'Tom Cruise is gay': a homophobic statement?

A friend of mine was upset by a recent convo she had on another message board. There was a discussion of Tom Cruise going on, and she said she thought he was gay (so do I, for that matter).

Inevitably, someone asked for a cite. Of course, there’s precious little concrete evidence that Mr. Cruise is gay. It’s all circumstantial-- he sued someone for libel for claiming they had sex, and won, but didn’t ask for anything but a retraction. That doesn’t prove much but it does put the idea out there. There’s the fact that Scientology believes homosexuality is an aberration that can be cured through auditing, so even if Tom has had gay relationships in the past, he would strenuously deny it now and probably has repressed the possibility that he is gay. Again, strictly conjecture and yes, ultimately unprovable psychoanalyzing of a stranger, but it does have a bit of a ring of truth to it, based on his recent behavior.

Mimi Rogers, the first Mrs. Cruise, said that Tom should have been a monk (his first calling was to be a Catholic priest, btw). He was into celibacy to “maintain the purity of his instrument.” She told Playboy that she left him because “her instrument needed tuning.” The couple never had children, but she went on to have some with her next husband. Tom adopted kids with Nicole Kidman, but they broke up when she was 3 months pregnant, and then she miscarried. There was something weird going on there, but it’s been kept pretty quiet. According to my friend, it’s been alleged that Kidman was pregnant with someone else’s child, but that’s just gossip. Now there’s the whole bizarre insanity of Katie Holmes, which sure seems like a faux-relationship. I think Nicole Kidman made some oblique comments about Tom needing to stop making such a big deal, lest people think the relationship was fake.

OK, so that’s the evidence my friend offered. Then, a guy responds that saying that Tom Cruise is gay when Cruise himself violently disputes this claim is homophobic, and that his denials are condemned as fake and his engagement to Katie Holmes called a ruse are also homophobic. According to this guy, this evidence of Cruise’s gayness, such as it is, proves nothing more than that Tom is a control freak and a weirdo who adheres to a crackpot religion.

I agree that the evidence is most certainly not proof positive, but homophobic? My friend was horribly offended at being labeled such. Personally, I was flabbergasted that the claim that Tom Cruise is gay could be characterized as homophobic, especially considering that my best friend and his boyfriend also think so and aren’t afraid to say it.

Before anyone says the “why do you care?” standard line about interest in celebrities’ lives, I will say that the situation is interesting for a couple of reasons. First, if he is gay it’s sad that he has to be closeted; I wish that gay celebrities could be out without repercussions and I regret that it’s not so. Also anyone whose religion tells them that who they are is an aberration that can be cured, and that it must be in order for the believer to reach enlightenment, is not in a good way either. I personally strongly dislike Scientology, and this adds one more reason. Add this to Mr. Cruise’s rather public condemnation of psychiatry (a branch of medicine of whose help he seems in great need) and his recent odd behavior makes me think he’s a person in a state of emotional distress, either because he’s gay or for some other reason. It’s pretty say to watch someone who is falling apart in such a public way; kinda like watching a train wreck. That is the extent of my caring.

What do you guys think? Could anyone explain to me how the theory that Tom Cruise is gay could be construed as homophobic in this context? I hate the idea that we’re behaving or thinking in a homophobic way without knowing it… I think it would have been pointed out before by someone besides a stranger on the Internet, but hey, maybe I’m wrong.

Couldn’t it be homophobic 'cause the gay community doesn’t want him any more than the straight community?

“Here. You take him.”
“We don’t want him. You keep him.”

The basic equation “Tom Cruise is gay” isn’t homophobic by itself. It’s a statement of fact, which might be true or false.

The evidence a person relied upon to support or dispute the statement could be homophobic. If for example somebody argued Tom Cruise must be gay because he acts like a raving lunatic around women or that Tom Cruise can’t be gay because he’s too good looking, both arguments would be homophobic in that they’re based on false premises about gay people.

What about “I think Tom Cruise is gay”? More or less homophobic?

What about my friend’s evidence? Homophobic or not? Gossipy, maybe mean-spirited, none of her/our/anyone’s business, but expressing hatred or fear of gays? I accept that this is possible, but I do want to see how and why.

And since this is the Pit, I think the guy who called my friend homophobic is a fucking asshole.

Jesus bloody Christ in a ruby loincloth. What is with all the homophobe accusations lately? And how is saying Tom Cruise is gay homophobic? Can someone explain that to me?

People have been claiming he’s gay for years. You and your friend haven’t said anything that hasn’t been said a million times over.

head explodes from PC overload

Since this is the STRAIGHT Dope, all of us Dopers must be homophobic.

