Tomorrow may mark the end of my marriage.

The BBQ Pit
341

Helen, I’m so glad you listened to that little voice in your head that warned you to follow up on his story. My favorite part of your story was when your husband sputtered, “We’re over!” Seems someone doesn’t like being out of the driver’s seat. Oh, to be a fly on the wall the day he gets served with his papers.

If there were any justice in the world, his girlfriend would tell him to get lost. Alas, if she got involved with a married man, she’ll undoubtedly continue merrily along in her fantasy world and take him in. Of course now he’s available to get married and she knows it! Ha Ha Ha. Something tells me he’s not the kind of guy who will like the pressure. Something also tells me that she’s not half the woman Helen is. He’s gotten himself in quite a pickle. You almost have to feel sorry for the guy.

No, I lied. You really don’t.

So, congratulations to you on your recent liberation, Helen. As crappy as divorce is, your best days are ahead of you. You’re young, you’re smart, you’re wise. And you’ll get custody of your little girl.

His loss. His monumental, earth shattering loss.

342

Helen, I have two problems with this.

First Snidely Whiplash was a man. Not to get into the realm of male bashing, but at the moment I’d prefer to give you female role models.

Second, and far more importantly, none of his plans ever worked. Laugh like Dorothy Parker, instead. Please. :smiley:

343

I think I have a goat arond here somewhere…
:: takes another bite of fried crow, frowns at it :: Y’know, this ain’t half bad…
Have fun with this. As a Democrat I will now exercise my right to flipflop.

344

I have a question as well. You said she didn’t work on Wednesday, and that she was confused about what had been happening since Wednesday. So was it really her on the phone, or did he get someone else at the bar to play along?

ivylass sez:

And doesn’t it suck that she should have to do this? What could she possibly do that would even approach his level of scumminess? But of course, his lawyer would be able to spin it that way.

345

Everyone gather 'round. I would like to recite a poem dedicated to dear Helen. Now snap your fingers to the beat of one and three. ready?

Titled
Lights Camara Action

I almost let you take my heart and clinch it in your fist
'cus so many times you’d just repeat those words I’d try to miss.
You spoke of love and how I was the savior of your sole,
so lost and hurt and afraid of yourself. How well you played that role.
I can see the stage inside my mind covered with paint and prop.
Carefully worded and organized, the punch lines never stop.
Lies replace the actors’ scripts but their roles are all the same.
They’re there to make me feel insecure but without giving you the blame.
So just in time I gathered the clues and the villain was locked up for good.
But my favorite part of the entire play was the moment you realized I could.

346

Well, since Helen can’t trust him as far as she can throw him, I wouldn’t put it past him to twist and lie and scheme to hurt her even more. I just suggest not giving him any ammunition.

Sometimes being paranoid is not such a bad thing.

347

Oh, I’m not arguing with you, ivylass! Actually, I’m glad you brought that up. I’m just saying that it sucks that no matter how scummy the husband’s behavior, the wife’s behavior is still going to be put under the microscope.

348

Out and out man (or woman) bashing isn’t really humor, though. As much as Helen’s soon to be ex-cheating bastard is an asshole, a liar, and a sick son of a bitch, there’s absolutely no need to denigrate the entire male population of earth.

We can do just as well insulting the cheating fucknugget.

At this point, Helen is smart to not be too chummy with the other woman, and not to seek revenge outside legal means. Both would be sure to come back and bite her in the ass during the divorce proceedings. Also, Helen, as much as we’ve all been interested in your story and sympathetic to your position, you should refrain from posting any further details here unless absolutely OK’d by your lawyer. You never know if something said on the Internet will find its way back to a place it can do damage or not.

Keep your chin up. You’re obviously a smart lady, and you’re going to be fine.

349

Helen, Ms. Troy, Ma’am,

You have more strength than you realize. You will get through this. I would make a suggestion that may seem inappropriate at first, but there’s a reason for it. I would suggest that you not burn your bridges between you and the “other woman,” and in fact keep communications open. If she is indeed pregnant, you both may be dipping out of the same paternal support pot, and it might be wise to coordinate with her on some level. Plus, you would have a way of checking what’s going on if a payment is missed. Your soon-to-be-ex has demonstrated that he couldn’t be trusted to put down a loaded gun if it was pointing at him.

