Today, I shot the bird at a young child

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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[QUOTE=Autolycus]
You cant leave the thread until you explain this picture. I demand answers!
[/QUOTE]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHDSKLFJASLFJASLFJKADSLFJKSD!!!

I imagine that picture is completely mind boggling without any background information. Well clearly I have an affinity for paint I feel I can illustrate my life with that program where words fall short.

This is essentially a picture of me and my best friend. She’s really really tall and has really long thin legs. So I just teased her and called her “Legs” and eventually it caught on. Her last name is Kehoe. Self explanatory. She decided that I should have a body part nickname too. The trouble with that is I’m 5’4 and proportional and one part of my body doesn’t stick out like her and her legs. So she picked something on my insides. Spleen. King is my last name (please don’t find me and kill me now) so it just went from Spleen King to “the Spleen King” hence the crown.

I actually get a ton of mail addressed to this name. Legs lives in another state and so one thing we have that we can torment each other with is signing each other up for wacky free shit in the mail. 1000 Japanese Condoms addressed to Legs Kehoe? Free information packets on STDs addressed to Spleen King? A free video from the Hair Club for Men for Legs? Its all been done.

I just looked through all those pictures you now have access too. Some are kinda strange. Check out Alex’s Gift Shop. I pass this store everyday on the way to work and it makes me laugh bc its in a really bad neighborhood and its serious…not being ironic. Makes me smile. The pic of the pac ocean is the view from my office!

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[QUOTE=Rilchiam]
lobster, have you ever considered that if you stopped thinking of everyone else as an asshole or potential asshole, and acting accordingly, you might not be in a perpetual state of rage?
[/QUOTE]

nope

183

I think you are hysterically funny, lm. :stuck_out_tongue:

184

[QUOTE=Rubystreak]
This line cracked me the hell up.

lobstermobster, if you think that’s bad, wait until they get to be the supremely self-righteous age of 12.
[/QUOTE]

Oh man, speaking of unruly 12 year olds, some friends and I and (then) gf were sitting outside Dunkin Donuts sometime over the summer. This minivan pulls up and the door opens to discharge a few (it was awhile ago) boys who looked to be about 12-14. They had the swagger, one of them had the ever-so-classy diamond stud in his lobe, and they all looked very self-important. They go in to order their drinks or Donuts[sup]TM[/sup] or whatever while the adult women (gay couple? 2 mothers taking their brood for a day trip [this was in S. NH and the car had MA plates]?) waited with their minivan parked in the fire lane.

When the boys come swaggering back out sipping on their big ice coffees, one of them (diamond stud boy) struts his way over to my gf and says “Hey baby.” We’re all vaguely stunned at his brashness, and don’t quite know how to respond, and the kid presses on to tell my gf that she’s hot or some such. Eventually she gets enough of her wits about her to say something like “Are you kidding? You’re 12.” And as he continues to cockily chew on his coffee straw, she asks “Are you even old enough to masturbate?”

At this, kid gets a stunned look on his face and the straw falls unheeded back into his coffee. He sort of just headed back over to the minivan and got in. Seconds later, the driver turns around in her seat and yells out the open sliding van door, “How can you say something like that to my child?!” and possibly something about manners. We ask her if she knows what he said to us, but the door just closes and they proceed to vacate the fire lane and drive off.

I don’t know if this is the right place to bring up the “kids these days” rant, but I was a sub for a year in the local public schools (mostly middle school unfortunately), and I swear that the first day I was there I wanted to come out (as a 22-yr-old) with “When I was a kid…” about a dozen times.

As for the OP, I probably would have just shook my head and laughed at the kid, but I understand just letting loose with something after a stressful day. Sorry I don’t have more to add to the debate, but I see the points on both sides have been fairly well fleshed out.

BTW, this is a total hijack, but does anyone know where to watch sumo online? It’s the finals today and my TV stopped working.

185

Skanky Chicken Sandwhich

Band name!

I about busted out laughing when I read skanky chicken sandwhich. Sounds like something friends and I would goof about.

I’m going with Billy Bob Thorton on this one. Not that you look like Billy Bob, but he could fill the role.

186

[QUOTE=BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed]

As for the OP, I probably would have just shook my head and laughed at the kid, but
[/QUOTE]

Ahem… “shaken my head.” Yes, I really do teach English.

Slinks away in shame…

187

Attention girl-to-be-played-by-Britney Spears (batshit crazy), you still haven’t told us how to jerk off a mouse!

Inquiring minds would like to know.

And while we’re on the subject of making odd requests in unrelated threads, where can I find some good pics of Amanda Bynes? Yum.

188

[QUOTE=BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed]
. Eventually she gets enough of her wits about her to say something like “Are you kidding? You’re 12.” And as he continues to cockily chew on his coffee straw, she asks “Are you even old enough to masturbate?”
[/QUOTE]

I bet he did that night. "Oh wow, a hot chick told me off! …fap, fap, fap…

189

In another time, another night, in another city… some wacked out bouncy stoner is thinking, “Some bitch threw a skanky chicken sandwich at me!” fap, fap, fap…