Trek Dopers, what would you include in an R rated Star Trek?

How about letting Worf go beserker on people? That would be nice.

Or Picard becomming inexplicably foul mouthed? “Make it fucking so, you bastard twit helmsman!”

Vulcanian full frontal nudity? (special TOS word there, you know?) What else on a Vulcan is pointy?

Hmmm… mix and match series. Sisco and Chacotay street fight it out to the death on a slum world ruined by Enterprise era anti-prime directivites.

Bones performs a CSI style autopsy on aliens who aren’t quite dead yet.

Well, you get the idea.

Serious or frivolous, just give me my Trek Dope fix! NOW!

I’d have Troi and Dr. Crusher going at it in one room, Wesley and Riker doing the nasty in another and Data banging the warp drive.

I’d love to see Worf going berserk on a room full of baddies… Not this nearly gleeful rage that we’ve seen, but a primal fury that trascends rational thought… The sort that he finds difficult to end of his own volition perhaps even to the point of harming one of his own crewmen before the epic internal struggle is brought under control. THEN I would believe his is part Klingon…

Ezri experiencing the Zhian’tara while Odo’s on board visiting Kira. Odo will, of course, have better shape shifting abilities after spending time with his people and will play the role of Jadzia. Unbeknownst to the two, some Betazoid goes through the Phase and somehow forces her quadrupled sex drive on the current and former Dax hosts. :smiley:

Yeah, I need a life.

Let’s see a phaser blasting a bloody, boiling hole through somebody’s body, rather than leaving NO mark at all (that’s an early TNG thing, mostly).

What? Was Conspiracy not good enough for you, SPOOFE? :stuck_out_tongue:

Decon done in the nude, with at least three people involved. And it quickly gets out of hand.

Porthos mauls a would-be attacker to death.

How about Riker & Troi’s nude wedding? With most of the camera time given to Troi, of course :smiley:

Torgo: IIRC, we did see Data naked in the episode where he gets kidnapped. He ain’t got nothing down there.

A real day-in-the-life of the Klingon fleet – where heads roll and guts spill out for real.


Ah… no, my friend… the question is whether in Vulcanis, people’s naughty bits are green!

The oft-mentioned but never seen Orion Traders homeworld – raw, gritty, with much broken-bottle-to-the-face street violence and beaucoup green slavegirls being “broken” for market.

Historical/trip-to-the-past episode where they travel to Vulcan pre-Surak or Q’onos pre-Kahless and we get to see how really, really, really bad things were in Vulcan and how really worse were the Klingons doing.

Wesley accidentally beamed into Klingon warship’s women’s quarters

Full-ceremony Betazed wedding

Exactly what was Barclay doing in the holodeck with the “Goddess of Empathy” Sim-Troi.

Oh, and of course: Fully-shown Enterprise-era decontamination rubdowns for T’Pol and Hoshi. Frequent and thorough. And preferably administering it to one another.

Many of these replies had better be jokes, or I’ll be extremely worried.

Having said that: Zero-gravity Seven of Nine.

The Holo-deck would go the same way as the internet. Started out as tool for learning but got taken over by porn, spam, photoshoped pictures, jokes etc…

I just thought of a serious concept that would be pretty interesting in an R rated movie… that being one of our little Vulcan buddies going through Pon Farr and there being absolutely no way to help him or her.

Modern day Shakespeare!

Uh… didn’t Data tell Tasha that he was fully functional? I beleive it was The Naked Now. Someone else will let us know the details…

Oooh, oooh! How about some shipboard discipline, huh? A sweaty, bare chested Picard takes a holo-paddle to a naked Beverly’s ass. Yummy. Then, holo-images (fully functional) of Hoshi and T’Pol come to administer a soothing salve to her ‘affected’ areas.

One of Quark’s Holo-suite programs gets loose and goes on a ‘Jack the Ripper’ type killing spree. (Without posessing Scotty this time. No easy endings!)

