellen should discontinue the CCJ and if Steve asks about it, sweetly tell him that the company healthcare liaison advised against it because “some people” were overindulging in candy to such an extent that it was unhealthy.

20

Good question, I don’t know, I never asked. Someone else will probably know.