#1
Dear Aunt,
Beef tenderloins are not meant to be cut up and cooked like steaks. I almost cried when I saw what you did to the tenderloin I carefully chose for the family dinner. The fact that only I and one other were absolutely horrified by this makes me lose a lot of faith in my relatives… as far as cooking is concerned.
#2
Dear Coworker,
Knocking up the wife you have stone-cold-red-handed-busted cheating on you is just another of the very bad life decisions I’ve seen you make over the last 20 years I’ve known you. This drama has been going on for a year and a half and I, along with most of the other people we work with, are sick and tired of hearing about your domestic situations. STFU, grow a spine, and stop expecting us to give a fuck. Our symapthy ran out a LOOOOOOONG time ago.
#3
Dear Friend,
Yanno what, stop playing the victim card. You claim to have a brilliant business mind, but no one takes you seriously. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say, It’s because of the 2 felony convictions and NOT a conspiracy against you, as well as everything else that has gone wrong in your life was NOT somebody else going out of their way to personally screw you over because he/she/it was TOTALLY jealous of your brilliant business mind and had to put you in your place. It’s the 2 felony convictions.
P.S. If you have such a brilliant business mind, you’d be trying to get your MBA from somewhere besides the University of Phoenix.