“I’m getting sick of singing ‘Tom Sawyer’ every night,” Tom said giddily.
“My girlfriend loves dwarf-wrestling,” said Ken, throwing another shrimp on the barbie.
Love it!
“I’m one of the U.S. diplomats now being forced to leave Russia,” said Tom disconsolately.
“That doe-eyed fluffy kitty is soooooo cutie pie,” Tom tweeted.
“Whew, I’m sapped,” Tom said as he took a break from tapping maple trees.
“I didn’t know being on a NASCAR pit crew would be so hard,” Tom said tiredly.
See the OP. One per post, please.
“I think I may have a bit of carbon monoxide poisoning,” Tom said exhaustedly.
"I put a curse on you, Jon-Erik, said Tom, hexumly
“Thou must stayeth back, lest ye be impaled,” said Tom, shaking his spear.
“I see the Wendy’s burger and fries in the bag, but no dairy dessert,” Tom said frostily.
“I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today,” Tom said, wimpily.
“If you rub it just right it will give you much pleasure,” Tom said handily.
“You’re gonna love Paper Moon and The Grifters,” Tom said confidently.
“There, there, Honey. I’m sure we can have the entertainment center repaired,” Tom consoled his wife.
“I’ve got the best ass in the world!” Tom brayed.
“I spoke to him and he assured me he can fix the wheel,” Tom said.
“It’s hard to run with my left foot nailed to the floor,” said Tom in a circular fashion.
EH said,* post hoc*.
“Come harvest time, I reckon we’ll have lotsa crops,” Tom ceded.
“I guess l don’t really need my right eye, right ear, right arm, right lung, right kidney, right leg, and right testicle!” Tom decided.
“Butt out,” said Tom cheekingly.