Toys that won't be found under the tree this year.

Well kiddies, it’s time for the annual “SDMB fictional toy list”. Each year we get a few that would probably sell if made, let’s see what we can come up with this year. My offerings:

Rude Dude doll. He farts, he burps, he tells you how to get screwed in 10 different ways. Press the button on the back and he flips you off.

Crips Monopoly. You don’t buy properties, you take them. You tag the trains. You have drive by shootings. You put up crack houses and flea bag hotels. The winner is the one that avoids going to jail.

Robo Pro Sports Athlete. You get him the biggest contract you can then keep him out of trouble. You diss him, he takes all your batteries and looks for another agent.

Can’t forget the prennial Bag’o’glass.

How about a couple of small, brightly-colored models of cities and villages, complete with housing, animals, and tiny little people? They’d be called Bathtub New Orleans and Bathtub Tsunami.