Interesting. I don’t think they ever stopped in my youth. At some point they changed from the “stay up all night and watch movies and play video games” party to “it’s easier to get into mischief when you only have to dodge one set of parents” party, and finally to “I’m gonna be way too drunk to drive home,” but I still get invited to all night parties from time to time (I’m 23).
And it wasn’t 24 hrs long either. I think we left him at 6pm or so and picked him up the next day around noon.
I’d worry more about whether your daughter is close to any of the other little girls. Has she played at their houses, or have they played at yours? How do they know each other?
I don’t think five-year-olds aren’t socially aware enough to make sure everyone feels welcome and included, so if mom isn’t going to be hands-on and guide their play, there’s potential for someone’s feelings to get hurt.
If your little girl makes friends easily and is really sociable, the overnight might work. If she likes to do things by herself and needs alone time, she might not have much fun, and she’ll think it’s her fault.
I did overnights starting at a young age, starting with grandparents, and it shocked me when I got to be 8 or 9 and someone staying over got homesick after a few hours. But it happened.
Age 5 or 6 with a bunch of kids? with parents you barely know? No way.
I think of slumber parties as more for the 10-12 year olds - i.e. old enough to be unlikely to dissolve into tears, be able to communicate, and mostly be left alone except for regular provision of bowls of popcorn etc.
My daughter first spent the night at a friend’s house at 5 or 6. HOWEVER this was just her and her friend, and we knew the parents quite well.
I don’t know that I’d worry about anything really oogy going on, with size of the crowd you describe, but as others have said: too young, too many kids, too long of a stay.
Maybe the parents would consider an “un-slumber-party” sort of thing - the kids come over, do slumber-party activities, maybe change into jammies and watch videos until lateish in the evening, then go home.
Eh, depends on the situation. In the OP’s case, I don’t think it’s a good idea, simply because it’s too long in duration and you don’t really know the parents. If it were, say, 5:30 at night till 10 in the morning or something, and you knew the parents, no biggie.
I don’t agree with the “too young” argument. 5 is old enough to sleep at a friend’s house IF they’ve already spent night(s) at grandparents, etc. and have some familiarity with the concept. Kids are all different, though…if your kid tends to want mommy after a few hours, then no, a sleepover isn’t in the cards yet.
Knowing the parents at least somewhat would be a must. Generally speaking, though, I know my kids’ friends’ parents enough to know they’re probably not psychofreaks or something.
Do you know any of the other invitees parents? That would help. Also, you could let her stay overnight, but pick her up in the morning. as others have said.
Another thought: How well do you know the parents of other invitees? If you are closer to someone else who knows the host couple better, you could sound them out about the soundness of the hosts (or even see whether there is any interest in a “coalition” of guests’ parents suggesting something shorter).
I still do not think that 5 is too young, except that your daughter has already demonstrated homesickness, indicating that you might want to ease her into overnights by way of “extended hours” that do not include actually spending the whole night.
Not a chance, nope.
My kids have gone, as a group, and spent the night, or even 2 nights, at their grandparents’ house. Only the oldest has gone for longer and alone, so she could attend a day camp in their town. She was utterly devastated with homesickness and crying hysterically on the phone with us by the end of the week. My MIL wanted her to go to stay-away camp for the week, so she could ‘grow up and do things on her own’. But I know my daughter. She wasn’t ready. A week with grandparents was hard enough on her.
And here’s something else that hasn’t been brought up: Suppose, just suppose, that there’s an adult at that house who has less than honorable intentions toward little girls. Is a 5 year old going to be self-aware enough to let you know? To even be aware that something’s not right? You don’t know the parents (much), or what sort of other adults may be present. A heck of a lot can happen in 24 hours. Geez, I just wouldn’t.
I got a lot of sulking from my six year olds about not being able to go to camp like their big sister. But you know what? They got over it. Their time will come.
Sleepovers are part of life, WHEN they become part of life is for a parent to decide. That decision needs to be based on trust (of others) and on knowlege of your child. I am a single parent, my child has had sleepovers since he was 3. Sleepovers with people I know and trust.
Last week my child turned 14. He wanted 2 mates to stay the night. One of the guests has stayed over many many many times since he was 5 years old. The other child would have stayed for the first time ever and I barely know his parents( I had to work the next morning) I said yes to first and no to the second.
My child grumbled that I said no but I said no BECAUSE of the other parents. His don’t know me, it is not fair of me to trust their child to me.
I believe that staying away from home is a good thing…a very good thing. It teaches children to trust themselves and others. They learn that they don’t have to have mum or dad present in order to have fun or sleep.
BUT for parents sanity you should know the other parents involved.
There is NOTHING wrong with retrieving a child from a sleepover at 3 am…it’s all part of the learning curve, their learning curve mostly but it helps parents too.
