Read this whole entire thread in the past two hours. Only moved once, to go get Dr. Pepper and popcorn (all the party food talk, y’know). And I feel so relieved things have gotten to the point they’re at now.
Best of luck in the future, Helen. You’ve done a more than admirable job so far. I look forward to hearing more from you and about how you and your family are doing.
What I want to know is: Did he have to look up her number at work or did he know it by heart?
Helen, I’m encouraged by the news and very much admire your coolheadedness. Good luck to you and your family.
Helen, you’re amazing. 
I can’t believe I am about to post the following. I know none of you will believe this, because it makes any soap opera seem tame, but this is what has happened in the past 3 days.
I allowed him to spend the night Friday, and I was weak. We used protection, so that isn’t an issue. He told me he was getting up early Saturday to go hunting and then he had to work for a few hours. He comes over for dinner afterwards, and it was this happy family scene from Norman Rockwell. All “Baby” and kisses and “I love you.” He then tells me he has to run an errand and something seems off. So, I do the suspicious wife thing and check his voice mail messages:
“Hi, honey, it’s me. I’ll be at my mom’s, so you can call me at XXX-XXXX. I’ll talk to you soon. I love you.”
I felt like someone had shot me. So being the shy, quiet, type, I called her. I spent the next 45 minutes finding out what a liar he is and so did she. He told her we were seperated and filing for divorce when they started sleeping together. That is so far from the truth. She then asked me what had happened Wednesday night, because he was acting strangely since then. I told her, and I was confused about the phone call. Well, she didn’t work Wednesday night, so it was a set-up. She asked me if he had slept in my bed and I said yes and we’d had sex. She then said, “Well, you should know we had sex twice today. He went hunting came over to see me and we slept together, then went to work and slept with me after that, too.” So he had his Rockwell moment minutes after sleeping with his mistress. The woman he supposedly didn’t love. The one he was never seeing again. Are you with me so far?
This may stun the lot of you, but she seemed like a decent person. Everything I had come to know about her was a lie to keep me blaming her. She was just as devastated as I was. OK, not as much, because I am his wife of 7 years (8 years together), but she kept saying how sick to the stomach she was. She claimed to have told him that if he wanted to go back to his wife, she was fine with that and understood, but then he had to be out of her life for good. At the time, she kept saying she didn’t even want his name on the birth certificate when her baby is born. She told me he told her he was spending so much time with me to iron things out about our child and support. It then hits me. He wanted to “work things out” with me now because the support hearing is coming up and he knows I’ll take him for everything. He actually jerked me and my child around to save some money.
I next call him and ask him how the other woman is. He says, “How should I know?” I tell him I just talked to her and she told me they had sex twice that day. He first denies it and says that’s crazy, the other woman is lying, I can’t possibly believe that. I keep up that I know everything, and finally he admits. Then, with all the arrogance he can muster, he declares, “We’re over!” Then, with all the wit of a 3rd grader on the playground, I declare, “No shit, Sherlock.” (OK, that was embarrassing, but I was too screwed up to come up with something better.) He then hung up on me.
Let the goat-felching begin! That mother fucker has no idea who he married. I may have been Miss Betty Sunshine when we were together, but that was before he tried to fuck with me and my child. He has not experienced misery until he gets what is in store for him. This divorce is now going to be a nightmare. I will drag it out until he has nothing, and I am going to protect my daughter from this sociopath with everything I have. If the other woman takes him back, I hope she makes a shitload of tips, because they’ll need the money. Quit your job? I’ll track you to the new one. Get behind in payments? I’ll have your license taken away. Try to skip out? I’ll have you thrown in jail. You’re life is mine, you bastard.
Some of you may chime in with, “Keep in mind, he is your child’s father.” What kind of father pulls this stunt? He can’t love her if he would mess with her head like this. He went so far as to tell her that daddy is coming home soon, just to perpetuate the lies.
I have no more words. I need to call my lawyer and unleash her. I think I may enjoy this.
HelenTroy I’ve been following this thread since the beginning and I was so happy for you that you seemed to be working everything out after all.
But… OH MY GAWD… this just about beats everything I’ve ever heard, staged breakup and all.
He deserves everything you can do to make him suffer.
OMFG.
This belongs in the Pit after all.
{{{{{{{{{{{Helen}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{Helen’s daughter}}}}}}}}}]
OK, he’s your childs father.
He is also a dirty, rotten, low down, good for nothing, lying, cheating, worthless, diseased elephant feltching piece of shit and an idiot. IMHO of course.
No doubt he called the other woman and told her you were lying about the two of you having sex, his being lovey dovey ect. Just like the things he told you about her to make this her fault (heh yes I am sure she raped him and he fought as hard as he could) . Instead of taking responsability he wants to play *let’s you and her fight over me * Fucking wanker !
I do not doubt she is a nice enough woman who got taken in by his lies too, but remember to be careful what you tell her, I’m sorry but she’s not your friend and will likely tell him any and everything you say, her loyalty is with him.
At least you know in your heart and mind you were willing to try, you did your best HE fucked up again.
I say hang his ass, when you go for child support don’t forget insurance and day care . And since your little girl is so young you might want to see about having a no person unrelated of the opposite sex to spend time with daddy dearest during visitation for a certain amount of time. Having Mommy and Daddy live apart is confusing enough with daddy’s new girlfriend being added into the mix right away.
Or we could always get all like minded doper womens together and geld the bastard. I kid, I kid. (Maybe)
i
Ummm ** withOUT Daddy’s new girlfriend added in to the mix **
Well, that low-life goat-felching bastard!!! I can’t believe he did all that.
