Troll-like Questions

Okay people, we seem to have quite an influx of trolls or at least an increase in trollish behavior. This thread is here to provide some comic relief. If you consider some of the questions as humor they can be quite entertaining. Behavior this nescient cannot be entirely accidental. I want everyone to use his or her native intelligence to become ignorant for just a moment.

This is the only thread where you will not be flamed, possibly ridiculed, but not flamed, for posting troll-like topics. If anyone does respond seriously to any of the posts, that person will be taken behind the woodshed and flogged heartily with a limp oxymoron.

I’ll get us started.

Next year, before the real millennium rolls around on December 31, 2000 at midnight, will we have to endure the same Y2K folderol we have this year?

“You should certainly have made a sign saying which was your mouth, which your asshole.
Just when you were gabbing I thought you’d farted.” - Nicarchus, as quoted by P.J. O’Rourke

Okay, here’s mine:

Should Leonardo DiCaprio be Anakin Skywalker in the next Star Wars movie?


“Waheeey! ‘Duck!’ Get it?”
“Errr… No…”
“Duck! Sounds almost exactly like fu-”

I know troll-questions are like hypotheticals; they shouldn’t be answered, but:

GuanoLad: Should Leonardo DiCaprio be Anakin Skywalker in the next Star Wars movie?

Yes: he does look like Jake Lloyd would after puberty and could be made up to look any age from 15 to 35. Poor Jake, of course, will only be 11 & 14 when the shootings of the sequels are scheduled. (The queen certainly wouldn’t consort with someone who didn’t at least look like an adult.)

No: He gets too much press as it is. Plus, the saga doesn’t need “star power” (no pun intended). The original trilogy had Alec Guinness, but he was arguably not well known amongst the target audience.

1.I know there are supposed to be two words that end in -gry. What are they?

2.Why do they call them “reruns”? They never “run” anywhere. They just reappear every week!

Shit. I’m proofreading too much to be a troll. OK, How’s this;

if afortication is alarge fort what is a ratification this is a seriious question so no rude ansers or i’ll think u r DUMB SO THEIR

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

how many road’s must a man walk down? give me the corect answer or i’ll kick you’re shins

I’m sorry, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t replicate true Trollish grammar.

I’ve got this lit. test tomm. & i’m wondrun what the plot is for Pride and Prejedis?

Tenacious, like a coonhound tracking a poodle in heat.

H3y D00d, wH3r3 K@n I fInD A0m3 w@r3Z?
. . . Damn is it hard to type like that. . .
– Sylence

“The problem with reality is the lack of background music.” – Anon

dude, i herd thereeis a liddle man in a boat somewheres in a wimmens magina! were is it?! Ive had sex befo, so don’t be thinkin im a virginia or sumthin.
da CoooooooooooooooWGooooooD

(ahhh, don’t we all miss the Love Rock?)

“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
\/-------\ | |-----| |


i heard this guy yesterday in my english class tell me that the news said a guy got drugged and had his kidenys takenout. and when he woke up hehad sticthes and everything like an oparation

is this tru? do u think this will effect travel to foren conntries?


I just want to let everybody know that Satan is not my friend and has never been so. I cannot manage to get it through his thick skull and into his tiny brain, however. He continues to live in the same state as I do even though I keep hoping he will quit. He is a spineless wimp, by the way. He insulted televangelists and one of my relatives watches them. I don’t really have a question, I just wanted to make you aware of Satan’s insulting and manifold flaws. Thank you.

“Had I been around at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.”

  • Alfonso X

Duh, what I meant to say, of course, is that Satan is not my PAL. But I’m sure y’all figured that out.

“Had I been around at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.”

  • Alfonso X

ok you bunch of meanie poop heads don’t like me, im going to leave it all u falt i have pimples and all keds an stop makin fun of y name,2 pleze if u is intellergant u wull stop
Nah, its not that hard to do. Just disconnect the brain, then allow your fingers to do the walking unattended

Ayesha - Lioness

I’m out of my mind, but,
feel free to leave a message

So far, Fretful Porpentine has the most dead-on troll-post. In my very limited personal experience ( I’m so new I’ve never even seen a loverock post! ), real trolls betray their flaws with obvious stupidity and bad timing. ( Though the world would be a bit easier to live in perhaps if they did. They’d be much easier to identify. ) Real life trolls ( Adam, for example, ) are usually educated enough to at least make their ideas clear. They are better I.D.'d by their argumentativeness, their inability to listen to others, and their tendancy to resort to personal insults when they know that the battle is lost.

The most effective way to spot a troll IMNSHO is if the poster in question is obviously looking for a fight. Anyone who puts out a question that is insulting and inflammatory to the most of the people out there probably isn’t very reasonable. Bonus troll points are awarded for obvious ignorance or lack of education.

I’m gonna try for a troll-like question, tell me how I did.

Ok now I read the Bible and I notice that it says that only people who believe in God can go to heaven. Now there are people all over the world who worship the false idols of money and sex, not to mention all those people who are satan’s tools saying they worship Vishnu or A La or whatnot, turning people away from the one true God.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’d better be a good Christian like me, or else you’re doomed to eternal Hellfire and Damnation.


Medieval Madness pinball machine

Here are some good ones:

  1. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

  2. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

  3. How do I set my laser printer on stun?

  4. How is it possible to have a civil war?

  5. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

  6. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

  7. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

  8. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

  9. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

  10. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

  11. Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

  12. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t
    everyone just move 10 miles away?

  13. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them?

  14. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

  15. What happens when none of your bees wax?

  16. Where are we going? And what’s with this handbasket?

  17. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash,
    why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?

White Wolf

“Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.”

“Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.”

I think you are all missing the point. However, if you take the time to read the bible from cover to cover you will easily conclude that not only did God write The Book Of Love, but that there was a painfully empty spiritual void in your soul (after you finish reading the bible your soul will be full of it).

After you read the book you will agree with me. Until then you are nothing but Satan’s mouthpiece. LALALALA (I can’t hear you) LALALALA.

Satan’s mouthpiece? Doesn’t sound all that bad at all…

Oh, wait. You meant THAT Satan. Nevermind.

Fretful: Hey, aren’t you going to include a link to your source elsewhere on the message board on your question? I just can’t STAND people like you! You piss me off so much, you plagiarizers. You’re taking other people’s hard work and just ripping it off shamelessly. You deserve to die for your sins.

(Sorry, can’t get myself to use bad grammar…)

Wordsmith: One of the elite few who knows that George Herbert Walker Bush was a Huge Berserk Rebel Warthog.

In my last post, the line that reads, ", real trolls betray their flaws with obvious stupidity and bad timing. " should read, ", real trolls don’t betray their flaws through obvious stuopidity and bad writing. " Just wanted to correct my mistake.

So I see that nobody responded to my OP. I take your silence to mean that you all agreee with me, because I know that none of you want to go to hell because you didn’t listen to an apostle of Jesus Christ and change your wicked ways. Agree with me, or you are evil and sinful if you don’t.


Medieval Madness pinball machine

If I choke a Smurf, what color would it turn?

C’mon, I need the answer now!