I’ve got a wedding coming up soon and would like Dopers’ opinions on seating charts.
I maintain that my guests are adults and can seat themselves. After all a reception is a party, not grade school. Besides, we have enough on our plates right now dealing with vendors, cake choices, songs, favors, and a thousand other details. Why should we have to decide who can sit where?
What say you?
I agree. The only place I can see the need for a seating chart is the head table where you’ll be sitting with your new spouse, parents, and bridesmaids/ushers, and that’s only to prevent confusion.
Reserved tables for the bridal party and the immediate families are sufficient.
I agree. Better yet, pick a tune to play at random times during the reception. When the tune plays everybody has to switch tables. Even if it’s during dinner. You have to switch and eat whatever is in front of you when you switch.
If, however, you insist on a serious answer, I say at least have some assigned sitting for immediate family such as the parents, grandparents and any siblings for both the bride’s and groom’s family. They should be “prominent” tables. This should be true also for any of the wedding party who are not seated at the head table, assuming there will be a head table. Everybody else can seat themselves. I attended a wedding reception recently where this was done and it worked beautifully.
I think my first response would be a lot more fun though. 
This exactly 
This I like. Especially since we’re having a buffet.
I wanna be there!
That actually eliminates one of the only drivers for having a seating chart - special exception meals (veg, allergy, etc)
I think it depends upon how well your guests know each other and whether they’re likely to come in as singles or couples. We had a much larger wedding than we anticipated (or wanted) and most of the guests on my side didn’t know each other or my husband’s family. So I did a seating chart with my mom and husband to make sure that people who might be odd man out if left to table X were put at table Y instead where they might have something in common and/or similar personalities or sense of humor as others around them.
Yes, on the one hand, you’re not allowing them to choose. But on the other, if you’re the one who knows everyone and they don’t know anyone, it can be pretty daunting to have to choose which random strangers to sit down with.
So, yeah, if everyone knows each other, great - have 'em sit wherever they want. If they don’t, consider at least introducing your guests to each other when you’re wondering around saying hi and before it’s time to eat so they won’t be uncomfortable or not know anyone at all.
Other than eating someone else’s food. (YUCK!!) I think “musical chairs” could be hilarious.
I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where I was assigned a place to sit unless I was in the bridal party. I say don’t worry about it.
Hm. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where there hasn’t been assigned seating. How else would my valet know where to find me with the utmost discretion should the need arise, such as the potential embarrassment of having a smudge noticed on my monocle?
But really, I tend to think of assigned seating as helpful to smaller groups (like couples) who may not know others well, and can be sat with people with whom they have things in common; or larger groups who would rather sit together than be split up. There’s a little more work to be done to print up people’s name cards and organize them, but it isn’t a huge burden.
That being said, assigned seating certainly isn’t mandatory.
I agree with this, and I used the same ideas at my wedding. I assigned tables, but not seats. Everyone sat with at least one person they knew, and with people they were likely to have something in common with. Free seating can be kind of awkward and high-school-cafeteria-ish if there are any significant number of people who don’t know most of the other people (which was the case at my wedding. Almost none of the guests knew more than 1 of the other guests, other than family).
As for the why, it is gracious hosting to avoid putting others in uncomfortable social situations. If that doesn’t apply to your circumstances, there’s no reason to assign seating.
When I got married I had to make up the seating charts for my reception. So as I’m grouping people I figure know each other together, my mother said, “Oh, you can’t have Mr. A sit at a table with Mr. B! They can’t stand each other.”
Puzzled, I said, “But they’ve served on many committees together.”
“That’s why,” she said.
Making this chart took more time than choosing my flowers, music, or food, and I didn’t have that many guests.
Don’t let him come, he’'ll eat all the food! You know bears!
The best reason for having a seating chart is to optimize the number of seats and tables in a confined space. Without assigned seats, people wander around trying to find a table with enough seats left together so they can all sit together, or people try to cram an extra chair around an already crowded table, people save seats and then other people move their purses or put the chair back down on all four legs, and then the first person comes back from the bar and finds their saved seat is gone. Or they put their stuff at one table, and find out later the people they wanted to sit with have grabbed spaces at another table and now there is no room for them at that table. Or family members who are moving a bit too slow find all the good seats up front are taken and they have to sit way at the back and they don’t let you forget it for the next 15 years.
Nearly every wedding I’ve been to has had a seating chart, whether it is buffet or table service. You only sit in your assigned seat during dinner, anyway, and you may get to meet someone you would not have spoken to normally. It’s a good way to ensure that everyone has a seat, family parties don’t have to divide up at separate tables if they aren’t the first ones through the door, and singletons can meet other singletons!
Wait, there are wedding receptions where the food isn’t served buffet-style?
I like the system where people are assigned tables but not seats.
Do you have anyone who is coming from out of town and maybe doesn’t know that many people who will be there?
If you know the people well you can arrange some interesting meetings. It does take a lot of thought and planning for a good seating chart.
We didn’t assign tables or seats at our wedding, and it worked out fine. Keep in mind, though, it helps if there are more tables and seats than you’ll need. When seats aren’t assigned, people may be more inclined to not fill every seat at a table, so a table for 8 might only have 5 or 6 at it.
I know that traditionally, there’s a head table with the bride, groom, maid or matron of honor, best man, and the rest of the wedding party, then other tables for the rest of the guests. But my brother was the best man, and we didn’t want his wife to have to spend the whole reception sitting away from him; same with my wife’s matron of honor (her sister) and her husband. So by not assigning any seats, the couples could sit together rather than where we wanted them to sit. It seemed less dictatorial.