Get him. Get him good.
Just remember, your lawyer is legally allowed to shake him by the ankles and you get to keep what comes out of his pockets. We won that right in the case of Lawyers vs. Justice. 
Get him good Helen!
Helen,
I hope you take him down until he doesn’t even have a clean pair of underwear to call his own.
What an asshole. Asshole is nowhere near harsh enough, but I don’t know what else to call him. You and your daughter deserve everything in this.
Ava
Why does this not surprise me? Why did I have that niggling whiny little voice in the back of my head saying “Meh, it’s too perfect, he’s lying and playing them both for fools”?
Because I’m a cynical old broad who’s seen too much to believe in “And they lived happily ever after.” Because I found myself in somewhat the same situation with boyfriends a couple of times. It never ended well. A cheater is a cheater is a cheater.
Tell your lawyer to go wild. I’m sure she’ll enjoy it.
The only caveat, and judging form what you’ve posted so far, I think you can do it, is never to run down the slimeball in front of your child. It will take a heroic effort, but one that you’re capable of, and will go a long way to healing the damage this will do to her. You will have to set the moral and ethical standards for her, because he sure as hell isn’t capable of it.
Oh, and consider yourself lucky, in a weird way – at least you found out what a piece of shit he is without going through a long, miserable period of growing doubt and denials from the jackass.
Helen, it’s not time to end the love fest. I still think you are strong and wonderful.
I was the one earlier who said that I didn’t want this to happen to you again. I thought the ending was too “pat,” too perfect. This doesn’t surprise me at all. It doesn’t surprise me that the other woman seems like an okay person either. She’s still partially to blame, but she was hoodwinked the same as you by the same ASSHOLE.
I hope you have alot of supportive friends and family that you can talk to right now. If not, we’ll all be here for you.
Take the bastard for all he’s worth and all his future earnings!
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
Oh, Helen!
You have got the best instincts - I am SO GLAD this asshat didn’t get away with it. And that you had the guts to ask the tough questions. Good for you! You are so smart & so tough!
**Wow. **
That is an amazing situation. I thought I’d heard it all, but this takes the cake.
You nail his ass. I know you will.
And I second the pp who suggested you avoid running him down in front of your daughter (which I suspect you’d figure out on your own anyway, you’re a class act). She’ll figure it out on her own & it’ll be much easier on her that way.
Interesting that the Other Woman isn’t such a bad sort. I believe that.
{{{{{{{Hugs to you & daughter}}}}}}}
Once this is over, you’ll be one of those “life’s never been better” people, I betcha 
Holy cow! You ARE living in a soap opera! Days of Helen’s Lives? All the Ex’s Children? General Horrible?
Look, I have absolutely zero experience in these things, but Ayesha’s warning about the other woman NOT being your friend sounds spot-on. But I’m glad you had the chance to talk with her, and learn a little bit about her. At least you know that she didn’t deliberately set out to ruin your marriage or anything. Now you know that the vast majority of your anger should be towards your ex, and not her. Of course, she’s not blameless or anything, having participated in the set-up last week. And having been sleeping with a married man in the first place. But, no, it doesn’t surprise me that she seemed like a decent sort.
And please do not beat yourself up about having played house with him the other night. It wasn’t a good thing to do, of course, but an understandable thing. And if nothing else, it led to the exposure of the depths of his duplicity. I doubt anyone here will hold it against you. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, and all that jazz.
Hang in there. I’ll be thinking of you. (And waiting for the next update. Geesh!)
I can’t believe your husband is this mind-numbingly stupid. I mean, I can tell from this thread how smart you are! Did he think that he’d be able to pull this off!? What a sphincter.
I’m really sorry to hear about how this all turned out for you. But damn, good for you for following your (obviously) razor-sharp instincts.
Big hugs to you and L’il Miss Troy. You two are going to be just fine.
Wow. Just wow.
Even I, Cynic #1, didn’t expect him to reveal himself to be such a lowlife.
Just remember - the best revenge is living well. With your strength, courage and commitment, I think you’ll be serving quite the heaping dish
I had a feeling that phone call to her was some kind of set-up. That just sucks, Helen. Good for you for calling her. As someone said, I would be careful what you tell her from here on, though, if you end up dealing with her again. And the fact that you felt the need to check his voice mail tells you that you weren’t really falling for it, either. And that’s what you would have been going through for a long time if you had reconciled. Well, at least you found out sooner, rather than going through a lot of work and effort only to find out later. But it still sucks. And I don’t think you were weak to sleep with him. He’s your husband, you thought he was trying to make things right and you were meeting him half way. Of course you wanted things to be different. I wish they were for you and your daughter. But I’m equally sure you have the strength to do what you need to do now to protect her and yourself. I’d say “take the bastard for all that he’s worth”, but I don’t think he’s worth too much. Actually, I’m not usually one to take that kind of stance but, in this case, I’ll make an exception. Lying bastard. Oh, wait, it’s the Pit. Fucking lying, cheating, fucking bastard.
I actually feel better today than I have in months. I slept like a baby. I am having thoughts of taking all his belongings, stuffing them in his boat, and sinking them in the pond, but that just feels too “Waiting to Exhale” to me. My revenge will be much more long term.
I have no intentions of becoming friends with the other woman. For all I know, he went over there and made up more stories about the evil medusa of a wife he has and how I was just making up stories to ruin his life. No, the truth will do that all on its own. I don’t have to make up jack shit.
I am glad you found out sooner rather than later.
By the way, I could always sense things too.
If as a woman, you suspect your man, then you are likely right, go with your intuition, its never failed me.
That said we are here for you.