Today's award for understatement goes to...

This woman, a junior high school volleyball coach who got into a verbal dispute with a spectator at a game, went out to her car and attempted to bring in a ** meat cleaver** into the school.

Her statement? “I made a mistake. I had a bad attitude”.

(aside, who carries a meat cleaver in their car? just in case you find some pork chops by the side of the road?)

to make it a IMHO and not MPSIMS,

a. Do you carry meat cleavers in your car???

b. Is there a better candidate for understatement award?

Perhaps she is also a traveling GinSu salesperson. Let’s face it, vollyball coaches don’t make that much money.

No, but my car is almost old enough to have been owned by Ward and June Cleaver. Does that count?

Nope, IMHO this one takes the cake (and has her own utensil with which to cut it).


According to this, a retired Navy man attended a custody dispute hearing with his ex-girlfriend and her mother.

After the hearing, in the parking lot, he emptied his gun into the two women, reloaded and emptied it again. He then drove off, had a stand off with the police, then surrendered.

According to the police spokesman, “He appears to be emotionally upset by the events of today”.

Welcome to Road Kill Cafe, home of Possum Helper.

It’d sure explain the bad attitude.


Funny you should mention…
a few years back, I did some fake menus as a gag (pardon the pun) gift, that was the “Roadkill Cafe” and included:

‘Possum Patties …$14.95
Succulent Possum meat is pressed into delectable patties, with flour, onions and spices! Served with a haunting sauce of acorns in sparkling water. Choice of two of the following: Mashed potatoes, baked potato, fried potato, potato salad, home fried potato, potato au gratin, twice baked potato, German potato salad, potato chips, stuffed potato, steak fries, curly fries, sweet potatoes, scalloped potatoes, shoe string fries, Amish Potato salad, potato bread, hash brown potatoes, whipped potatoes, potato Diane, potato pancakes or potato soup. Delicious!
among other things.

I vote for Narcotics Anonymous spokesman Steve Sigman, when referring to Stephen Phillips, a “self-proclaimed NA success story and motivational speaker.” Claims he’s been clean for six years, but slipped out of a speaking engagement to take delivery of a package containing 53 pounds of marijuana. At his home was discovered 48 more pounds. Said Sigman of Phillips:

“It sounds like this individual was not 100 percent in recovery.”

Here’s the link.

Love it, Dijon

on a sadder note, apparently I misinterpreted the prior link about the Naval officer -in the article it said the police were ‘negotiating’ with him, I assumed, incorrectly they were successful. according to this he shot himself. The three year old now is in state custoday, having lost her mother, father and grandmother on the same day.

Today’s offering

Seems that the actress who has been making her living playing ** “Po”**, the littlest Red teletubby, has a new gig.

an unnamed friend is quoted as saying

** :eek: what would Jerry say?

Jerry would say: “Uh-oh!” and giggle like an insane schoolgirl.

Homer Simpson, on the other hand, would sagely remark: “Mmmmmmm…Tubby custard…”

Actually I think Jerry would say “Ok I may be colorblind, but I knew I was right”