“Why do you think a particular internal organ has anything to do with your moods?” Tom said splenetically.
“A Modest Proposal For Preventing The Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being A Burden to Their Parents or Country, and For Making Them Beneficial to The Public” said Tom Swiftly.
“I think I shall forevermore wear tweed jackets with leather patches on the elbows, smoke a pipe and argue over the smallest nits of academia until someday dying in genteel poverty,” Tom said professorially.
“I wouldn’t dress like that if I had to,” judged the Professor .
“If small needles temporarily relieve my chronic pain, surely these large wooden spikes will eliminate it entirely!” said Tom painstakingly.
“Those talking trees in the Tolkien books probably didn’t move much during snowstorms” said Tom, enticingly.
“Ohio … is that the state that’s round on the ends and high in the middle?” Tom said elliptically.
“Mother suffered a haemorrhage,” Tom mumbled.
“One doctor says I’m fine, but the other says I’ll be dead by Tuesday next,” said Tom paradoxically.
“I finally managed to cross a persimmon with a parsnip!” said Tom parsimmoniously.
“Dig more fuel out of the bog?” Tom repeated.
“It wasn’t easy, but I managed to get all the lions down the toilet,” said Tom, flushed with pride.
“I was so happy to fly the lunar module back into orbit and dock with Columbia” said Neil Armstrong, over the moon.
“I just have to share this mundane item” said Tom, pointlessly.
“Can you believe that when the distillery exploded, all of the booze was expelled in a dense, gaseous form?,” asked Tom, through an alcoholic haze.
“No, I don’t think you’re going to find two more undiscovered pharaohs’ tombs in the Valley of the Kings”, Tom tut-tutted.
“Don’t be such a chicken-shit,” Tom clucked.
“I feel so cute and holy, I think I’ll just sprout tiny wings and fly away,” Tom said cherubically.
“I think I’ll just sit down for a spell,” said Harry, charmingly.
“Shouting? Who’s shouting!” said Tom boldly.