Do a deal with your child, “I will pick you up at ?,Clock but next weekend little what-ever-their-name-is can stay the night here”.
I wouldn’t have brought it up because it’s almost ridiculous. How would the logistics on that work, exactly? The other girls are going to notice if she’s missing for any length of time, aren’t they? And I think 5 is well old enough to understand and report misconduct. I did, at that age, when it happened to me. It’s far more statistically likely for a child to be molested staying over at Grandma and Grandpa’s house than at a sleep-over party, although none of us would like to admit it.
I think the OP is right to say no, given the girl’s history. I also think it’s about time for some sleep-over training. As **vetbridge **alludes, she needs to gain experience. That doesn’t mean throwing her into a situation like this, though. Baby steps. Start with her own private “sleep-over” in the living room. Let her set up a sleeping bag and some favorite dolls. Spending the night outside of her own room is the first hurdle.
Once she can do that without getting up and going back to her bed or bugging you, let her invite one friend to spend the night at your place. Then at her place. Then you can increase it to two or more guests and your place, followed by a group elsewhere.
Tip: never more children than years of age. No more than 5 5-year olds or 6 6-year olds.
Well, each parent has his or her own concerns. That would be one of mine. But then, I found pictures of half-dressed little girls on a friend’s computer, while looking for something else. He’s still a friend, but I wouldn’t leave him alone with my daughters for five minutes. That just creeped me out too much.
PBBBBTTS!!
Free Babysitter! That’s all I got to say.
Man, I can remember when I was married if me and my wife could manage to get the kids out of the house for even 5 seconds; We’d take full advantage of it, if you know what I mean. <wink,wink - nudge,nudge>
So a whole night to ourselves would be golden.
I also have to say, I think some of you are letting the media get the better part of you as far as this whole child molestation thing goes. (Respectfully)
That being said, I’d still like to meet the parents though. Also, if it were my girl, Id pick her up around nine or ten in the A.M.
No need to subject the parents to THAT much torture. Even in spite of themselves. 
Sure beats throwin’ it out the window, don’t it?
We have a 3 year old, 6 year old and 8 year old. Our oldest two started doing sleepovers at 4-5 years old, so I would think nothing of it. Granted, we usually at least marginally knew the parents involved. The 24 hours thing seems a bit long, but only for the poor parents hosting the thing.
Understand, this comes from a family history where I was expected to drive a tractor in the tobacco fields when I was 5 years old, so maybe we mature in this part of the country a little sooner. 
Jammer
The first sleepover I can remember was when I was 6, and it was absolutely fine! I had a great old time. But then I wouldn’t have dreamed of being homesick; I’ve never been homesick unless I am sick.
I wouldn’t have made the party til 5:30, that’s just way too long. Mine were always 3:00pm - 11:00am. Just enough time to sleep in in the morning, have breakfast, have a swim, and then go home. Any longer and the lack of sleep would have begun to fray our nerves, I think.
But yeah, I’d let her do it for sure.
Eh? It is not fair of you to trust their child to you?
My Mum always said that if it was fine with their parents, it was fine with her. She never had a problem with anyone I wanted to stay over. I would have been grumpy at you too! Did you make any effort to get to know the other kid’s parents? Phoning etc?
Jesus, she’s only 5, this is way too early to worry about this crap. She won’t get molested, she won’t get traumatised, if she does get traumatised, she’ll forget about it in a week. You get an entire 24 hours to yourselfs, bundle her off and fuck like rabbits.
The main problem was the child is Chinese and his parents English isn’t great. If I was going to be home in the morning I would have said ok but I didn’t think it was fair (to the child’s parents) to have him stay for the first time when I had to leave for work at 7:30am and leave them unsupervised (it was school holidays). I wouldn’t feel comfortable if my child was in a similar situation.
He got over the grumpy. The friend went to the movies and dinner for the birthday, he just didn’t stay the night. He will stay the night soon but it will be a weekend night so I am home in the morning.
Well, there’s 6 year olds and then there’s 6 years olds really. I teach horseback riding. I have a student, who, at 5 years of age, could:
- Groom the horse throughly without help, including picking the feet out.
- Saddle and unsaddle with minimal assistance (she’s very short), and put all her things away when done.
- Focus in a group lesson for an entire hour.
- Watch the other kids if she didn’t understand the excercise, or ask me to explain it again.
- Show good judgement of her own skill level.
- Outride kids twice her age
Then again, I’ve had 6 year old students for whom the instruction: “hold the reins and don’t let go” was a little too much for them to process.
I don’t think that its automatically too young (I went to sleepaway summer camp for a month at age 7 and had a blast), however, the parents are the best judge of what is appropriate for their own child, since there is such a wide range of abilities and experiences at that age.