“It doesn’t matter how sexy the girl I’m with is, I still suffer from ED” said Tom, who just couldn’t get along with anybody.
“This patient is in deep hypothermia, Nurse. We have to circulate a warm saline IV to bring his internal temperature back up” said Dr. Tom, heartwarmingly.
“Well, at least I managed to smuggle a small portion of my stash past customs” said Tom, pulling a number out of his ass.
“It’s true that I’m the world’s foremost authority on Bill the Cat” Tom acknowledged.
“I hate flying, but that’s the fastest way to get to Nantucket - ACK!” Tom flew into a rage.
“I like to sort each individual type and length of fastener into its own separate bin” said Tom, filing his nails.
“I seem to have trouble controlling my bladder if I travel outside of Europe” Pierre said incontinently.
“I only want AMD processors in my computers!” said Tom, unintelligibly.
“I can be in two places at the same time,” Tom said impossibly.
“I find your claim that this small mythical being is proficient at stealing highly unlikely” said Tom improbably.
“My sex life consists entirely of calling 900 numbers” said Tom, laying it on the line.
“The sun’s going to blow up!” Tom announced disastrously.
“Self-cannibalism is fun”, Tom announced, eating his heart out.
“I’m doing a thesis on the political structure of the Holy Roman Empire”, Tom confessed frankly.
“I agree that self-cannibalism can be necessary for a Survivor” typed Stephen King.
Ha! I had one on this theme awhile back but rejected it for being too gross. Silly me!
“I guess self-cannibalism wasn’t such a good idea after all” said Tom, throwing up his hands.
“I’m going to the costume ball as the leader of the American Communist Party” said Tom, all gussied up.
Excellent!
“Whenever I eliminate electrically-charged particles from my digestive system, it feels more like I am consuming them!” said Tom passionately.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that actress who played Inga in Young Frankenstein in any films” said Tom mysteriously.
“Come on, Mr. Landlord, get Wifi in this building instead of this old TV wiring”, Tom coaxed.