*Seeing a usually cool Vulcan suddenly crack under the pressure and go postal on the entire crew… only a hand full survive.

*All the female crew wearing a tight spandex uniform.

*Data and Spock in a bar drinking, laughing, and cursing like sailors.

*Blood, and lots of it. A phaser blast would cause the blood to boil and the person would litterally burst and cover everything in a 15 foot radius in red.

I too would like to see Worf go berserk.

I’ve been forced to hear Klingon opera. Now I’d like to see one.

I think it would be amusing to watch somebody–Riker, perhaps–walk in on a couple of aliens having sex and not immediately realize what was happening. Really, they should do something like that anyway (if that haven’t already). You really wouldn’t need an R rating to get away with it if it was done right, and it could be pretty funny.

I would like to see Data, in his never ending quest to be more human, try on the role of pissed-off officer. It would be interesting to see him access his store of cuss words–no doubt the galaxy’s largest–and the drill sergeant routines of fourteen thousand planets to dress down some slacking crew member. Or, if Data’s morals and ethics programs prevented him from abusing a crew member, he could practice on his cat, Spot.

Just once, I would like to hear Geordi exclaim, “Goddamn, Data, you just can’t do things like that.”

I would like to see Spot get abducted by a visiting alien dignitary, either for sex or food.

I get the picture that Riza (sp?) is quite the libertine hotspot. I would like to see that picture. Although that fantasy might require an X rating instead of a mere R.

Most of all, though, I would like to see Wesley Crusher die in a grotesque and painful manner. Perhaps the Cardassians or somebody could get ahold of whiney little space nerd and reenact the ending of Braveheart on him or something. Worf and the rescue party could arrive just in time to see Wesley’s guts hit the floor and hear him scream, “Mommmy!” I can just hear Worf in 10-Forward after the failed mission now: “The boy died without honor.” And Riker: “I never liked the little punk anyways.”


Full frontal Seven-of-nine

Data’s dick (I’m not gay, but I’ve always wondered exactly how that equipment worked)

Warf fighting in something other than the usual pussy-fied way

A phaser taking a major, but not immediately lethal chunk outta someone

naked aliens with unusual naughty bits

//\etalHea|) gave me another idea: full frontal Trill nudity. I want to see exactly where the spots go and if the abdominal pouch is visible to the naked (no pun intended) eye.

An expendable crewman getting pulled apart by the differential gravity near a black hole. Yucky. :slight_smile:

I, too, would like to see a Klingon opera . . .

And I would like to see Data swear like a sailor . . .

But the thing that I would like to see most is SPOCK FINALLY ADMITTING THAT HE’S IN LOVE WITH CAPTAIN KIRK. And I would like to see Kirk get all embarrassed and uncomfortable, and then, after a little soul-searching, shrug and say, “Oh, what the hell! It’s only once every seven years.”

Seriously, can you imagine a happier, or more logical ending?

Live long and prosper!

Why stop there? Abdominal pouch sex!!! I want to see death! Crewman getting raped by alien monsters who stab them to make their own orafices and then the young devourer their way out. I want limbs flying and blood splattering during phaser battles. The crewmen should look like victims of paintball games with all the different colored alien blood on them. I want planets exploding and little kids crying. I want to see a holodeck where an alien is gunning down puppies. I want cartoon characters to come alive out of the holodeck and destroy three decks. I want the Jem’Hadar to be addicted to eating lungs of living organisms and have to do it while the camera is rolling. I want people beaming bombs inside of other people and then they explode and spray acid all over the bridge. I want aliens that bore into the heads of crewmen, suck out their brains, then puke them onto other crewmen as a weapon. I want an alien whose touch makes men ejaculate uncontrollably until blood shoots out and they dehydrate and die. I want gangs of robots who rape pets. I want an alien that communicates by shooting feces at people. That’s all i can think of at the spur of the moment

Oh, and naked Hoshi. :slight_smile: