“The graspberries are ready to pick,” Tom griped.
mmm
“I’ve found the laundry detergent!” said Tom cheerily.
“So what? It was right on top of the washer” Tom’s wife replied, tidily.
“And look, I found the dishwashing fluid, too!” Tom said joyously.
“I won’t stop looking until I’ve found the furniture polish,” Tom pledged.
“Damn, that toothpaste tube squirted again!” said Tom, with a gleem in his eye.
“This is the line to see the Tony Award winning musical with puppets? It stretches down the street and around the block to the avenue,” said Tom, queueing up.
“I live in the valley,” Tom hollered.
mmm
“Well, I live on a mountain!”, said Tom, piqued.
“The floors were so dirty, so scuzzy so mean…
But now they do dazzle, do shine, do come clean.
All thanks to my ingenious, my inspired, my incredible buffing machine.” Tom waxed poetic.
:: golf clap ::
“I wish my floors were a little more appealing,” Tom said dully.
“Don’t worry, there will be donkey rides on the beach,” Tom assured.
“I like my new water moccasins,” Tom hissed.
mmm
“How does my rope get all twisted up in knots so easily?” Tom snarled.
“Don’t worry, there will be donkey rides on the beach,” Tom reassured.
“Well, I’m never hiring THAT bunch of lawyers again!” Tom said firmly.
“I’ve seen a lot of changes to the James Bond series, but I never thought they’d have Pavarotti play his boss,” said Tom emphatically.
“Is that another comment about discrimination towards the obese?” Tom asked fatuously.
“Hmm, maybe I’ll go visit the prison and try to convince some inmates to try to escape” said Tom, contemptibly.
“I got the second letter of the alphabet covered in foamy soap!” Tom blathered.