To my dear and loving family...

The BBQ Pit
1

Hmm… how should I start this since I have this extreme urge to bitch at all of them at the same time. Guess I’ll start with my parents…

Mom, I understand that you love me and are concerned about the fact that after my afternoon bike ride, I go down to my room where I put on my music, which I don’t think you mind, in spite of all the substances that can be associated with the Grateful Dead, Pink Floyd, and Bob Dylan and almost every other band i listen too, and I go on the internet and talk with friends and read the Straightdope along with a couple other message boards, but please do you have to come down here and try and talk to me? Whenever I try and talk to you you’re always busy with some shit and can’t talk, but when you want to talk to me you expect me to be all ears, and then get annoyed with my sullen politeness. As for your total antidrug speeches and opinions: Fuck that! Fuck those dumbass ads that tell you to talk to me about drugs and shit! You constantly telling me not to drugs at one level only makes me want to use them out of spite for you. As for my grades, I am sorry that I have a psychotic literature teacher that has to give very wide parameters for assignments then decide after you turn it in to grade it based on something totally different. I am sorry that my math teacher blames the class instead of himself when 2/3 of the class fail the damn tests, and then threatens to write me up when I ask him how this many people failing his tests has nothing to do with him. I also wish you wouldn’t get mad at my dad whenever he buys me something. I’m sorry, but that just pisses me off. This may make me sound greed or whatever, but he’s trying to be nice to me by getting me blank CDs and other small things. It must feel really shitty to have to put up with that when you try and be nice to your son. I don’t hate you; I in fact love you, but it’s really beginning to piss me off.

Dad, You’re a cool guy. You do alot of nice things that you don’t have to. The main bitches I have with you is my grades, and when you get into one of your moods where you’re just too pissed off to even talk to. You’re lenient about things like drugs, and would understand if you ever caught me smoking pot, or you would pay for a cab if I got too drunk to get home. However, stop bitching about my grades I’m trying my best, but I have already said how I feel about my teachers, and also calm down just because something else is pissing you off don’t take it out on me.

(my younger sister), I really feel guilty about this some times, but some times just the sound of your voice is too much. That’s why I go in my room. So I won’t have to deal with you, but then you have to come down and demand that I open the door just so you can play on my chin up bar. While I enjoy playing cards with you and dad, it still bugs me that you can’t remember which one is a spade. You can really get on my nerves some times, but you really aren’t a bad person; I think it’s just me.

(my older sister), you fucking rock! You do alot for me, and you’re there for me when I need someone to talk to. You took me to that Cure concert where I smoked bud for the first time. You take me to parties, and I think your friends are really cool. You hook me up when I want to buy some bud, which I do not do often. Still that does not give you an excuse to do what you do. Heroin is serious shit, and I can understand trying it once, but if I find out that you ever start doing habitually, even for the short 3 week period that you were, I will narc on you. I will feel no guilt about this. Also, you did not work your ass off to graduate high school early just to end up at community college. Get yourself together, with your brain you could do so much more. I think you’re alot of fun to be around, but please don’t end up like I know some of your friends will end up.

Damn I feel better already.

2

I completely understand all your bitches.

The only thing I can possibly add is that the only thing worse than being a teenager, is being an adult.

Good luck.

3

and the only thing worse than that is being on fire.

and the only thing worse than that is being immortal, and trapped in a small, grey box that is evenly lit and is not warm or cold. just pure, unrelenting bordom into eternity.

and the only thing worse than that is waffles.

damn waffles.

[sub] ps; sorry about breaking the mood, but i had to get it out of my system. sorry.[/sub]

4

Man, I hate to be the one to come in and be an ass, but…

so you say your grades are completely the fault of your teachers? Right. And even if they are, what’s to say that when you are gainfully employed in the “real world” some day, you won’t have a boss who isn’t clear about your responsibilities and blames you when you don’t get done what he/she wants? Do you say, “forget this, my boss sucks,” or do you say, “gee, if I don’t want to get fired, maybe I’d better change my methods, or learn what my boss does expect.”?

Your folks have a right to be concerned.

5

Sorry for not clarifying that, some of my grades are my fault. When I don’t do the work, and don’t know what the hell I’m doing on a test, that is totally my fault. I’m talking about a math teacher who teaches the material so you know it then puts questions on the test with methods that he never taught and never told us to learn. Not that he isn’t a really smart guy (he has a Phd in philosophy), but that does not make him a good teacher. As for my literature teacher, she is arrogant, bitchy, and alot less knowledgeable than she appears. She gives us inaccurate background information on stories and the people who wrote them. Also if we interpret something in a different way from her we are automatically wrong unless she likes you at which point she tells every class about how much smarter you are than everyone else. Also maybe it’s just me but is it just a bit unreasonable to have everyone read a Shakespearean sonnet for homework and then ask questions like: “What are the 2 reasons given in line two that Shakespeare feels his love is better than a summer’s day?” I am not making that up. Also she tells us not to memorize the poems just the words and phrases… Not to mention how she assigns projects and then modifies the requirements thus screwing several students over including myself. I am sorry but she’s really starting to piss me off. Not to say that when I fuck up alot of times it is indeed my fault.

6

She is more lovely and more temperate. :smiley: :smiley:

And I haven’t even read that one!
But seriously, I do hear what you’re saying. I did have an english teacher once who would give essays seemingly random grades and then tell you, “well, you got a 4 out of 15 because in this paragraph you said the poet was talking about the roof of the barn, when it was really the snow on the roof.” That same teacher once took nine points off of one paragraph (a 3 paragraph essay totaling 15 points, figure that math), for basically a semantical issue. I would have gotten a better grade had I not written the thing.

It is true that when you’re in high school you’re really at the mercy of your teachers, much more than in college or “The Real World[sup]TM[/sup]”.