Your lip service doesn’t mean shit to me or any other woman who’s ever had her boundaries pushed too far, gotten creeped out by skeevy pervs like you, been assaulted, been molested, or been raped. Which is pretty much all of us.
The worst thing I’ve ever done to another human being was when I made fun of a male classmate’s acne in 7th grade. Then I felt horrible and apologized that afternoon, and he forgave me. The worst thing you ever did was sexually assault multiple women over a period of years. That you realize it was wrong (and oh yeah, fucking illegal!) years or decades after the fact (and only then after being berated for your rapeyness by random internet strangers) does not entitle you to forgiveness. Going up to each and every woman you’ve ever assaulted, apologizing, and then either confessing your crimes to the police or offering your victims compensation… that would entitle you to forgiveness.
Until you do that, you’re a slimy toerag disguised in human flesh.
Exactly. I’m not going to outright slap him like they do in the movies. (Note, I said I’d be tempted, not that I’d actually do it.) But if some guy won’t take “no!” for an answer, and keeps pushing, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. (I probably should have phrased my original post better)
But someone telling me, “I won’t think you’re a slut!” Well, good for you. The answer’s still no. Get lost, creep. And if you stop and think about it, if anyone’s a slut, it’s a guy who’s so desparate to get his rocks off he would be willing to put up with a girl who actually is playing those mind games.
We don’t need to. You’ll never forget, and that’s enough. I’m modestly placated by the notion that you seem to have begun developing a nascent conscience, you see. My molester did the same, around age 50. And since he’ll never be imprisoned (despite repeat offenses with at least 2 victims), my biggest comfort is knowing he’ll die alone, lonely, and haunted. >:}
BTW, I wonder if Treis is aware that “I didn’t want to seem like a slut back then” really means “I didn’t really want to have sex with you just now but I don’t want to tell you that.”
I completely agree with doing everything you think is appropriate if someone is touching you. But for her to say that this is why people don’t see women slapping men as abuse is a stupid damned thing to say.
Otherwise, yeah, I agree with all of the people saying that a dude who would say that is just gross.
As a male, I can heartily recommend close contact between your knee and the douchenozzle’s balls as proper action in such circumstances. Preferably with enough force to make him taste said balls in the back of his throat for the next couple of days.
I’m totally convinced that no women can really appreciate the effect of a bull’s eye hit in the balls. You need to be male to know how effective that shit is. And IMNSHO, guys who don’t respect women’s boundaries deserve every gram of that experience.
I’m like thre pages late to this thread because of treis, but thanks. I don’t know about my dad, either. We are fixing our relationship and I am glad we had the opportunity to do that, which Mom and I never did…but you know. I mean, all those afternoons sitting watching Price is Right with him, all the times he waited for me after school, sitting in the car by himself, all the times he drove me to my best friend’s house, all the times he cooked dinner for me…they don’t just go away because he had very very bad judgement three times. I was alone with him thousands of times and he never did anything wrong. It’s very hard to sit here and say because three times in my life he was an asshole that I should never forgive him over that.
Hell, I think I’m going to call him now.
On the topic that’s currently going on, I have two stories to relate:
I once was semi-sort of seeing a super hot guy, whom I really wanted to sleep with. We went on a date, and afterwards we sat in the back of his car. I was quite willing to fool around a little bit, but I didn’t want to sleep with him - and I didn’t. When it became clear, he pushed a little - ok, quite a bit - but eventually stopped. I still wanted to have sex with him, and to this day, I have a bit of wistfulness that I said no…but I do NOT sleep with men in cars and I am glad I never compromised my standards. Even when I wonder what it would have been like I am still relieved I didn’t go along to get along. You can still want sex and say no…and if he had pushed further, I’d just have terrible memories of that day.
The other story. During college I went home for the summer. I met a man in a summer course who immediately came on to me. I told him I had a boyfriend (not true, but at that time I wasn’t as confident as I am now) and he backed right off. I got to know him. He got to know me. We became friends. We started hanging out. There was clear sexual tension between us. And one evening after class we were hanging out in the evening on campus and I kissed him (and confessed there was no boyfriend). And the next day we became lovers. And when I asked him later why he had backed off if he still wanted to sleep with me, he said, “You said you had a boyfriend, so I decided to let you make the decision if you wanted to pursue me.”
I have never forgotten that conversation. That was respect.