“I’m tired of hunting quail! Why can’t we hunt for something else sometimes?”, Tom groused.
“Well I’m tired of hunting deer,” Tom sniped, as he rowed.
“There’s one more thing you have to do if you’re going to make a half-decent grilled cheese sandwich,” Tom grated.
“Enough with the snow. The vernal equinox has passed,” said Tom, springing to his feet.
“But I finally got used to the daylight hours,” said Tom, falling back.
“The laundry’s still putting too much starch in my shirts,” Tom said stiffly.
“Science can certainly inform faith, but you still can’t find the Almighty using electromagnetic radiation with longer wavelengths than those of visible light,” Tom said irreverently.
“All the other kids made fun of me today because Teacher sat me in the corner wearing the dunce cap,” Tommy told his mother pointedly.
“Sometimes you just have to improvise new toys, no matter how horrific,” Tom said, rolling his eyes.
“You mean you’re not into alternative sex acts,?” asked Tom, blowing his nose.
“I hate my body and want to beat up one of the smallest but most visible parts of it!” said Tom, licking his lips.
Nitpick.
“I hate my body and want to beat up one of the smallest but most visible parts of it!” said Tom, smacking his lips.
“I do like vocalizing the thought that ‘I hate my body and want to beat up one of the smallest but most visible parts of it!,’” said Tom, giving lip service to the idea.
“Of course, I could just slap the side of my face and be done with it,” Tom said cheekily.
“I just googled the best place to buy contact lenses,” Tom eyeballed.
“Licking” is slang for “beating up.”
“Good thing my legs are so long,” said Tom, kicking himself.
“Is that the long-limbed Tom I just read about?” asked Tom, legging it.
“I really wish I hadn’t said that,” said Tom, putting his foot in his mouth.
“Foot and mouth disease affects ovines and cattle,” said Tom, sheepish and cowed.
“We can never stop fighting confined animal respiratory disorders,” coughed Tom, doggedly.