As someone who was raped by a complete stranger who dragged me out into the desert to do his dirty deed after I was dumb enough to drive through a bad area in the wee hours in a car that didn’t have properly locking doors, I have to say that I have sympathy for the OP being creeped out, but jeez, honey! Next time do your laundry when other people are around! Take a bit more responsibility for your own safety! That’s a lesson I learned in a much harder way than the OP, so please take this as woman-to-woman advice, not criticism.
The guy was definitely a creep and I agree with most of the posters that his actions were weird and uncomfortable. But it’s important for women in this day and age to not put ourselves in a situation where such things can happen without interference. At least wait until daylight, when other folks are around, to do your laundry at the laundromat, especially if you know it’s not safe area!
I’m certainly not saying you deserved to have anything bad happen, but I also accept that sometimes a woman’s actions can place her in a situation where bad things happening is much more likely. And that’s exactly what the OP did. It’s important to be aware of actions that are inherently unsafe and do what we can to avoid placing ourselves in such situations if we can wherever possible.
It isn’t RedRose’s job to entertain a stranger who is behaving in a questionable manner. She was performing a mundane and necessary task, and was not at a bar or some other social setting where she might reasonably be expected to engage in conversation. RedRosesForMe, purchase a small can of Mace and keep it on you. Keep a cell phone handy, and if you feel the need to call the public service officer and request a courtesy visit, sneak into the ladies’ room and do so. “Hello, I’m by myself at the Laundromat and a man is making me feel nervous. Could you send an officer out on a courtesy visit, please?”
It is very possible that the man was harmless and socially inept and this caused him to miss cues, but the next time you feel unsafe: act. There are plenty of safe, daylight opportunities to engage a lonely stranger- no one is required to entertain someone who makes them feel uncomfortable.
the fact that you put quotation marks around the word rape indicates that you don’t understand that no matter the circumstances, “NO!” means “NO!”. It doesn’t matter one iota the relationship of the two individuals or whether or not they’ve previously had consentual sex. I so agree with SCL.
It doesn’t indicate that at all. It indicates that these are not the kind of things that come to mind, such as what happened to Mama Tiger, when one thinks of rape - and frankly I think it’s insulting to pretend otherwise.
It doesn’t indicate that at all. It indicates that these are not the kinds of incident that come to mind, such as what happened to Mama Tiger, when one thinks of rape - and frankly I think it’s insulting to pretend otherwise.
It doesn’t indicate that at all. It indicates that these are not the kinds of incident that come to mind, such as what happened to Mama Tiger, when one thinks of rape - and frankly I think it’s insulting to pretend otherwise.
We have to live our lives in fear because we are women? I think not. RedRosesForMe: Don’t listen to those who tell you not to do your laundry at the laundromat in the middle of the night! (Maybe listen to the ones who tell you to carry a weapon…)
You haven’t heard the urban legend about the guy who hides under people’s cars and slashes women’s ankles? Stupid as hell, but one I’ve heard a number of times.
On a more serious note, women are often told to look under the car from a distance or approach their car from an angle to make sure someone’s not lurking behind it. The chances of that being the case are very, very small, but the possible consequences of not checking are very, very great. Personally, it’s tough for me as a woman to strike a balance between reasonable precaution and refusal to let fear of a pretty unlikely event impact my actions.
That’s a little unfair. I can remember back in 1987 for God’s sake when I first went to college (in Blighty) being at a training course of some time where guys were told that it is a good thing to do, if in a dark/secluded area and you find yourself walking behind a single woman, to cross the street so as to make sure you aren’t thought of as following her (obviously there were more details, but that one piece of advice sticks in my mind). The sort of behavior in the OP is clearly disturbing to many people, whatever the intentions of the toker actually were. Fortunately nothing too bad happened, though it would not surprise me if the intention was to put a scare into RedRoses. That, unfortunately, is how some people get their jollies.
This (eliminating the scare quotes around the word rape) is accurate. A disproportionate amount of attention around rape is focused on stranger rape, when the great majority of rapes are committed by acquaintances.
This is bullshit, and offensive. A person raped by their partner can suffer the same fear, pain, physical consequences, and sense of violation as a person who is raped by a stranger. Sometimes it can be much worse, since with their knowledge of the survivor’s life and personality, the partner can exercise significant psychological control and other concomitant abusive behaviours, which can keep the survivor trapped in that relationship and make it very difficult to avoid additional assaults; rape becomes part of a pattern of domestic abuse that can continue over a long period of time.
It’s not up to you to grade rape survivors’ experiences as to which ones you consider serious and which ones you don’t.
Yeah, unfortunately, sometimes we do. Your principles are all very nice, but they’re not going to stop some psycho from raping or killing you, sorry. In the real world there are crazy people who will hurt others if given the opportunity and I think a woman hanging out in a deserted laundromat at midnight is akin to an engraved invitation. I wish it wasn’t that way * but it is *.