Just a thought, at any rate. Best of luck to you.

Satyagrahi: “spraying semen around like a fire hose.” Gotta remember that one. Very interesting imagery.

Vlad/Igor

350

sniff, sniff :frowning:

351

Please add me to the list of men who would like to revoke the membership in malehood from penis owners like this guy, and who would in fact take steps to do so except that have serious doubts about obtaining the necessary plurality.

So instead, if you’d like some of us to knock him down and scoop out his spine with a melon baller, just say the word.

352

That is just shocking. I really really hope she dumps his ass too.

353

Oh my.

I haven’t been keeping up on this thread, but I just read the updates and all I can say is… wow. What a piece of shit, scum sucking asshole!

I think I defended all parties involved in my original post, saying that good people make mistakes, blah blah blah. And I stick by that. Good people DO make mistakes.

However, Good People do NOT go through the trouble of setting up a fake phone call to get out of paying child support. Good people do NOT pretend they’re changing their ways while in reality are getting as much sex as possible with not one but TWO women, lying to both of them all the while.

At least you now know you’re doing the right thing, Helen. Get rid of this asshole, and start your new life.

354

Well, sheee-it.

I agree with ivylass, Helen. Change your locks, pronto.

No, really. I mean “change them tomorrow”. Any slime bucket that would lie this much, can’t be trusted to respect a locked door.

And yeah. Stand strong when you can, and let us help prop you up when your knees feel like they’re going to buckle.

355

I’m so sorry, Helen. I think you must be hurting along with being angry. Get the filth good and treat him with all the disdain he deserves.

All my best to you and your daughter. You’ll get through this.
Hugs from Holland.

356

I’m another person who just caught up with what’s going on… Eek.

Yeah, it sounded a little too easy, but we all want to believe that happy endings are possible; after all, people have seen the errors of their ways before, I’m sure.

Well. First, Helen, let me commend you on both your willingness to give it another go & your smarts. I thought that the conditions you laid out were very logical & quite fair, really.

He obviously can’t discern when he’s got it good. This is one of the few times when I would suggest leaving him with not even enough money to purchase a clue. I say this not because money is the most wonderful thing on Earth, but because it seems that HE thinks money is the most wonderful thing on Earth. Nothing like attempting to save yourself some money in support by attempting to fool the wife & kid into thinking you’re a changed man.

Putting money above being honest with one’s spouse & child is…ugh. Disgusting. I’m glad you were smart enough to have suspicions & I’m glad that you no longer have to deal with his lies as his wife (Hopefully he won’t be a liar of a father, overall.).

Best wishes; keep us apprised.

357

At the risk of walking in the lion’s den, or Dr. Laura’s fan club, I’d like to propose that there are 2 sides to every story. Let’s look at it from Mr. Troy’s point of view, let’s call him Bob.

Bob considers himself a responsible man who genuinely loves his wife, Helen, and his daughter and his home life. He has been faithful to Helen for 8 years. Then one night he comes across this waitress – let’s call her Kathy. They become attracted to each other. He probably questions whether he should have an affair with Kathy. He finally decides to go ahead with the affair for the following reasons:

1- It would be a short love affair, and if Helen does not find out about it, it will be over in a few weeks when the hot passion wears off.

2- If Helen finds out about the affair, he can always explain that this was simply a short affair and Helen would understand and either tolerate it for a while, or ask him to stop. After all, Helen seems to be an open minded woman, having grown up with a gay Mom, and receiving love calls from Bob’s brother (see HelenTroy’s past posts).

3- If Helen, as an open-minded woman, tolerates the affair for a while and lets Bob exercise his freedom as a human being on this planet, everything is fine. If she doesn’t tolerate it and make his life miserable, he would try to get out of the relationship with Kathy as best as he can – and that would be the end of that. No big deal in this day and age. But no-one is giving enough time to Bob to get himself out of a miserable situation.

What went wrong was that (1) Helen found out too soon about the affair – before it could die from a natural death, and (2) Kathy claimed she was pregnant.

If Kathy is indeed pregnant, then a mutually agreed abortion is an option – and Bob immediately gets a Vasectomy. Kathy would probably not want to see him again. And if he starts another affair later in life, at least he won’t cause pregnancy if he does not use condoms.

