“Well, you know, I’ve just never liked dogs,” Tom said cattily.
“Mmmm, bring me some of your sweet, sweet Meow-Mix,” said Tom, purring.
“I will no longer play the title role of Phantom of the Opera,” said Tom, unmasked.
(Shameless plug:* Unmasked* is the title of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s autobiography, released in honor of his recent 70th Birthday. I recommend it extremely highly, even to non-musical theatre fans.)
“Yeah, now that you mention it, they say my timepiece can ‘take a licking and keep on ticking’”, Tom chimed in.
“My clock has run down and gone silent”, said Tom, ticked off.
“That concrete structure in the river holds back so much water that the sight of it makes blood rush from my head”, said Tom, fainting with dam praise.
“That beaver dam that’s stopped up the creek has been gnawing at me lately,” Tom wrote in his log.
Looking for ways to get rid of the beaver dam, Tom, flooded with rage, burst out explosively: “Damn that dam!”
“Watch out for that nasty old turtle in the lake,” Tom snapped.
“What kind of lake is this?” asked Tom, placidly.
“I can tell ghost stories about this lake,” whispered Tom, eerilly.
“But *my *Great Lake is truly the greatest, and so is the sky above it”, said Tom, with an air of Superiority.
“Congress is crawling with disgusting insects,” Tom said reproachfully.
“And this follows the thread from lakes?” asked Tom, bitingly.
“Is Good Friday over yet?” asked Jesus, crossly.
“I know the Seder tonight will be great,” said Tom, sweetly.
[ * A ziessen Pesach to all! * ]
“I’m sure it will”, Tom’s brother said, choosing to pass over their quarrels.
“Yes, and Easter’s coming,” said Tom, rising to the occasion. "And quoting my supposed Brother in this thread is out-of-bounds, "said Thomas, doubling down, nominally. "But perhaps other posters will let it slide,’ said Tom, doubtfully.
“I am sad that Jesus is dead”, said Mary, maudlin.
“Don’t be sad, his death is the promised salvation of us all,” said Joseph, paternally.