Bullshit
Sometimes you have to protect your immediate family from other family members. It’s sad, but this knucklehead systematically drained his relatives dry.
Because they followed this “help your family at all costs” billshit.
Now, if anything at all goes south with OP’s parents, the OP and other sibs will be at risk.
All the knucklehead had to do was keep a job and health insurance. He sure as Hell had the energy to avoid self responsibilty.
Yeah, I knew he was in the same basic position. His situation is so much worse, though. It’s his mother. What the hell is he supposed to do?
And this, boys and girls, is why it is a bad idea to tap out your family’s resources and good will for trivial crap… because then it’ll be gone when you seriously need it…
Pretty much what I told him: “You owe her nothing, you do owe others, and yeah I’d do the exact same thing…”. (Crying melts me, particularly a woman’s.)
Uncle has bled them dry, over the years, with trivial shit that’s added up. If Uncle had not bled them dry, and into debt, possibly he would even now be getting transferred. And, let’s make it clear, this transfer is not medically necessary, he’s not happy with his current facility, and he won’t be happy with his new facility, so not only is the transfer unnecessary, it’s simply a waste of money.
Uncle’s family members have to take care of themselves first. They do not really owe Uncle any more. He’s not entitled to resources that they just don’t have, especially since he’s apparently never been on the giving end of “helping family over lumps”, only on the receiving end.
Clearly, you’re a much, much better person than all of us bastards. You should write the uncle a check to really drive it home.
How old is your uncle? Can he get Medicare/Medicaid?
He’s in his early 70’s. He’s getting help from both sources (from what I could gather on the phone with him). I don’t think they’ll pay for an elective ambulance ride.
Let’s assume that new daddy, grad student Ogre is at least 25 years old. He routinely beats his uncle at chess, but this detail is important only to the extent that when giving it, he revealed that the uncle has 40 years on him. This puts the uncle at age 65, so Medicare is probably picking up the tab on the rehab facility that he doesn’t like.
If he’s indigent (or nearly so), he’s probably on Medi/Medi.
ETA: Gah! Beaten to the punch with actual information. Oh, well. At least my surmises were correct…
ETA (again): What’s his geographical distance from you, Ogre? Are you able (and inclined) to go visit him?
Ah. So I figure, he’s obviously not destitute then.
(I know he doesn’t need the ambulance ride or the ritzy rehab center)
Well, that’s the thing. He, according to him, has $100 in the bank. SocSec is his main income. This is not enough to cover his rent this month, not to mention utilities. Sooner or later, something has got to give, and it’s probably going to be sooner.
I do feel sorry for Uncle, in that I’m sure he’s not happy about his situation. However, he’s had about 40 years time in which to become financially stable, and he’s kept abusing the goodwill of his family. It’s Uncle’s bad luck that the family has run out of resources just when he really, really could use more help. But Uncle also helped ensure that the family kept spending money, instead of saving it for future need.
Why are you posting this shit here? Haven’t you read Ivn118’s post??? Get with the program!
Is he a veteran by any chance?
I’m afraid not.
So Hero, what do you propose? I wonder who is kicking who.
Well, uncle’s gotta learn that maybe he ought to plan his sponging better. Soak 'em too early, too often, for trivial shit, and they won’t have anything left to share when it really hits the fan.
Screw him. He can rot in a Medicaid nursing home.
It doesn’t sound like Uncle has planned anything well.
And this often happens. A person is enabled by those who love him not to develop the skills they need. Then Mommy and Daddy retire and are living off social security and there isn’t the income to support him…so he moves into the basement at 40. Then Mommy and Daddy die and there isn’t a basement, so he drifts and makes due and siblings help out. But siblings have other priorities - children of their own.
And when its $100 here and $500 there, its just a slight leak from the finances. Enough that the siblings or parents can’t really get ahead (unless they are wealthy) but not so much that they feel they can say no.
Eventually though, the amount required is enough to give pause. Private rehab centers are expensive. If he wants something nicer than what medicare will pick up, its a rare family that can afford that. A guy like this - it isn’t the ambulance ride…how is he going to pay for a different center? Is it covered, or is he going to get there and then start asking his family to pick up the bills?
“Gosh, Uncle, I wish I could help you. But the well is tapped dry. Is there something of yours I can sell to help raise the cash?”
Other than that, your obligation is done. He was born with a working brain and a healthy body. Making enough money to support ONE person – himself – should have been a cinch. Asking his own brother, who had a wife and kids of his own, to help him out financially once was pretty nervy. Asking his NEPHEWS for help is ludicrous.
Did you read the OP for comprehension?
It isn’t like Ogre and his family have a ton of money and they’re just taking the opportunity to teach the Uncle a lesson. There is no spare money to give. In part because said Uncle was a mooch all his life.
I suspect, that Ogre’s family, if they had the means, would help the Uncle anyway, despite everything Ogre wrote about.
Further, while it seems like Ogre is just being a hard hearted meanie, it seems to me that he/she is pained by the situation.