I just discovered that in 4 out of my 7 replies, I am the last reply. My witticisms and thoughty thoughts seem to go without response. Am I the unofficial “wet blanket” of the message boards? Or, the “singing fat lady(fellow)” in the operatic sense? Is this the trial by fire of all newbies?
When do you all teach me the secret handshake? Oh, and how do I make a smiley? Or a frowney, as the case may be?
Threadkiller! AHHH! RUN!
Its okay. We’ll love you for your wit and intellect. And debauchery and chocolate never hurts.
…I rest my case.
In the Reply window under the Straight Dope banner where it says Forum Rules are links for smilies and vB code.
and don’t worry. Even old hands have been Treadkillers.
It’s all in what time you’re posting… if you end up frequenly coming to the board at the changing of the guard… (when work poster’s are on their way home and home poster’s haven’t gotten home yet) you can end up doing that.
Go read every thread in about this message board.
that’ll teach you smileys, some history, and all you ever wanted to know about quoting.
-Doug
First off, welcome aboard. 
Now, to make a smiley face, you need simply make the equivalent symbol for it when you type your post. Want to know what the symbols you type in are? Go to this link.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/index.php?action=showsmilies
If you want to bring that link up at any time, just look at the top of the screen when you type your reply. There is a line that says “Smilies are On”. Click the word Smilies. Proceed.
You can also learn the vB code by clicking that. This allows you to do all sorts of things, like bold or underline. It’s easy.
I don’t really know why you have been the last post in several threads. Probably just bad luck. Either that or the threads are older and people have had their fill of them already.
Or you are to smart for us. 
How dare you steal my title! Begone, pretender to the throne!
Well, ummmmm…if it helps, the threads that I have blessed with my presence have generally either [List=A][li] whithered under my toxifying touch or [] gone merrily on their way oblivious to my existence, with my hopelessly naive post sticking out like a sore thumb []Hi Opal![/list=A]And my witticisms are never as cute an hour after I post them as they were when I dreamt them up. I wouldn’t worry about it, though, it’s probably just growing pains. You and I both know that we’re brilliant, right? It can’t be too long before everyone else catches on.[/li]P.S. Welcome! And today’s my birthday! I’m a week old!
P.P.S. Don’t hate me if I kill this thread too, 'kay?
Thanks for the welcome and the tips! Of course I’m now at risk again of being the last reply. It’s a vicious circle.
upperdeckfan, I think all newbies feel like that (I know I did). Once people get used to seeing you around, you’ll get some more response.
Welcome upperdeckfan and Myrnalene. I’m a newbie too, by general definition. From my observations, it is basically the “new kid in school” thing. Generally you get ignored a lot until people figure out if you are okay or a moron. Eventually, you can sit at the end of the lunch table instead of under the tree. But then, you start to get beat up now and then. One day, instead of being the thread killer, you’ll post and then get gang banged in the shower to see if you are tough or spineless. That’s when things get touchy. There is a fine line between wimping out and coming across as a butthole. Hang in there, be yourself, don’t be stupid, and have fun
Isn’t Jester official Mega-Threadkiller o’ Doom?
UDF, you’ll want to see him about a challenge to his title.
This is nothing! When I get home from work, it’s 7.30pm. That is the precise time the boards go down for 15 minutes for so called ‘maintenance’ (but it does it at this time EVERY DAY!).
That means anything I was about to reply to at 7.29 probably won’t get added. If it does, this is actually something like 2.30am America time, so I have to wait until midnight my time before America wakes up and the boards reawaken.
Then I sleep, hugely important world events occur while I am snoozing, and the boards go crazy with new posts. I get back to them (if I’m lucky) soon after waking, or I have to wait until after work, which starts the cycle over again.
My point being, if I post to a thread at this time, it’s almost a guarantee of killing it.
Welcome to the SDMB, Upperdeckfan.
I’m still a newbie myself, so I feel your pain. Well, that is, I felt your pain until I thought to myself, “aaar stuff it”.
I also felt that I was a Straight Dope wallflower, but I don’t give a toss now whether I am or not. There are some way cool people here who will like you for the person you are. Give it time. There is also a small minority of elitist dickheads who would love you to think there is a secret handshake. Don’t waste your time with them.
Be yourself. Whether or not you get into the more esoteric branches of the subculture of this board is up to you. I’m sure you’ll like it here regardless.
And don’t worry about your post count. A post count in the thousands doesn’t give any indication of the quality of the posts.
Not much other advice to give except… well, I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.
