[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip]
No, I’d say they’re more like opposites. “You were dumb to put yourself at risk. You were also dumb for feeling scared, because you weren’t really at risk.”
I suppose a true risk would take the form of a wild-eyed psychopath holding a dripping machete, and not a chivalrous young knight out and about after midnight, smoking pot in public and performing his one-man “neighborhood watch” duties for the fairer sex.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, this guy was not keeping an eye on me to make sure I was all right, or some shit. He had a distinct aura of creepiness about him. I needed more quarters to finish drying my laundry, but had no more cash and didn’t want to drive to the 7-11 to get some because I honestly thought if left alone he’d steal my underpants or something. Not a normal guy.
I figured I’d get a lot of shit for “putting myself at risk” but I did not see the situation as terribly risky until Creepy showed up.
(WOOKINPANUB, I’m not sure what neighborhood you were thinking of, and how 9th and 30th could be worse than that. It’s a fair to middling neighborhood, not an affluent, low-crime area but not the ghetto. 9th and 30th S, maybe not so great, but 9th and 30th N just a normal working class/middle class neighborhood. I live on 8th St and 3rd N, to give you an idea of my frame of reference. I don’t find this neighborhood (or most others in the city) to be terribly frightening.)
I want to emphasize that I did not see the situation as an unreasonable risk when I arrived. Not a horrible neighborhood (just not the greatest), cops hang out at the 7-11 down the street. Several things made me uncomfortable-
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The appearance of Mr. Creepy walking down the street. Like I said, foot traffic and even bicycle traffic in that neighborhood after 11 is unusual. That alerted me that something was a little off.
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His decision to sit down at the bus stop, when no buses were running, and he had clearly seen me walk into the laundromat. People that sit at bus stops at night usually do it because they have no other place to go or they’re up to no good. Now, if he had unrolled a blanket and slept on it, not too scary, because I’d say homeless people sleeping on bus stop benches do not frighten me or appear to pose a significant risk. I encounter them often in my neighborhood.
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His approaching me and asking for a light, then offering me pot. Now he definitely knows I’m here alone, and the second sentence out of his mouth involves an illegal activity. Whether you believe pot should be legal or not, a person who will approach a complete stranger and with no other indication that I might be “cool” (no conversation before making the offer, I wasn’t wearing a Legalize It shirt, etc) making an offer to smoke me out strikes me as off in some way. I could be an off-duty cop, I could call the cops, whatever.
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Finally, his decision to sit in the laundromat with me when I made it clear his presence was not welcome. In hindsight I wish I had told him, “Get the fuck out of here and bother someone else you creepy fucking bastard,” but I didn’t.
It pissed me off because it doesn’t take a whole lot of common sense to figure out that a woman who is alone at night would be frightened by the attention of a man. It pisses me off that men don’t realize that in general, most women would not welcome the attention of a strange man, even at 3 in the afternoon on a bustling street in plain view of other people. Don’t say “Hey, baby” as you ride by on your bike, don’t ask me where I’m going or what I’m up to as I walk home from the convenience store at noon. Does that really work for you, or are you trying to figure out whether I’m a prostitute or not? (must be a really unsuccessful one if you think that, considering I don’t wear clothes that show off the goods and actively avoid catching the eye of passing gentlemen)
I refuse to live in fear. Most people make judgement calls on how much risk they’re willing to take, otherwise no one would leave their house. I don’t feel I was in the wrong by choosing to do laundry alone at night, because I’ve got a rather nocturnal schedule these days and I needed to get it done ASAP. I think I take necessary precautions by being aware of my surroundings, especially at night or when alone, and being capable of defending myself (for example, I’ve taken down a friend who is 6’, 200 pounds and put him in a full nelson when he was drunk and trying to start a fight with another friend of mine because he was mad he was dating his ex-girlfriend. I also went to a rough high school and got in a lot of fights, and most of my friends can attest that I don’t start fights, I finish them). Getting a knife would not be a bad idea, I should check out the applicable laws.
I think the problem is different experiences. I didn’t come from a great neighborhood, I didn’t go to a great school, I’ve lived in shitty neighborhoods because I couldn’t afford any better. Hell, I still live in what many would see as a dodgy neighborhood. A fun pasttime while sitting on my friend’s porch and chatting is playing “count the crackheads.” What strikes me as a “bad” neighborhood or “risky” situation obviously differs from others. Not that I’ve ever lived in a straight-up ghetto (well, IMO anyway), but wouldn’t you think that someone who did grow up in a neighborhood where an outsider would lock their car doors and pray not to hit a red light would see that neighborhood as normal and keeping an eye out for crackheads as par for the course?
Someone who grew up in lily-white suburbia would see a working class neighborhood on the outskirts of downtown as a bad neighborhood, but to me it looks just like the place I grew up. That’s not scary, it’s being approached by creepy guys that’s scary. Obviously, YMMV.
