Trick rhetorical questions

I pit stupid people who ask rhetorical questions and then expect an answer.

The most common variety goes something like “Did you hear about that tornado? It’s a good thing we don’t get them here, right? Right?”

Yes, that’s a good thing. You really don’t need me to affirm your keen observation, do you? Are you really so desperate for validation?

The second is usually used to torment children though I’m sure it’s occasionally brought out by dick bosses. “What you did was stupid. How many times have I told you not to do that? Well?”

Um… I don’t know. Thirteen? Surely you realize when you are bitching someone out, they are either tuning you out or painting mental pictures of your grizzly demise. They aren’t whipping out a spreadsheet and adding to their tally of your abusive rants organized by topic.

You know this rant sucks, right?
:slight_smile:

Well, gas prices are really high. It’s a good thing they aren’t higher, right?

Right!

Did I answer correctly?

“Is that your son?”

Well lets use something called Occam’s razor here numbnuts, I am a racial minority of around 1% give or take nationally and he looks almost like a young clone of me, so clearly no he is not my son.:rolleyes: Derp derp.

Damn it, Jack, how many times have I told you to think before you post a pit thread? Huh?

I can’t be arsed to do a google search, but it’s comforting to know I could find out if I needed to. :smiley:

kferr and morgenstern: see, those could still be properly rhetorical. You’d have to ask twice to make it truly stupid.

Grisly, unless you are envisioning them eaten by a bear. :slight_smile:
But this is the worst question. When you’ve already fucked up and feel bad enough, and are trying to make things right, it doesn’t help for someone to be asking you Huh? Huh? Huh?

“Hey, how about this heat?” (Wishing I had Michael Ironside’s power from Scanners)

What the fuck is this shit?

What do you call the opposite? Questions that people usually expect answers to, but instead they ask and never give you a chance to respond?

For example, where I use to work sometimes I’d be walking down a hallway and someone else would be walking in the opposite direction. “Hey, how’s it going?” They’d say as they kept on walking away from me.

If you feel the need to acknowledge me but don’t have the time for a conversation, just say, “Hey,” “Hi,” or, “Hello.”

My mother used to do this. She was the queen of RO. She’d ferret the worst story out of the paper: “Oh my God, some guy cooked his wife and ate her liver. Isn’t that horrible? Don’t you think that’s horrible? Well, don’t you? God, what kind of a son have I raised?”

As a medical student, I just had a resident do that to me after I took too long seeing a patient in the ER.

“How long were you in there? What rotation is this?”
“Um, about 20 minutes?”
“Try 30. And what rotation is this?”

Fortunately, the residents don’t grade us on this rotation, so I just looked at her and said “Seriously?”

For the first one, I wouldn’t expect that, even after the second question, they actually wanted an answer, just that they didn’t get any response that you had heard what they said. The second one just isn’t actually rhetorical. Yes, that same question can be rhetorical, but, when that’s the case, it’s said differently. I can’t exactly describe the difference in text, though.

I wonder if this is because people are trying to avoid the “those people all look the same” trap. I mean, if I encountered an Inuit man (or some other racial group that I rarely encounter) with an Inuit child which (to his Inuit eyes) looked nothing like him, they still might look very close to identical to me. So I’d be extra cautious. (Not to mention of course that it could be your nephew, younger brother, cousin, etc.)

This is my biggest peeve right now. A friend’s dating a woman who’ll make an observation, but then shoot herself in the foot by turning it into a question, then asking if she’s right, then asking if it was okay that she asked it.

*Oh, you’re wearing a Goonies shirt! How nostalgic…

It’s okay to be nostalgic… eh? Sometimes. Right?

Am I right? Nostalgia’s not a bad thing, is it?

Oh, is it all right that I brought up nostalgia? *

(the last couple questions addressed to each person, done by swiveling around and making eye contact with each person in the cafe, even those engaged in other conversations)

From my (admittedly limited) knowledge of human interaction, I think someone who does this is trying to do one of two things. Either they’re trying to start a conversation with you, so they’re giving you a topic and an opening to start talking. Or they have something more they want to say about the topic—an anecdote, an opinion, a rant—but they want to make sure you’re listening and willing to engage with them before they get too far into it.

If it bothers you, be contrary and give them an answer they don’t expect. “Naw, man, I love tornadoes”; or “I wish we had them here; I’ve always wanted to go to Oz.”

Not quite the same, but I can’t stand “Hi, how are you?” It’s not like you really want to know.

I couldn’t agree more. I’ve gotten to the point where that is one of my hugest pet peeves. I hate that question so much. Not from friends, coworkers, acquaintances, or others who might have a legitimate personal reason to ask, but from strangers and customer service people. It’s become an expected part of the customer service repertoire. Overly chipper clerk (and this from a girl who’s pretty overly chipper herself most of the time): “Hi! And how are you today”?

I refuse to answer the question. I politely side step it by answering “how do you do”? or “Hello/hi etc”. (and actually had one clerk ignore my polite sidestep and ask it again very pointedly “how ARE you”!? and proceed to insist that when they ask it, the customers MUST follow the convention and answer properly, a brief quiet verbal standoff ensued, but that’s another story).

If I’m not feeling so great, or am stressed and in a hurry (and they’re now adding to the timeline here by insisting upon doing the “howareyoufinethanks” dance). I’m not going to lie and say “fine”. I don’t care how much it’s supposedly some social convention now. Again, I’m not rude, or snippy in my refusal, I am polite and soft spoken and simply ignore the question and request what I need. And even if I’m feeling okay, it’s so…what’s the word?..mundane? Useless? Something…anyway, it’s aggravating. Whatever happened to a simple “good afternoon/morning…may I help you with anything/what can I get for you?” thing? What’s so wrong with that?