Meanwhile life goes on, both Bob and Kathy become older and learn to be less jealous and give more space to each other. The daughter can grow nicely with her parents, who respect each other’s freedom. As the daughter grows up, she will most likely show less sign of HATE for Bob as a human being – unlike the participants on this thread.

I am not trying to be a troll here. All I am trying to say is that there are 2 sides to the story.

Now, please be gentle with your attacks… I know this is the Pits and I am facing a vicious audience. But is there anyone here who can see things from Bob’s point of view? I don’t think he really wants to live his family and take a one way ticket, disappearing to a far away island for a few years. But the way you all are ready to see him grilled – the far away island may be his only option.

358

I’m not going to comment everything, but since when does being open minded or having a gay parent mean that you should tolerate a cheating husband? Do you think “Bob” would be okay with her having an affair? Just think to himself, oh… she is so open minded and had a gay mom so I guess it’s ok.

I’m quite sure that the husband was aware that if Helen found out she would be hurt, her upbringing shouldn’t be an excuse to threat her like he did.

And so what if their daughter will grow up without both parents living together, I did that, it hurt when it happened, but I’m quite sure it would have been worse if they had stuck together for my sake.

359

She wasn’t getting “love calls” from her BIL; she was getting crank calls. And I don’t see what her mom being gay has to do with this.

Oh, get serious.

360

You call him Bob, I’ll call him lying cheating bastard.

Oh you’re from the old what she doesn’t know won’t her school huh ? No harm no foul ? There is NEVER a good reason to cheat on your spouse, no happy ? Not getting enough sex at home ? Just want some strange ? Then either talk to your spouse to try to fix things or try to arrange an open marriage agreement. Or get. a. fucking. divorce. Do not break someone’s heart with your own selfish bullshit.

Hey her Mom is gay so cheating on her is ok ? Give me about 15 fucking breaks here. That is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. I am straight and I find this beyond insulting ! The children of gay persons deserve to be cheated on ? That’s a good one. NOT ! The children of gay persons should just accept cheating because they are somehow more open minded than other people ? I know some people who are very open minded, almost anything goes as long as it’s between concenting adults and no one gets hurt and yet any of them who are in commited relationships do not think it’s ok to get some strange on the side.
Are you saying that the children of gay persons are somehow raised to believe that infidelity is ok ?

Since I see no post by Helen saying they had an agreement to have an open marriage she also has every right to kick his lying scummy ass right out the door but you seem to have forgotten to leave that option open to her.

As someone else pointed out you seem to have misread the BIL thing, was that intentional ?

So this is all Helens fault because she won’t let poor widdle LCB have his fun ? He has had since fucking September to get his shit straight . Bad, Helen, bad ! You should just allow him to keep screwing both of you (in more ways than one) as long as he wants.

Yessss once again it is Helen’s fault. Or Kathy’s it is in no way lcb’s fault. Poor lcb is the victim of these women :rolleyes: :smack: :rolleyes:

Well maybe not, and we won’t think about all the diseases he could bring home to Helen. After all a man has the right to screw anything in a skirt (or trousers) anytime he wants right ?

As I said before I see no sign that Helen and the lcb had an open marriage agreement. If you want top be married AND keeping playing around be up front and honest about it BEFORE you break someone’s heart.

Not everyone shares nicely. I know I don’t. I have been in Helen’s shoes minus the baby thing . My husband has bent over backwards to prove himself to me. He had to meet every one of my conditions including std testing and counseling, knowing I was going to be watching him and if he screws up ever again he can kiss my ass and his assets good-bye.

Have you ever been cheated on ? Do you have any idea of what that does to a person ? Why in the blue flying fucking hell should he get it his fucking way ? He tried to slither (like the snake he is IMNSHO ) his way back in to keep Helen from doing what she needed to do to protect her daughter , HIS child and herself finacially.

When he set up the fake phone call and screwed Helen and the other woman in the same day he lost (and rightly so) any reason to expect anyone to care about his wants. What about Helen’s wants ? What about the daughter who wanted her Daddy home, whose Daddy fucked with her mind and heart ?

Lest you think I am harsh here I would like to point out that I have not called you a fucking idiot, a yak feltching goober or invited you to go fuck yourself.