“Pirates are entitled to Net Neutrality”, Tom arbitrated.
“I’ll give you my classic roast beef for your beef 'n cheddar,” Tom arbitrated.
“Here’s how much we should pay the workers in Germany”, Tom arbitrated.
“Alvin and Theodore only shot bogey on that hole, but I was a stroke better!” said the third chipmunk, parsimoniously.
“It took a long time before I forgot the trauma of that fat chick flashing her bare ass at me” said Tom, over the moon.
“The Minoan civilization was crap!” Tom said discretely.
“I’ve outfitted my son’s entire Little League team with new mitts” said Tom, treating them with kid gloves.
“My cloning machine is a complete success,” said Tom, beside himself.
“My girlfriend left me because she could stomp me so easily in tennis,” Tom said lovelessly.
“It’s about time we cleaned out this disgusting vegetable drawer” said Tom, overwrought.
“I can’t stop watching this porn flick featuring the short fat guy with the long shlong” Tom said ironically.
“I’m going to listen to “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” when sitting in the butterfly garden,” said Tom, ironically.
“The school board fired the head of my high school after I confessed to having an affair with her” said the student, admitting his guilt in principle.
“I was so distracted yesterday that I walked right through a closed screen door” said Tom, his face showing the strain.
“These graphics clearly demonstrate that Progressive Insurance is engaging in overkill with its ubiquitous spokesperson” said Tom , unveiling a flow chart.
“I’m going to listen to ‘Run to the Hills’ while sitting the parlor surrounded by several young maidens,” said Tom, ironically.
“I just can’t get into reading Moby Dick”, said Tom superficially.
“I realize that my previous statement relies on a common misunderstanding of what kind of animal a whale actually is” said Tom, showing no class.
“I would prefer not to wear army clothing that is mass-produced” said Tom indefatigably.
“My heart stopped beating twice, but the paramedics used those paddle thingees to get it going again” said Tom, repulsed.