“I’ve made substantial investments using the money my products have brought in” said Mrs. Vlasic, working her dildo.
“I have a lot in common with Oedipus Rex,” said Tom, masturbating like a motherfucker.
“Now that I’ve grown my hair long and put on jeans and tie-dye, this radical hippie group I’ve joined will never guess that I’m actually a government infiltrator” said Tom, forging ahead.
“That’s the last time I go to a GG Allin show” said Tom as the shit hit the fan.
“The tracks that link our countries aren’t robust enough to support the weight of the trains that run on them” said the ambassador, calling for stronger ties between the two nations.
“I like having anal intercourse with multiple partners” said Tom, slipping through the cracks.
“I have a wonderful idea for a blues composition - for orchestra!” George Gershwin rhapsodized.
'You owe me a commission for that stuff of yours I got rid of for you through my eBay account" said Tom, taking a selfie.
“Let’s just say that our relationship is a bit strained” said Tom in a civilized tone.
“After the way Phil treated her, not to mention all his subsequent behavior, I’m surprised Ronnie never reverted back to her maiden name” Tom expectorated.
“Oh Lord, please hear our humble and quiet plea…we need a miracle to stop the river that’s raging out of control from flooding our town” said Tom, damning with faint praise.
“It’s amazing how that Richard Belzer character had no difficulty working himself into so many different TV series” said Tom, discussing a case of the munchies.
“Heh, I’m going to take advantage of this thick fog to touch some boobies” thought Tom, feeling under the weather.
“Fuck you for being so careless with the buzz saw,” said Tom, giving me the finger.
“I’m the best there is at preventing runners from sliding into home safely” said Johnny Bench, the protagonist of the story.
“I’m not sure how I feel about my role in kicking off the boy band craze” said Michael ambivalently.
“Now that I’ve opened the window, I’ve never felt happier” said Tom, ventilated.
“At least you can’t hear the bagpipes from here,” Tom said, happy to get off scot free.
“At last I’ve finally sold my house” said Tom in closing.
“I realize it’s an infinitely repeating decimal series, but I’m just gonna call it .333. OK, that’s it, I’m outta here” said Tom, rounding third and heading for home.