Hi, my name’s Akatsukami, and I like Troma films.
For those of you who have better taste than to watch these movies, viz., everybody, let me explain briefly. Troma is an independent studio that has, for over a quarter of a century, delivered consistently schlocky movies combining the worst scripts, the poorest “actors” (even coupled with the word “poorest”, the quotes seems mandatory), and the lowest budgets since that Edison guy invented the movie camera. I believe that the term “Z-movie” may have been invented strictly for Troma’s films. If it wasn’t, it should have been.
Chopper Chicks in Zombietown (1989) is a bit formulaic (especially for Troma) but has its redeeming features. An all-girl biker gang rides into a town where an evil undertaker is secretly converting the residents into zombies to work in the uranium mines. No, really, that’s the plot. Particularly striking moments, I thought, were the bits were one of the girl gangstas shoots the undertaker in the leg and he hops away cursing, and where the junior member of the gang, the rifles conveniently stocked by a hardware having been grabbed off by everyone else, seizes a heavy-duty staple gun and begins stapling zombies. Also, the dwarf undertaker’s assistant delivers one of the most profound lines in the history of miserably wretched films: "If God had wanted me to do normal things, He would have made look like normal people.
Surf Nazis Must Die (1987). I’d like to tell you what this film is about, but I can’t. The first time I saw it was on TV, where it had been so heavily edited that it didn’t make sense. Then, I finally rented it on video, and it still didn’t sense. In Troma’s tradition of bad taste, however, there weren’t only the Surf Nazis (who were, yes, a gang of Nazi surfer dudes and babes with nicknames like Hitler and Eva), but a gay hairdresser surfer dude gang, too (whose members went by the monickers Curl, Blow, and Dry). Very poignant was the final scene, where the woman whose son was murdered by the Surf Nazis, and who spends the last act of the film running them down and blowing them up, watches Hitler climb aboard her boat, then shoves a .45 in his mouth, and exclaiming, “Have some of Mama’s good home cooking!”, blows the back of his head off.
So, anyone else like Troma films?