I decided to go out to Sonny’s tonight for ribs. I got there, sat in a booth, and got my order in. I was checking out the new magazine I got in the mail today. But the people sitting behind me were the loud conversation type, so I just couldn’t help but overhear some things they were saying. They were a thirty-something couple with a close to three year old daughter.
The first conversation fragment I hear is the guy saying something about he would like to go into the lady’s restroom but he would probably get in trouble. I kind of laughed a bit under my breath, neither one of them laughed though.
So then my dinner is served. I prepare my baked potato, sauce up my ribs, get everything situated and begin to eat. Just then my neighbor’s cell phone rings, of course. So she begins her loud conversation with whoever is on the other end. I hear her say something about having a cough and coughing up yellow phlegm, as I take the first bite of meal. OK, I do a Zen thing and try to block that out, then I hear her cough a couple times in my direction without covering her mouth. I grit my teeth a bit, but still continue on with my meal.
The next thing I know, the little three year old girl is standing next to my table, she looks up at me, starts spinning around in place and screaming “help me, help me!!!”. The parents are oblivious to this behavior of course, mom is busy explaining, and demonstrating, her productive cough on the cell phone, and dad is still in deep thought about the women’s restroom.
I am now convinced, some people in this world are truly, totally fucking clueless.
So you bought their dinners? 
I’d have just smiled at the little girl, made the Sign of the Cross, said “The Power of Christ compels you! Come out of her!” and gone back to my food.
Ah, there are some days it would just be so fun to be as rude and clueless as people like this.
1> Call over the waiter/ess. Tell her in a loud voice. “Yes, I’m sorry, but there is this extremely loud and obnoxious couple seated next to me. Can you please ask them to be quiet?”
2> “Waiter, um… I think these people will be paying for my meal. And can you get me a new (whatever it was)? She just coughed all over this one…” (hand plate to waiter)
3> Prepare a small handful of salt and quickly throw it over your shoulder (without turning around) into the face of the person coughing in your direction. When she throws a fit, mumble something about an old superstition to ward off evil spirits, then ask why she was coughing on the back of your head. “I want your name and ID, because I’m suing you if I get sick!”
4> Pull out your own cell phone and pretend to have a conversation, in an equally loud voice, about how there is someone talking loudly on their cell phone not two feet from your head and can you believe how rude they are?
Generally, if you’re polite and discreet about it, you can get the management to reseat you and make up for unpleasant “fellow” guests.
A few years ago I took my mom out for mother’s day. The fellow behind me, who was what I took to be his wife or girlfriend, was very loudly telling about his day.
Complete with “fuck/assholes/shit/pissed me off” and that was the mild stuff.
I mean, it’s bad enough to hear all that, and in such a hostile way, in the FIRST place, let alone with your senior aged MOTHER.
I quietly got up, and went to find the manager. He first tried to talk to the gentleman, who complained mightily with lots more “fucks” etc. (the manager did not say who’d “told on him” and there WERE many other guests around).
They did end up leaving (with much foul mouthed complaining, AND to the applause of other guests, and my mom and I got a free meal.
I don’t believe that those types of people, any more than badly behaved children, should be simply “allowed” to continue to behave badly. That’s what causes so many people to think that that type of behaviour is acceptable, because too many people just allow them to get away with it.
I surely didn’t appreciate the looks I was getting from the people and employees while this little girl screamed, “Help me, help me!!!”, as I happened to be the nearest adult to her. Like, what did this guy do to that little girl?
I was really wishing I could have summoned up a nice release of gas as I left my table, but there were other people around, they would have been innocent bystanders to my assault.
If I would have had a cell phone, my loud (fabricated) conversation would have probably been something about making sure no one finds the body for at least a week.
People like this are the reason my husband and I now get our food “to go.”