I love that sketch. “How’s your penis?” became our company greeting in The Army. Even with female soldiers who puportedly were ill-equipped to provide a qualified response.
Lockseer, um…damn.
In the name of all that’s right and holy, do not google this! :eek:
Oh, and glad to hear your penis is all better, Lockseer!
Sweet Jesus why did I do that?
- hurk *
Lockseer, please do us all the favor of keeping us up to date with future developments regarding your penis. Thanks.
I’ll start a new thread one day. I don’t want to steal the thunder from Lockseer’s penis.
Funny you mention that.
All was going hunky-dory until this morning. Woke up, stung a lot when I peed, and some blood formed around the opening. Again, think the blood was from the force of the liquid breaking through scar tissue.
So, I hopped into the shower, cleaned up the blood, and inserted the tube (okay, guess it’s a rubber catheter). So the tissue wouldn’t reform, I left it in…for about two hours…at work.
Nobody noticed me walking funny, but I’ve been peeing freely all day.
Christ, this sucks.
You know, I honestly thought I’d heard it all. Good Cow.
I am not laughing any more. I may not laugh for some time.
Hope you get repaired soon.
This was either supposed to be Holy Cow or Good God.
Apologies to Queen Tonya, as I did not mean to imply I was calling you some new, strange name.
I lied. I just laughed.
“Good Cow!” Thanks, Anastasaeon. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been known to say that out loud. At least you only typed it.
Been there, done that.
While riding on the rat trap / book carrier of a bicycle down a hill with no brakes (you can see where this is going), the fellow controlling it tried to slow down by cutting a corner and riding us through a ditch. When the bike started to rise up out of the ditch, the rat trap broke, and I dropped down onto the wheel, which propelled me forward into the three broken prongs of the rat trap. I was impaled in three places: scrotum, penis and inner thigh.
Short of having my balls eaten away by a gang of heroin-addled termites, I don’t think there’s much I can ever complain about.
Lockseer, you must look for the good in everything. Think of this. You will never, ever ever have to listen to the phrase “Just give birth and then tell me about pain.” You win.
If I could kiss my penis, I would. It’s been pretty good to me so far.*
*[sub]Of course, I’d never leave the house and die destitute, but the putter would shuffle off the mortal coil knowing it’s loved[/sub] 
Oh, and Muffin is a strong showing for 2nd place. Dare I ask if this explains the username? :eek:
Hehe, I debated whether the google-alarm would cause more or less clickage to occur, but at least I tried to save y’inz the horror.
Moo! 
Too late :eek: :smack:
More. Always more.
(shudder)
Nah,the user name is what my parents called me from day one.
Well, since the slight freak out from yesterday morning, things are bit better. Sure every trip to the bathroom is anxiety-filled, but everything has come out fine so far. Just trying to ignore the slight stinging. And using that damn rubber tube more frequently now.
Thanks to all for allowing me to expound on such a personal issue…you’ve all been good sports.
And I am NOT, repeat NOT googling that…
I’m female too, but I’ve had a few UTI’s where I would have BEGGED the doctor to scrape things out to let me pee normally.
I normally just call in for a script for an antibiotic. The antibiotic generally leads to a yeast infection. The yeast infection is infinitely more uncomfortable than the UTI was in the first place, and much more difficult to deal with. (I’ve heard that there is now an oral medication for yeast infections induced by antibiotics, and I may just ask to get both scripts the next time I have a UTI.)