Tricks you use(d) that don't work

“If I get pregnant, he’ll marry me and give up the other girl and we’ll live happily ever after!”

OK, I haven’t done that one. But I’ve never seen it actually work.

“Oh, I don’t need to write [whatever it is I need to remember] down on a piece of paper. I’ll remember it later.”


“Fuck, what was it that I was supposed to remember?”


“Oh, I don’t need to hit the snooze button on my alarm. I’ll just turn it off altogether and that’ll force me to get up.”

Cue me waking up half an hour later having to dash out the door and run to catch my bus because I went right back to sleep after shutting off the alarm. Actually, this trick DOES work for me now, because the only thing I have to get up for is work (as opposed to school, where I didn’t have as many consequences for being late). The threat of getting fired if I don’t show up on time is enough to get my ass out of bed.

Sounds very much like the dreaded Somewhere I’ll Be Sure To Remember, as in "Oh, let me put this very important item Somewhere I’ll Be Sure To Remember. If you ever want something well and truly hidden, let me put it away Somewhere I’ll Be Sure To Remember. I guarantee you won’t see it again for years. (Hmmm… wonder if Joseph of Arimathea put his grail away Somewhere He’d Be Sure To Remember?)

And this is why Post-It Notes took so long to be invented. The idea was there, but no one had a piece of paper to write it down on…

Ah. You must not have a sister who thinks nothing of calling you at work to ask you to help her daughter with algebra–right that minute.

(Sigh of defeat) I have finally resigned to the notion that my memory isn’t so hot these days. When I was a kiddo, I remembered everything, didn’t need to take notes in class, could quote something you said to me offhand 10 years ago, etc. Twas a sad day when I had to admit to myself, “Old gal, you are not going to remember this. Write. It. Down.” Edit: Speaking of writing things down, notes so self don’t work so great when your writing is chickenscratch. I actually had to make an effort to improve my penmanship after revisiting a note and going, “What the hell was I trying to tell myself?”

Hell no. And even if they did want to call me at work with such pressing non-emergencies, they wouldn’t call my work number. Hell, I don’t even think they have it.

This thread makes me happy. I get so tired of super cheerful Martha Stewart-y little tips and tricks whose efficacy people orgasm over.

Life is a series of futile attempts and meaningless gestures, people. Stop being in denial!

I use the “drafts” folder on my phone to take notes. My version is:

Possibly while drunk, need to write something important down.

Compose brief message that simplifies the facts. I start to wonder whether I should clarify… nah…

The next day: “WTF does this mean?”

Cruise control to avoid speeding. Doesn’t work for me at all anymore. Sooner or later someone is going to be going almost as fast as me but not quite. And I’ll twist the gas open. And since I’m on the throttle anyway I’ll just stay there and make up some time. And that guy just up there is just a little too slow as well. And where the Hell did that state trooper come from and why does he want me to pull over?

I’m the opposite, I’ll start looking for something while thinking “Gee, I remember setting this down and saying to myself that I’ll never be able to find it if I leave it here”

I have a god awful short term memory. Just terrible. If I need to remember to take something with me the next time I leave the house, I set my wallet on top of it so I see it when I walk out the door.

“Flaming globes of Sigmund!”? Is that funny? That’s not funny.

Piling up things in front of the door so I won’t forget to take them. 5 gallon water container? I’ll never spot it on my way out even if I have to step over it. I’ll have a brief funny-place-to-leave-that moment though.

That’s spirit! Everybody should just give up!

Because he’s an asshole!

I’ll even see things and go, “Meh, too much effort to take it down.” I kept on the to-do list in the back of my mind for a while to compile a bunch of clothes and miscellanea to give to charity. When I finally got around to no longer saying “I should do this” and just did it, and put everything in a box, I could never remember to actually take the box anywhere. “Oh, it’s in the closet. Out of sight, out of mind.” I moved it to the living room, walked past it on the way out everyday, and it never left. I ended up moving it to the narrow hallway that leads to my front door, and all I ended up to doing was moving it to the corner of the hallway so that it wasn’t in my way anymore. This box has been there for coughs and muffles the amount of time it’s been there. Sad.

All my in-city sisters have my work number in case of an actual emergency with my father or some such. But while two of them will only call for actual emergencies, the third’s a little touched.

Next stop - 6 months in the trunk of the car!

I totally LOL’d at that because I know it’s true! :smack:

This one works for me: Announcing publicly that I’'m going to do something. People will follow up - so how’s it going now that you XYZ. You have to do it because you said you would.

Solution: Don’t tell anyone.

Heh! I have a file on my desktop with things I thought would make interesting ideas/lines for a story. Any ideas what “Wolf Crepe” or “Date rape Christmas” mean? 'Cause I have no idea what I was thinking. The latter could be a band name, though.

On the punctuality thing, I have the opposite problem. Most of the folks I hang out with are international students, many of whom come from cultures much more relaxed about time. So I’ll get an invitation to a party that says it starts at 6, and I’ll try hard to find things to keep me occupied long enough, and show up at 6:30 or 6:45, and still be the first person there.

Oh wait. I bet the second one is a ref to “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” Still have no idea why anyone would waste crepes on wolves, though.