It’s the next logical argument.

If you’re talking about the Kyle Bradford suit, Cruise sued for $100,000,000. Bradford defaulted on the suit (and also denied ever claiming Cruise is gay).

The latest man linked sexually to Cruise is Matchbox 20’s Rob Thomas. Thomas denies it, not because he objects to being linked sexually to a man but because he ojects to being linked sexually to a Scientologist.

I still say Rob Thomas and Eddie Izzard are one and the same. (Not sure what either’s orientation is, but I just wanted to share that observation)

I thought Rob Thomas was married to a woman.

(I know that doesn’t mean much, but I thought he was at least publicly “straight”)

Someone here may have a different opinion, but I don’t believe that stating one’s belief that Tom Cruise may be gay followed by stating the evidence, though somewhat circumstantial, leading one to believe so is homophobic. I see it as idle speculation, not an indictment of the man or of homosexuals in general.
If your friend came out and said, “I can’t stand Tom Cruise, he’s totally a fag,” THAT would be homophobic and understandably inflammatory.
Whatever strains may drive Tom Cruise to behave so bizarrely at times, he’s a free man capable of redefining himself and his situation in such a way that he can live peacefully. As it is, people will speculate on the lives of the glitterati because they’re wealthy, beautiful and have an unconventional and arguably enviable lifestyle.
The dude who decided to fire up his angst engine over this perceived attack on Cruise probably has movie posters from every movie Cruise ever made on his bedroom/parents’ basement walls. In his fantasy life he and Tommy boy probably hang out and have beers and discuss what it was like to not bone Nicole Kidman.

One more thing: I totally understanding not wanting to have sex with Nicole Kidman. She needs to get a tan and an emergency ass implant.

Well, for a Pit thread, this is going rather gently. I was sure someone would tell me that I was a homophobe, but no one has, which further reinforces my feeling that the guy who said it is fucked in the head. My friend thinks maybe this guy (a frequenter of this message board) has been “accused” of being gay at some point or points in his life, so to him, it’s perceived as an attack when in this case it isn’t. I just don’t know what would provoke such a violent reaction.

The fact is, I think we’d like Tom Cruise a whole lot MORE if he came out as gay, which makes us the opposite of homophobic. Things have gotten pretty screwy when people who love their gay friends and the gay community get tarred with this brush.

Um, what?

I think you may need to read that again.

You’re right…this is going rather smoothly. Thusly, I shall coarsen the discourse!

Fuck you Rubystreak, you goddamn clown-shtupping fool! How DARE you put forth an opinion about a public figure, one whose sexuality has been unfairly questioned on MULTIPLE occasions! You insensitive, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert! Take your goddamn commie left-wing latte logic somewhere people don’t mind bashing serious artists!!! Everyone knows that slut Kidman got pregnant having a threesome with Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie and Jack rYan!!!69!!!
Next you’ll be telling me that Michael Jackson is a pedophile!exclamationpoint!
Shame on you, you beaver-buggering sadist.
Shame. On. You.

That better?

I’m not sure what you mean. You said there were rumors (denied by Thomas) linking him sexually to Cruise. I was only saying that I thought Thomas was in a hetero marriage which would indicate that (publicly, at least) he wasn’t gay.

Ah, much! I forgot where I was for a while there, but now it’s all come back to me.

Otto: As for Rob Thomas, I think Diogenes was saying that as far as he had known up to this point, Thomas was straight, and offered his hetero marriage as evidence. This doesn’t mean that Diogenes believes being married proves that Thomas couldn’t be gay, only that this rumor alleges that two publicly straight identified figures were together. It’d be a bit less shocking if Tom Cruise were rumored to be with Rupert Everett (though it would increase my respect for his taste in partners by 100 fold).


Sigh, shoulda previewed. What I meant is, D offered Rob Thomas’ marriage as evidence that Thomas wasn’t known publicly as gay, not evidence that Thomas is straight.


At least the same can’t be said about Aquaman. As for the evidence cited in the OP; unless Tom cruises for burgers, there’s the possibility that he might be light in the loafers. So light, he can’t even stop himself from bouncing off Oprah’s furniture.

I don’t think Tommy Boy is gay. I think he’s asexual. And perhaps somewhat demented. (No, I don’t know him personally, this opinion is based on what I’ve seen over the years.)

That purity of essence line is fantastic, btw. We can only acheive Peace On Earth through our Purity Of Essence. Your average Commie has no respect for life. I do. Which is why I refuse to give my essence to women.