I love you. I really, truly do. You’ve always been kind to me. We’ve had good times together. Well, you’re a sore loser at chess, but you’re competitive, so I can overlook that. Nobody likes to lose to someone 40 years younger.
You’ve never had a steady job in your life. You’ve always eschewed such things in favor of trying to follow your dreams of financial independence. Un-fucking-fortunately, you’ve always done so in the most hare-brained, hard-headed, disorganized, halfassed ways imaginable. Want to sell shiitake mushrooms for a premium? Fine, but you’re going to have to learn something about mushroom agriculture (hint: it’s exacting, detail-oriented shit). Want to make a mint extracting and peddling aromatic oils? Awesome, but you’re going to have to learn something other than what you read on the internet (and if you want to make different concentrations of it, you’re going to HAVE TO KNOW ENOUGH FUCKING ALGEBRA TO BE ABLE TO SOLVE “c1v1=c2v2”. Don’t call me up every fucking time you need to figure this out. I’ve already told you a thousand times!)
My entire life, every time you end up in a financial bind, you’ve called my parents. And they helped you out. Every time. And you repaid them by doing SHIT with it, and embarking on some other half-assed snake oil scheme. GodDAMN it.
You’ve been an unapologetic financial drain on this family for decades. We’ve put up with it because we really do love you.
And so now you’ve had a stroke. And you have never had medical insurance a day in your life. You’ve never planned that far ahead. The best we can hope for is that it’s not debilitating, because we can’t pay for your shit.
WE CAN’T PAY FOR YOUR SHIT.
My father, who has a very small nest egg, because every time my mom and dad saved something up, you needed help, can’t pay.
My oldest brother, who scrapes every day to get enough scratch to put two daughters through college, can’t pay.
My older brother, who has two kids in college AND a chronically ill wife, can’t pay.
I, who am a poorly-paid grad student with a newborn on the way, CAN’T. FUCKING. PAY.
Goddamn it, what the fuck am I supposed to do? You just called this afternoon, because you can’t stand the rehab facility you’re in, and would prefer to be in a better one. Turns out that they require you to ride in an ambulance between facilities. Oh my, I guess ambulances cost money, huh? $450, right?
Go back to your room. Nobody on this end has $450 to transfer anywhere. We simply do NOT have it. Don’t even try to lay a damn guilt trip on me.
But still. How can I turn my back on family, even a deadbeat airhead like you?
Fuck you. I know you’re getting older, and you can’t help your health issues. Fuck you. I know that it’s going to get nothing but worse. Fuck you. I know we’re going to be getting more and more desperate pleas for help.
What the hell else can we do for you? You’ve already taken most of it.